8 Months Old New Kitten Is Too Active For My 3 Years Old Cat. Need Some Advise

[TnK]

I adopted 8 months old Timmy about a month ago because I wanted to get a companion for my 6-year-old Cailey after my another 6-year-old Tyler passed away few months ago due to cancer relapsed.

Since Cailey is a timid cat and did get bullied by Tyler sometimes in the past although they grew up together, so I planned to find a cat that's not dominant. When I saw Timmy at the shelter, he's very playful. The staff there told me he is not a dominant cat, ok with another cats and seems to know his boundary around the other older cats etc. so I adopted him.

After reading lots of information from the internet, I have done the introduction slowly in about two weeks and it seems successful because they had no fight, some hisses and growls from Cailey, both can eat together and stay in the same room. Cailey even shows her belly and seems relax when Timmy is around.

Now I think I didn't do enough research before adopting another cat. I have been thinking I must have chosen the wrong cat for Cailey because Timmy is super active with endless energy. I know that he's still a kitten and it takes time. I will also play with him a lot to drain his energy (he is actually draining my energy) and distract him from stalking Cailey but he wants to play every moment except sleeping even he's tired and panting after play sessions. Whenever we stop playing with him, he will look for something to play with so if Cailey is around even just sitting on the floor, he will stare at her and get ready to run to her.

I am able to distract him with playing but that means I need to play with him the whole time otherwise he will look for Cailey. Although he's not constantly looking for Cailey, his attention will go to her easily whenever he sees her walking, hears any sounds from her such as grooming, scratching the post, drinking water, even using the litter box etc. He will also jump on her back, grab and bite her neck sometimes. Cailey will fight back if Timmy is too rough but she usually will walk or run away because of her timid characteristic.

Cailey is a cutie pie but timid, sensitive to noise and movement, afraid of strangers but she seems ok when Timmy is around. She's also a bush dweller so she likes to stay on the ground, won't go up high if she needs to run away and usually hide under a bed or inside my closet. This will also attract Timmy to follow her.

I know that this is the process but need to get some advise what I should do next to make sure Cailey won't be too stressed and end up hiding from Timmy if he's too aggressive. The more Cailey hides, the more Timmy wants to play with or stalk on her when she comes out.

Here are some situations to make me hesitate to let Timmy out 24/7:

1) Timmy keeps annoying Cailey, pounce on her, chase after her. Should I just let him do that? I just worry it will make Cailey very stressful and stay away or hide from us or him.

2) When Cailey goes to the litter box, Timmy hears the sound then run there and sniff her, so Cailey had to leave the litter box and go back later, it was lucky I was there a few times to stop him so Cailey can finish her business. I guess this is still considered normal because he's still a kitten and curious? But it may not be healthy for Cailey if we are not around. Anything I can do?

3)Do they still need more time before I let Timmy out 24/7?

4) I will be away for 3 days in mid August (in about 2 weeks). I have friends who can come over to check on them but any suggestion how I should handle them? Should I separate them when I'm away but then Timmy will be staying in the guest room for 3 days with no interaction with Cailey? Or start to let him out 24/7 now? If I let him out without anyone around and play with him in those 3 days, would he turn all his energy on Cailey? I worry Cailey will start to hate him or afraid of him after these 3 days? Although I have tried letting Timmy out 24/7 this past weekend, I'm still hesitate if I should continue because Timmy is really too active.

Sorry for the long posting. Any advise would be appreciated. Many thanks!

 

[84k]

In the exact same situation, but unfortunately almost a year down the line.

We've just purchased feliway friends, when it gets here and we've tested it I'll let you know is how we've got on, but it can take a few weeks to work.

Other than that I can't help as I'm in same situation, we separate them a lot of the time and try to play with the kitten as much as possible.

 

[Draco]

Keep them separated when you are not home for the time being. Timmy still has a lot of growing to do- kittens are naturally high energy. Is Timmy neutered yet? neutering will help calm him down if not.

Play lots, as much as you can.. make him run until he pants. Whenever Timmy starts to annoy Cailey, get a toy out and distract him.

Do you have escape routes for Cailey? shelves and trees for her to escape to if she shouldn't want to be bothered?

 

[TnK]

Thanks 84k and Draco. It looks like there is no other way except waiting for Timmy to grow until one day he's not as playful.

I borrowed a feliway diffuser from a friend with a refill bottle. Although it's expired, I still plug it in hope it will help a bit while waiting for the shipment of new bottles. Not sure if it helps yet.

Timmy is neutered when I adopted him. I have lots of cat stuff at home including 2 cat trees, cat shelves in my bedroom (they both like to stay in my bedroom most of the time because they feel safe), lots of cat beds and lots of toys. Cailey is a bush dweller so she doesn't climb up if she needs to escape or hide. I do have created an escape route with boxes stacking up for Cailey to climb up to the top of my closet. But it's not good if she hides there a lot because it will attract Timmy to stalk on her when she comes out. I think she doesn't go there a lot because she prefers lying on the floor or sleep in her bed on a 3 feet tall scratching post.

I have already played with Timmy a lot most of my time after work and weekend. He has tons of energy and can continue to play even though he's tired and panting. He can be distracted by toys but that means I need to play with him the whole time whenever Cailey is around. It is very tiring.

One thing I'm still struggling is whether it is better to separate them or let Timmy out when I'm not home because they seem getting along except he will annoy Cailey with his endless energy. I also notice that he jumps on her more. Does that mean I need to separate them again? My friend said the more I separate them the more crazy Timmy will be when he sees Cailey. When I separate him in the guest room, he will meow a lot whenever he hears noise and scratches the door, and then will run into my bedroom right away when I let him out. It will also scare Cailey or he will approach her. It's getting harder to put him into the guest room.

Also, since I will be away for 3 days in 2 weeks, I really don't know what would be the best for them.

 

[Animal Freak]

Typically when people get a companion cat for their current cat, they get one about the same age. This is for the exact reason you're having problems. Cats at different ages have different energy levels. However, it can work between a younger and older cat.

Playing a lot with Timmy is good. Always distract him with a toy when he goes after Cailey even if it only lasts a few seconds. I would suggest getting some electronic toys that he can entertain himself with. You might even want to get a treat dispenser or make your own by cutting holes into a plastic bottle, but make sure he isn't getting a whole lot of extra food doing this. If he's affected by catnip, catnip toys could be handy.

I also think you should try to get Cailey up on the cat trees and shelves. Getting her up high can make her feel safer and more confident which might make her seem like less of a toy. Do you play with her as well? If not, you probably should and make sure she gets plenty of attention as well so she's still an important member of the family.

As far as leaving them goes, see where you get in the time before then, but you'll probably want to lock him up and see if you can get a friend to let him out for a little while and give them both some attention.

 

[TnK]

I thought and was told by friends that a kitten is easier for the existing cat to accept and I have never seen a kitten that has bottomless energy like Timmy I couldn't see his craziness when he was at the shelter.

Thanks for the idea of getting a treat dispenser. I have actually ordered one with the feliway refill bottles from Amazon....will see when I got it.

As for Cailey, she doesn't play a lot and not interested in most of the toys I bought for her and my beloved Tyler but I will still play with her at night before I go to bed. This routine got interrupted these past few days after letting Timmy out at midnight because she can't relax and play when Timmy is crazy around. I probably need to lock him up so I can give Cailey quality play time.

Would you suggest to lock him up when I'm not at home? How about midnight because he won't sleep through the night and then jump, run, play with his toya or annoy Cailey even she's sleeping. I woke up a few times last night

For those of you have similar situation, do you find it better to separate them for longer time? Will you separate them again after play sessions?

I love cats and enjoy having cats all my life but this time is really stressful especially because I care about Cailey so much. She's shy but likes me and will come to sleep on my lap. She hasn't done it for a while because she can't relax when Timmy is around. I still cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Animal Freak]

While a kitten is, indeed, less threatening and easier for an adult cat to accept, they just tend to be too much. They have a lot more energy and it can be difficult for an older cat to deal with and the only solution to that is time. Once he calms down then it'll be much easier.

I would keep them separate unless you're supervising because it sounds to me like Cailey has a lack of confidence. This has been an issue in my household and we have improved it through play, love, safe places to retreat to, and overall teaching them there's nothing to fear. I'm afraid that if Timmy continues to harass Cailey, it could make the situation worse and she'll feel the need to hide constantly so I wouldn't leave them together just yet.

It would be great if you could get Cailey feeling comfortable while playing. It was an important part of getting my cats to feel more secure around each other. They're all able to play in the same room with no issues. They also have they're safe spots to go to and get away from the others. Food is always a great tool. Getting them to eat meals and treats together can help them learn to trust. A timid cat is an easy target so getting Cailey feeling more secure could help.

 

[TnK]

While a kitten is, indeed, less threatening and easier for an adult cat to accept, they just tend to be too much. They have a lot more energy and it can be difficult for an older cat to deal with and the only solution to that is time. Once he calms down then it'll be much easier.

I would keep them separate unless you're supervising because it sounds to me like Cailey has a lack of confidence. This has been an issue in my household and we have improved it through play, love, safe places to retreat to, and overall teaching them there's nothing to fear. I'm afraid that if Timmy continues to harass Cailey, it could make the situation worse and she'll feel the need to hide constantly so I wouldn't leave them together just yet.

It would be great if you could get Cailey feeling comfortable while playing. It was an important part of getting my cats to feel more secure around each other. They're all able to play in the same room with no issues. They also have they're safe spots to go to and get away from the others. Food is always a great tool. Getting them to eat meals and treats together can help them learn to trust. A timid cat is an easy target so getting Cailey feeling more secure could help.

They both actually can eat meals, treats and drink water together, even sit next to each other closely so i think they somewhat ok with each other. From my observation, although Cailey is timid, she will still stay around or come back after harassed by Timmy but you can tell she's alert. Sometimes I think she's relaxed sitting on the floor, but when Timmy runs to annoy her, she will go away and sit on another spot but rarely run far away unless he chases her.

One thing I don't understand is that Cailey sometimes will lie down on the floor with her back facing Timmy and seems not care about him. And then if Timmy suddenly jump on her or grab her back and bite, she's not prepared and then will yell, hiss and/or growl at him. If Timmy is too rough, she will run outside the room but then will lie down again outside the door. I think this is why I'm even stressed knowing that Timmy will turn to her if i stop playing with him.

 

[Animal Freak]

It's good that Cailey will lay nearby and ignore him. At least there's some level of trust or at least tolerance. She just doesn't want to play. Her timid behavior leads her to running away which, unfortunately, just makes her seem more like "prey" to Timmy. The hissing and growling is fine. We want her to stand up for herself and teach him some manners, but otherwise it'll be your job to do so. It'll take time and patience working with a high energy cat, but he should calm down eventually. I would definitely try some electronic toys that can keep his interest when you aren't playing with him. If you can build some confidence up in Cailey along the way, that can help her feel more secure and seem less like prey or a toy.

 

[danteshuman]

Timmy is doing mild bullying. My punk does this to my older by 1 year cat Salem (peach, the most mild mannered sweet cat ever!) Trust me after 10 years, half the time Salem still wishes I could give back my punk Dante. I gave Salem safe places Dante is not allowed (separating them when you are not there for the next 6 months at least is a good idea.) Also be sure to give them lots of food bowls & litter boxes & cat trees. Timmy can't guard them all Please be sure to give Cailey lots of one on one time. She needs extra love and play (while Timmy isn't around) to build up her confidence. It works I swear. Sometimes I see Salem stalking my punk Companion cats don't always work like you think it will. I got Dante so Salem could have a playmate. Guess what? Dante is a toy & an attention hog!

 

[TnK]

I totally agree Cailey does act like prey or toy to Timmy especially when she tries to avoid him by walking away slowly with tail down. I know for sure it will attract Timmy to stalk on her when I see her walk like this but I dont know how I can help her build up confidence because she won't even let you pet or pick her up when she's nervous or in alert mode. She's affectionate when one one on one with me when it's quiet and she's calm.

I know that this may not be suggested but when I googled for solutions, some places suggest to use sound to deter your cat from doing a bad behaviour so I tried using the Dyson handheld and push the on button for half a second only when Timmy grabs her neck and bites. It seems working after a few times and he will calm down but I know I can't use Dyson forever otherwise he will be scared when we vacuum then I stopped and changed to another stuff (a small can with coins in it) but it can't stop him so I stopped. Anyone tried? Not suggested?

I also tried to use clicker train him when he ignores Cailey or walks by without pounce on her etc but it's too difficult to catch those moments and then give him treats so I gave up.

 

[danteshuman]

Ummmmm I used the squirt bottle everyone says is a bad idea. Maybe stick with the can? (When I used it I always gave them a warning shake first... and find I haven't used it in months.) However the problem with policing/referring their behavior is Cailey will become dependent on you for protection. If you build up her confidence she can tell Timmy no I think it would be better to keep her separated. When she is in a room by herself play with her. Also give LOTS of high places that aren't dead ends to be. If necessary if she doesn't improve you can block off her low places hiding spots.
I find it is easier to referee before my punk gets within a foot of my other cat. I direct him away (slow shooing motions with my hands, walking towards him and if necessary picking him up and placing him in his cat tree or I use a sight blocker to break up the stare down) ... then a minute later I distract him with a toy/play. It works every time Then when my little punk has played a bit I include my other cat Salem in the play. I kinda switch back and forth between them and sometimes will throw a toy mouse or ball so the other one has something to play with to. I do have one spot that if I see my punk Dante even approaching I will shoo him away; giving my other cat a place to chill out.

 

[Animal Freak]

You can increase confidence in your cat through play, heights, and love. Some cats (as I've learned) are difficult to get to play. It took a broken toy to get my three cats' attention. Heights is pretty simple, but Cailey seems to prefer her low spots. I would work on getting her up there with treats and maybe a toy if possible. Make her feel safe up there. And, of course, give her lots of attention. I find that making sure they have both one on one time and time together helps. I've even incorporated a training session with my three cats and my dog in which they all sit next to each other to do tricks and gets treats as rewards. I also keep catnip on hand as my most skittish cat absolutely loves it. I take her to my room (her safe room) and sprinkle some around to put her in a good mood. It can also help encourage play if Cailey is affected by it.

I would highly recommend against using anything you intend to use frequently as a deterrent. It might work, but then every time you use the object in day-to-day life, your cat is going to think he's in trouble. That's not a good fix. I would simply distract him during these times, teach him Cailey isn't a toy, and keep them apart when you aren't supervising. You might also want to try saying a firm "no" when he attacks her before moving him away from her and giving him a toy to play with.

 

[TnK]

The can doesn't quite work because you need to hold it in your hand so when it happens you can shake right away but then it will make sounds when you move your hand. I also found that the can shake will scare Cailey.

If block off low places, will it make Cailey feel even insecure without her hiding place anymore?

They both like to stay in my bedroom but it's been Cailey's room since I moved here. It happened once i tried to keep Cailey inside and let Timmy staying outside my bedroom (not in the guest room) because I went out for dinner, when I got home and looked for him, he was hiding under my sister's bed in another room maybe because he feels insecure. I feel so sorry for him because he's just a kitten.

I'm wondering how you all handle the separation part. Since I live in a house, but they like to stay in my bedroom upstairs so if I have dinner downstairs, I will worry if Timmy will harass Cailey. Even if I use toys to attract Timmy follow me, he only stays a while, then will run back upstairs. Will you monitor them whenever they are together and then separate them after play sessions? He likes to stay around us so I feel bad to lock him up because he will meow a lot and scratch the door. I think he feels very confused and unstable then he will be crazy and act out when we let him out. Just my thinking....is it true?

 

[TnK]

Update: I think Cailey has less tolerance last night because she stayed outside my bedroom lying on the floor....maybe she feels safe and easier to run away and stay away from Timmy....so I locked him up in the guest room last night at least give Cailey (and myself) a break because Timmy has been out 24/7 in the past 3 days. But he will be in the guest room by himself for over 17 hours (12am-6pm) until I come back from work. If I go see him before going to work, he will start to meow a lot because he's very desperate to come out.

I wonder if I'm doing right to sometimes let Timmy out for long time but then lock him up again. Is it hard for him to adjust?

I think it's difficult to get Cailey up high and at the same time to make her feel safe because Timmy is everywhere. When I use treats to lead Cailey go up the tree or shelving, Timmy will follow then she will retreat. If Timmy is not around, she still won't stay. I will try to repeat and see if it helps.

 

[danteshuman]

You can skip the can/squirt bottle. Carry a piece of card board instead. Timmy is young but trainable. He can learn that 1) you won't allow him to pick on her 2) you will play with him. This is not a problem that gets solved in days; it will take at least a month. Can you let Timmy have free run of the the place and lock Cailey in the guest bedroom at night? Then switch in the morning before work? Or let him have free run of the place during the day and Cailey at night when you go to bed? If you lock up a hyper cat for most of the day it will only make it worse. Also your hyper cat need play therapy 10-15 minutes long 2-3 times a day (I'm tempted to say 4-6 times a day) .... yes one of them in the morning. Puzzle and interactive toys will help while you are gone. If you let both of the cats sleep with you what happens?

 

[TnK]

You can skip the can/squirt bottle. Carry a piece of card board instead. Timmy is young but trainable. He can learn that 1) you won't allow him to pick on her 2) you will play with him. This is not a problem that gets solved in days; it will take at least a month. Can you let Timmy have free run of the the place and lock Cailey in the guest bedroom at night? Then switch in the morning before work? Or let him have free run of the place during the day and Cailey at night when you go to bed? If you lock up a hyper cat for most of the day it will only make it worse. Also your hyper cat need play therapy 10-15 minutes long 2-3 times a day (I'm tempted to say 4-6 times a day) .... yes one of them in the morning. Puzzle and interactive toys will help while you are gone. If you let both of the cats sleep with you what happens?

Thanks so much for your advise. I think it's a good idea to switch the rooms at night but since my bedroom has been Cailey's safe place since we moved here, I may stay with her if I switch them at night.

This morning, I let Timmy out for about 1.5 hours and played with him before going to work. He was lovely and gentle. I had to go downstairs for something and then when I went back, I saw Cailey hiding under a chair at the corner so i guess she must have been harassed by Timmy. When i put him back to the guest room because I need to get ready for work, he bit me once (not serious) when i picked him up and again when I put him down before leaving the room. I guess it will get harder to lock him up because he knows when we walk towards the door then he will run faster to the door than you. If my sister is in town (out of town for work half of the time so I cannot fully rely on her), she will sleep with Timmy in the guest room, then he will be more calm.

Cailey usually sleeps in her bed on a 3 foot tall scratching post at the end of my bed and sometimes she will come and sleep on my legs for a while until I move. Timmy usually sleeps anywhere (not in one of my many cat beds) including my desk, near the window etc. In those 3 days when I let Timmy out 24/7, the first night was a sat night, so it's ok that he woke us up a few times at around 5pm and later in the morning because i don't need to work the next day. I forgot if he annoyed Cailey. It was better on the second night because my sister helped to drain his energy while me and Cailey were sleeping. I woke up at around 7am and not sure what happened during midnight. I assume they both ok. But on the third night, perhaps I didn't play with him long enough, he woke up a few times, played with his toys, carried the fishing rod toys around, jump on my bed so Cailey jumped down and slept on the floor (in alert mode). When she came to my bed and leaned on my legs, Timmy followed her and jumped up suddenly then Cailey hissed and growled at him. They had a confrontation and a bit fight on my bed, then I picked up one of the toys that i put next to me and threw to the window. Good that Timmy got distracted and ran to the toy. I'm planning to try letting him out 24/7 again this weekend.

Thanks so much for everyone's responses. It's very helpful and hopefully can report some progress very soon.

 

[TnK]

You can skip the can/squirt bottle. Carry a piece of card board instead. Timmy is young but trainable. He can learn that 1) you won't allow him to pick on her 2) you will play with him. This is not a problem that gets solved in days; it will take at least a month. Can you let Timmy have free run of the the place and lock Cailey in the guest bedroom at night? Then switch in the morning before work? Or let him have free run of the place during the day and Cailey at night when you go to bed? If you lock up a hyper cat for most of the day it will only make it worse. Also your hyper cat need play therapy 10-15 minutes long 2-3 times a day (I'm tempted to say 4-6 times a day) .... yes one of them in the morning. Puzzle and interactive toys will help while you are gone. If you let both of the cats sleep with you what happens?

Now I need to rethink about trying 24/7 again because the situation seems worse tonight. Cailey started to avoid Timmy since last night and staying either outside my bedroom or inside my closet. If she's not around Timmy, I can't do the distraction. When he sees her I can still distract him but if he runs near her, he will grab her back and bite her neck again even he has played for over 15 min, tired and panting.

The room swapping doesn't work because all Timmy wants is human and Cailey. Both cats were not happy. Cailey wants to get out of the guest room even I stay with her. Timmy doesn't want free run of the house, just stays outside the guest room wanting to get in. I ended up switching back to the original plan, then played over 15 min with Timmy to drain his energy then put him back to the guest room so 3 of us can go to bed.

 

[TnK]

I notice that he doesn't quite touch the toys that i put in his room. That's probably also why he has so much energy if no one is around to play with him because he likes to chase something fast such as the fishing rod toys etc. It becomes harder to entertain him if he's separated in his room. Perhaps he's also attention seeking. I do have the CatIt track with a ball inside and the 3-towers of track but he only plays a bit and seems not interested now.

I know he likes to perch on my bedroom window to watch outside because he can watch birds, squirrels and people walking by or with dogs etc. comparing to his room, it's only facing the back alley.....but i can't lock Cailey in another room because my bedroom is her safe place. If I close my bedroom door to keep Cailey inside and let Timmy out in the house, I guess he will end up hiding under the bed in my sister's room because i think he still feel insecure to roam the house especially downstairs. What can I do?

How about a bird feeder?

 

[Animal Freak]

A bird feeder is a good idea. I got one for my cats. The only problem is the squirrels. I don't mind sharing the bird food with them since it's for the cats and they like the squirrels, but they're destructive. They chewed up our first bird feeder. Now we have a Slinky on the pole. It seems to help.

Have you gotten any electronic toys? We have a couple though my cats are too lazy. They figure out they can lay in one place and bat at it from there. However, all you have to do is turn it on and the cat plays by himself. It would be great for a high energy cat.