11 Year Old Bella Showing Serious Signs Of Aggression

[Kenziekittylover17]

Just an update;

I had to attend a conference overnight from Thursday to this morning and Bella bit my boyfriend while I was gone I knew she would be anxious with me being gone for so long and I'm upset because I know if this happens one more time he will be done and I will probably have to return her. He likes animals but we definitely differ on our levels of empathy for animals. I doubt he did anything too wild and it probably had a lot to do with me being gone for so long and her being extra on edge, but I am constantly having to remind him what to do or what not to do because she is a special cat and he can't treat her the same way he plays and messes with my cats back home. I will probably put off trying to train her with the pet carrier for a while just until things settle back down. She hissed and tried to bite me earlier shortly after I got home while she was sitting on my lap again. I hope this isn't going to be a reoccurring thing every time I have to stay over night somewhere. I don't go home often but I will be attending a handful of conferences during the spring that will require me to stay over night and I worry she will rebound every time I leave and come back. I wish I knew what she was thinking so I could just do exactly what she wants I'm sure it has a lot to do with her abandonment issues, but I don't know how to fix that.

Thank you all for always listening to me and reading my comments. It helps a lot when I feel so helpless

 

[Kenziekittylover17]

I forgot to add --- when Hunter got up this morning he found her IN HER CAT BED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! I was so happy I almost cried! Baby steps!!!

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you for the update.

If or when you find out exactly what happened to your bf that could be helpful. I am guessing she was stressed and therefore more on edge and sensitive to any movements etc.

What exactly happened before she hissed and tried to bite you when you came home and she was on your lap?

How were your emotions? Did your bf tell you she bite him before this incident? Were you feeling overwhelmed or stressed from the travel? I know when I come home and I am unpacking and putting things away , laundry etc it can be a bit overwhelming.

Just try to be as reassuring and clam and confident around her as possible. Use food, use loving reassuring talk. Anything to let her know all is ok.

I will say it is wonderful she used the cat bed. Something she can "own" and build territorial security and confidence. It really is baby steps. But as long as we can build that trust and confidence she should be able to be less stressed and relax more.

Cats do not like change so I am not surprised by this behavior. Hopefully we can see more positive steps soon.

Please let use know how things are going so we can help you. Please ask any questions. Sometimes it is hard to explain how to do things and also hard to understand the exact situation not being there. But I will do anything I can to help.

 

[xcourtney3]

My boy used to have random bouts of aggression where we'd be petting him one second and get slapped in the face the next. He has feline hyperesthesia. The aggression is actually psychomotor seizures. Please read about it and see if any of it sounds familiar. Look up the group "Feline Hyperesthesia Syndrome (FHS)" on facebook. For what it's worth, I put my guy on 5mg Prozac and he is no longer aggressive. We give it to him in a pill pocket.

 

[Kenziekittylover17]

Sorry I've been MIA - I've had internet issues but finally have them resolved.

I think Bella is just one bipolar kitty. Every time I think we're making progress she throws a curve ball at me. She will just have random bits of aggression and she actually just tried to bite me and my boyfriend both again earlier tonight. She got me a little but not near as bad as the original first bite.

I definitely was really excited to see her when I came home from my conference but she didn't run up to the door like she normally does when I come home on a daily basis. It's almost like she's actually really mad at me when I'm gone for long amounts of time.

She's finally starting to play with some toys but nothing is ever consistent. One day she likes this toy, the next she doesn't. One day she is interested in a specific blanket, the next it's her bed. There is no consistency whatsoever haha she doesn't even like the same treats from day to day.

xcourtney3, that sounded a lot more like Bella than I expected it to. She does all those things right down to the wrinkling of the skin. I wonder if that would be worth a vet trip? I'm so apprehensive about medication though. I want her to be herself I'm worried it would just cause her to be in a daze.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Please never apologize.

What exactly happened when she tried to bite you? And your boyfriend? What was her body language like? Etc.

Sometimes cats do greet people and sometimes they don't. Never take is personally. Always remember our emotions are definitely important in interacting with a cat. SO if we get too excited it can be viewed as a potential threat. Calm and confident is really important so as not to "shock" a cat or cause any worry about a change in behavior.

That is GREAT that she is starting to play. play is going to be a big part in building her confidence. It is normal that she doesn't play all the time and doesn't always find the same toy interesting. Make sure you make the toy act like prey. A mouse, a bird, etc. Think of how a prey animal would move. Halting movements. Get the cat to stalk it then pounce then repeat.

Cats can be fickle so some days they don't like things or choose other options. I think it is good that she feels comfortable in multiple places. I do think she will get into more of a routine (at least with regard to sleeping and hanging out places) at some point.

xcourtney3 does bring up a good point. A vet visit to look into that is a good idea just in case.

It is still early in the behavioral adjustment so we still have time to assess what is going on. Dont't worry, we will figure this out.

 

[katieloo]

I do think you cannot know in just a matter of a few days or a week or two. It can take weeks or longer for a cat to adjust, especially if she has had a tough past.

Her behavior sounds to me like she is unsure about trusting. She goes back and forth between trusting completely and being loving, and then she gets scared and keeps her distance or lashes out.

I think if you give her time, she will be a really wonderful and loving companion. But it will take a little time.

Also, I'm not sure the specifics of the bite episode. My favorite cat who passed a few months ago would grab my hand and give it a good bite if i patted him too long or went in for the belly rub at the wrong time. Honestly, it did not phase me at all. I'd walk away like "Fine!" but it was how he communicated and I loved every little thing about that little dude. His pushiness was part of his charm.

 

[Kenziekittylover17]

There is definitely a big difference between when she is loving and rubbing and will give little love nips and the times she has lashed out. When she bites lightly she's purring and seems content and I don't mind, although my boyfriend is now terrified she's going to bite him again and he's being quite dramatic if I'm being honest. He's really reserved when he pets her and at the slightest odd movement he jumps and makes her get down. She doesn't act different towards me because I don't act scared of her all the time but I can tell she's a little timid around him.

The last time she tried seriously biting me when I had just gotten home I was sitting on the couch doing homework after I had finished unpacking and she was sitting on my lap like she usually does. Maybe it was he extra commotion of me coming home or something but the setting was no different than how it usually is. I must have leaned forward a little or something and she grabbed my arm and went to bite again and I yelled NO and she kind of put her mouth around my wrist and just glared at my but she didn't bite me so hard like tha first time. And then she let go and hopped down and five minutes later she was back and fine and purring again.

We've had no issues since, Hunter swears she lunged at him the second I walked out of the room the other day, but I don't believe it lol. I think he is just in edge and needs time to chill out too. When she bit him it was like your typical medium level cat bite, it broke skin but it didn't bleed that bad and he's not used t anything like that. He's used to my cats at home that he can push off if they're annoying or pet as he pleases so it's hard for him to get adjusted to all these rules I have presented to him with Bella. He was never much on animals let alone a cat person until we started dating. But he loves my cats at home and he really does love Bella too it's just hard for him. The more I've thought about it the more it was probably just as much him as it was Bella when she bit him when I was gone. Since I wasn't there to constantly remind him no don't do *that* or don't touch her now or something of the sort he probably did something to irritate her so she bit him.

I'm going to have to post on a boyfriend forum to see how to change his behavior haha. Thank you all for your continued advice and help. Bella and I really appreciate it.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you for the update.

A few things. It is good that the recent bites weren't that serious. That tells me that she knows what he is doing and "holds back" meaning she doesn't seem to want to hurt you.

Our emotions are incredibly important. I have witnessed this first hand especially dealing with ferals and have witnessed it with people new to feral TNR. Cats can sense when something is "different" or "wrong". And their survival instinct gets heightened. IN the wild cats get ambushed, attacked, etc from the ground, from behind, from the air (hawks) and they can sense things (in sight, scent, and emotion). It is really hard to explain. So if I make abnormal movements or stare at a new feral they will act totally different (and scarier) then if I am calm and not focused on them and not worried they will attack me. In my experience cats only attack if they feel threatened and cornered (no escape). And usually there is a warning (a hiss) and typically they will run rather than attack. But my emotions and my body language and my way of interacting is incredibly influential.

I know it is hard when a person is honestly cautious or on alert. Worried about being hurt. My advice usually is act calm and cool and confident, don't make any movements towards the cat or anything that could be misinterpreted as being "aggressive" or "confrontational". Make sure that the cat is not in a compromising position or "cornered". Don't stare at the cat or be "above" the cat looking down. I am not saying be a prisoner in your own house but just act normal and give the cat space.

Now for your encounter. Sometimes cats on laps can feel "cornered" even though it is not exactly accurate. They are cuddled in the lap and comfortable and of course warm and sometimes they don't like being bothered. A movement can startle or aggravate (unfairly but they are cats). And there could have been some stress from just coming home from a trip, being busy with studying or work etc. And Bella might have had a history of being hit or something as well. Associating a movement of the hand/arm as an aggressive movement.

Also be careful not to overstimulate her. I am not sure if that was a cause of the latest incident (it doesn't sound like it) but it can happen for some cats very easily.

Also, try to remember where your body touched her. It could be a nerve issue or other sensitivity that gets activated causing discomfort or pain or stimuli.

Also, try to remember if your hand or arm was in her sight before she tried to bite. Or if it was a reaction with a twisting head and biting anything in her way.

But I am glad that she realized what she was doing and chose not to cause harm. I think that is a positive.

I do want to keep trying to associate hands and arms with positive things like food. We want to build that positive association. And to be very aware of any hand movements that could be mis-interpreted.

Also, continue with the "no" or "ouch" in a calm confident voice but one that expresses displeasure and unhappiness and disappointment. It seems like Bella responded to that which is great and I think we can use that. But make sure it is firm but not anything that could cause her to escalate her stress. (I hope that makes sense).

Finally, keep building confidence through play and food. Make sure she has comfy places to hang out (bedding, cat trees, hideaways) and scratching posts to "own". Stay calm and confident and let her know she is loved but watch your movements and any potential overstimulation etc.

There is a lot here so please ask any questions. It sounds like you are making progress. Any information you can share will probably be helpful.

Thank YOU for all your are doing to give Bella a great home.