1 Year Old Cat Won't Cuddle, And Is Really Aggressive- I Need Some Insight

[Penny's mommy]

Hello community,
I rescued Penny when she was 2 weeks old, and we have a very deep bond. She just turned 1 year old, and for a while now (quite a few months) she won't cuddle, she won't go in my lap or even on my bed if I am on it. She follows me around everywhere, to the bathroom, up and down the stairs, but she absolutely won't cuddle with me. As a kitten she was cuddly but at about 4 months old she got less and less cuddly and now I'm here, where not only is she anti-cuddly, but if I try to pet her she automatically bites me, hard! It's not a petting induced aggression, because she is already aggressive before I can even pet her. She gets so angry and her ears go back and she growls and draws blood if I try to pet her more than a quick scratch on her head. She lays on her back and trills like she wants a belly rub but when I go to pet her she grabs my hand and chomps down. She won't let me pick her up or pet her, but she follows me around all day long?! I attempt to hold her in my lap, even when she's tired and ready to nap, and she won't sit in my lap and ends up swatting me in the face and usually bites my nose. I don't understand, and I am sad because I haven't held my kitty in my lap in months :'( she's never slept on my bed, and for about 7 months I haven't been able to just cuddle with her or pet her. I'm at a loss and I'm finally reaching out for help because everyone keeps telling me how mean my cat is and no one likes her, not even cat-people... Does anybody have any idea why she could be acting this way?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Just to check, have you had her in to the vet?
You could try changing your deodorant, shampoo, laundry detergent, in other words make everything about you smell different.
In addition, pick up a calming product spray and spray your clothing.
You could try a diffuser but this seems to be centered on you...?

Why are other people saying she's mean? Are you telling people about her or are they also having interactions with her? Why do people not like her? Can you keep these people away from her, those bad vibes aren't good for her.

And the main thing, for now stop trying to pet her, don't pick her up, don't try to snuggle.
Something is going on, and she needs to be allowed to work things out.

 

[Penny's mommy]

Hi!
Just to check, have you had her in to the vet?
You could try changing your deodorant, shampoo, laundry detergent, in other words make everything about you smell different.
In addition, pick up a calming product spray and spray your clothing.
You could try a diffuser but this seems to be centered on you...?

Why are other people saying she's mean? Are you telling people about her or are they also having interactions with her? Why do people not like her? Can you keep these people away from her, those bad vibes aren't good for her.

And the main thing, for now stop trying to pet her, don't pick her up, don't try to snuggle.
Something is going on, and she needs to be allowed to work things out.

Hi, and thank you for responding. I took her to the vet recently, definitely after her behavior problems started, everything's fine. I currently live with my parents and two brothers because I am on a really intense course to finish my Master's in half the time and I just can't work enough to support myself. My family loves Penny so much, my parents call her their granddaughter and they love having her around, but they do recognize she is a pretty mean cat. All of my friends who have met her say she's mean and they always see my arms scratched up. I honestly do not have people over much because I'm so busy but I'll try to keep them away from Penny. Most people don't like her because she'll get on her back like I mentioned and chirps and trills until you pet her, then when people go to pet her she bites them. I don't let people pet her anymore. And no this behavior is not just directed at me, it's towards everyone. I think I'm most stumped because I know she really loves me because she's always by my side, and she's otherwise a really behaved cat. No accidents, she is crate trained, leash trained, and she sits, high fives, gives me kisses (the only sign of affection she'll give me), and lays down on command. She loves to adventure with me and goes everywhere with me, she's just really aggressive, bites incredibly hard, and won't cuddle :/

 

[lutece]

Is she spayed yet? Maybe I missed that in your post.

 

[Penny's mommy]

Is she spayed yet? Maybe I missed that in your post.

Hi, yes she is!

 

[danteshuman]

Hmmmm I think this may be a miscommunication between Penny and you. When a cat rolls on their belly or side I read it as a invitation to play. That or if they are rolling around on their back, they are in heat. I would ignore your cat or get a toy (on a wand) and play with her. At that age your cat needs to play morning and night for 15-20 minutes.

About the lack of cuddles, I would not pet her in any way. Or try to cuddle her. Give it a try for two weeks. When my cat Dante was a kitten he hated cuddles. So I would play with him until he seas tired, give him a quick scratch, then play with him some more. Also I did not put him in my lap or hold him. However if any of my cats got on my lap I gave them at least 15 minutes on my lap. My boys have learned a blanket on my lap = long cuddle time.
Lastly if you play with her when she gets hyper and stop petting her for a couple of weeks and she is still aggressive you may need to play with her 4 times a day. You basically have a hyper teenager cat.

 

[Penny's mommy]

Hmmmm I think this may be a miscommunication between Penny and you. When a cat rolls on their belly or side I read it as a invitation to play. That or if they are rolling around on their back, they are in heat. I would ignore your cat or get a toy (on a wand) and play with her. At that age your cat needs to play morning and night for 15-20 minutes.

About the lack of cuddles, I would not pet her in any way. Or try to cuddle her. Give it a try for two weeks. When my cat Dante was a kitten he hated cuddles. So I would play with him until he seas tired, give him a quick scratch, then play with him some more. Also I did not put him in my lap or hold him. However if any of my cats got on my lap I gave them at least 15 minutes on my lap. My boys have learned a blanket on my lap = long cuddle time.
Lastly if you play with her when she gets hyper and stop petting her for a couple of weeks and she is still aggressive you may need to play with her 4 times a day. You basically have a hyper teenager cat.

Can cats go into heat or like pseudo heat when they are spayed? Because shes spayee but she gets on her back a lot. So she's just hyper and uses her energy to bite me? I'll try to play with her more and get her energy out. Also I will try to walk her more. Also, I'm a little confused, if I don't pick her up and cuddle is it so she will miss it and initiate it? If not then what is the reasoning behind it? Sorry I just want to understand Penny better. Thank you!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Congrats and good on you for all you're doing re school!!
Well, ignoring her when she rolls on her back is basically for you to not see that as an invitation for anything. Just don't do anything, literally, with your hands or voice, and better, walk away.
And you want to avoid getting bitten and scratched, so you don't want to initiate anything with her where that will happen. Seriously, because you could end up in the hospital if an infection occurs.

Not cuddling for a couple weeks hopefully rewires her brain, but it might not. If it doesn't and you get scratched or bitten, you need to act exactly as her mama would, and HISS at her.

Have a toy handy, so that instead of grabbing your hand, she ends up grabbing the toy. Hands and arms and most especially your face are off limits for teeth and claws. (I nearly got bitten in an eye one time. It scared the daylights out of both me and the cat, because his teeth hit my eyeglasses). He never tried to bite again except for fake bites --where he's telling me ok, enough with the grooming!, so, in that case hitting the eyeglasses worked to teach him.

With your baby, in my opinion she simply has developed bad manners, and a hiss is something she will understand.

 

[Hellenww]

I agree with danteshuman and Furballsmom that it is a miscommunication. If she hasn't been around other cats then she hasn't learned proper play etiquette. She's probably trying to play with humans the way she would play with other cats and has no idea biting hurts.

At a yr old she's right in the middle of the ornery teen months. So full of energy and always ready for a fun fight. Get a kickeroo or other stuffed animal she can wrestle with when she rolls over and wants to play.

Since your family loves her get them involved in playing with string toys, fetch, and maybe your brothers would enjoy getting her to chase them around the house with a string toy. Ask everybody to do the high pitched "OWW" or hiss if she gets aggressive towards people instead of toys.

At her age she's still all about the play. As she matures she'll probably want more cuddles.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi again...I know, you just warned everybody off, but in your baby's case, if you follow Hellenww 's advice she'll be a happier cat, and sometimes it really does take a village ok, household, to help a kitty

 

[Kal_shadowsmom]

I agree with danteshuman and Furballsmom that it is a miscommunication. If she hasn't been around other cats then she hasn't learned proper play etiquette. She's probably trying to play with humans the way she would play with other cats and has no idea biting hurts.

This was my thought when reading this too.

She doesn't understand that shes hurting you. Cats play rough. When my cat would bite or grasp my hand too hard with claws,(or dads hands) we got into the habit of saying "OW!" and she would loosen up and lick instead of bite.

And don't worry about the cuddling, when shes gotten out of her rebellious teenage years, she will want cuddles again.