Geoffrey Small Cell Lymphoma

[Jcatbird]

You know there is a grapevine on TCS. Sometimes it takes time to spread the word but we all want updates and we are all here for you and Geoffrey. Word came to me through that grapevine and I am sorry to be so late finding this. Never sell a cat short. They have amazing staying power as long as the love is there and we know there are bucket loads of love present and more coming from all of us! Sending bucket loads of love from a lot of fur babies and their hooman here.

 

[artiemom]

You know there is a grapevine on TCS. Sometimes it takes time to spread the word but we all want updates and we are all here for you and Geoffrey. Word came to me through that grapevine and I am sorry to be so late finding this. Never sell a cat short. They have amazing staying power as long as the love is there and we know there are bucket loads of love present and more coming from all of us! Sending bucket loads of love from a lot of fur babies and their hooman here.

No, I was never aware of a back door 'grapevine'.... Thanks for telling me about it..
So that is why I am getting messages!!
Seriously, I appreciate all of you. I really do.. and I cannot express how much I appreciate and love the fact that TCS is allowing me to vent.

I hope some good comes out of this; what I think may be a long thread. I will try not to make ti as long as Artie's.
I hope someone can learn, or come to terms, understanding about how things affect a caregiver; and, possibly gain more insight into treating an ill kitty; perhaps making it better for them. To know that they are not alone.. as I never feel alone, on TCS.. I have many friends here.

Thank you to everyone! I mean it...

 

[CL56]

artiemom
I don't post much - just wanted to let you know that I am here following along and sending positive vibes.

 

[tarasgirl06]

No, I was never aware of a back door 'grapevine'.... Thanks for telling me about it..
So that is why I am getting messages!!
Seriously, I appreciate all of you. I really do.. and I cannot express how much I appreciate and love the fact that TCS is allowing me to vent.

I hope some good comes out of this; what I think may be a long thread. I will try not to make ti as long as Artie's.
I hope someone can learn, or come to terms, understanding about how things affect a caregiver; and, possibly gain more insight into treating an ill kitty; perhaps making it better for them. To know that they are not alone.. as I never feel alone, on TCS.. I have many friends here.

Thank you to everyone! I mean it...

Many, if not all of us can certainly learn one thing from this thread: to give back the unconditional loyalty and love our cats give us, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for life. That is a VERY important and valuable lesson.

 

[iPappy]

Many, if not all of us can certainly learn one thing from this thread: to give back the unconditional loyalty and love our cats give us, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for life. That is a VERY important and valuable lesson.

Since my dogs diagnosis I've read an embarrassing amount of threads on various pet forums about cancer and his cancer in general. Even if they're old and most of the members no longer sign on, it's a little grounding to read it from someone else because you just know you're experiencing that same emotional roller coaster that they did/are. As much as we'd never wish those feelings on others, knowing others have felt those feelings of desperation, confusion, anxiety and sadness is good as we don't feel quite so alone.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Since my dogs diagnosis I've read an embarrassing amount of threads on various pet forums about cancer and his cancer in general. Even if they're old and most of the members no longer sign on, it's a little grounding to read it from someone else because you just know you're experiencing that same emotional roller coaster that they did/are. As much as we'd never wish those feelings on others, knowing others have felt those feelings of desperation, confusion, anxiety and sadness is good as we don't feel quite so alone.

It may be helpful for some people and not for others. It's something to weigh, for anyone facing the situation.

 

[Jcatbird]

You are doing far more than venting. You are educating. You are sharing. Thank you. We learn from each other. Isn’t that why we all came to TCS in the beginning?
One of the great things about TCS is how much people here care about each other and all the kitties here. If someone has any issue at all, others try to gather help for that person. It is sort of a grapevine and all those who see or hear, care about you and about Geoffrey. The love gathers around you both.

 

[artiemom]

Geoffrey Bronchitis update: He is doing so much better! His voice is slowly returning; he is asking for brushing; and the cough, sneezes have really subsided!! No fever! Wants cuddles.. not calling me, as of yet.. but he did roll over on his back for pets...

Honestly, if not for the SCL biopsy results, you would never know he was sick.. so strange.. Only goes to show you, If you have a cat with continued vomiting--6-8 times a month---run to do a biopsy.

The other "Group" discontinued my membership! as in 'requested' by member.. ridiculous.Kind of upset about that. It only goes to show me that this was NOT a forum for me. They never posted anything about Geoffrey. I sent in a post, but it was NOT within THEIR guidelines. It was not EXACTLY what they require. So, I do not have access to 'information'.. ridiculous!

Anyway, I am not impressed by the owner of it. She may be a member here, but, she was very demanding to me; in our emails. I found the requirements to be very strange. They required all of Geoffreys records, before I was fully accepted. That is strange. I was not asking for medical advice; I was looking for support.. There is a huge difference. It was my way or the highway.. I do not feel comfortable about her diagnosing and treating cats over the internet.

There was a lot of information; however, the way the group ran.. it bothered me.. I guess as a former medical person, I have learned everyone is different.. there are many variables in treatment options. You have to find a 'team' of doctors and trust them. I guess living in a major medical area, I am prejudiced about this. I never felt internet diagnosing, is legit.

I felt they were there to diagnose, prescribe--not so much as support...Internet prescribing, is dangerous, and anyone who does so, is questionable to me.. even if they say they have a "Veterinarian Advisor" on board.. not a good practice of medicine.

Yes, there are some good files, and some good information, but...
I guess it would be good for someone who is not fully trusting in their team; having doubts, or are living some place where there is not many vets or even good vets...

Off my soapbox.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Geoffrey Bronchitis update: He is doing so much better! His voice is slowly returning; he is asking for brushing; and the cough, sneezes have really subsided!! No fever! Wants cuddles.. not calling me, as of yet.. but he did roll over on his back for pets...

Honestly, if not for the SCL biopsy results, you would never know he was sick.. so strange.. Only goes to show you, If you have a cat with continued vomiting--6-8 times a month---run to do a biopsy.

The other "Group" discontinued my membership! as in 'requested' by member.. ridiculous.Kind of upset about that. It only goes to show me that this was NOT a forum for me. They never posted anything about Geoffrey. I sent in a post, but it was NOT within THEIR guidelines. It was not EXACTLY what they require. So, I do not have access to 'information'.. ridiculous!

Anyway, I am not impressed by the owner of it. She may be a member here, but, she was very demanding to me; in our emails. I found the requirements to be very strange. They required all of Geoffreys records, before I was fully accepted. That is strange. I was not asking for medical advice; I was looking for support.. There is a huge difference. It was my way or the highway.. I do not feel comfortable about her diagnosing and treating cats over the internet.

There was a lot of information; however, the way the group ran.. it bothered me.. I guess as a former medical person, I have learned everyone is different.. there are many variables in treatment options. You have to find a 'team' of doctors and trust them. I guess living in a major medical area, I am prejudiced about this. I never felt internet diagnosing, is legit.

I felt they were there to diagnose, prescribe--not so much as support...Internet prescribing, is dangerous, and anyone who does so, is questionable to me.. even if they say they have a "Veterinarian Advisor" on board.. not a good practice of medicine.

Yes, there are some good files, and some good information, but...
I guess it would be good for someone who is not fully trusting in their team; having doubts, or are living some place where there is not many vets or even good vets...

Off my soapbox.

SO good to read the latest good news about Geoffrey! Yes, it seems as though you have found a very good care team for him. May they continue to provide him the best care, and may he continue to improve and to thrive!

 

[Jcatbird]

I’m so sorry about all the stress you have experienced. In spite of everything, you are holding strong and the good news is that Geoffrey is feeling good! Brushing, petting and rolling over? That’s such a relief!
Dear Geoffrey! I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better!

 

[neely]

You have to find a 'team' of doctors and trust them.

You hit the nail on the head, (so to speak). In all my years sharing our home with cats and dogs I've always felt this was not only essential but critical in getting the best care for your pet(s). Dr. B. has been a God send both for Artie and Geoffrey. In reading your many posts and information this comes through loud and clear. I know how much you trust him and I'm extremely thankful Geoffie is feeling better, e.g. wanting to be brushed, coming for cuddles plus the cough and sneeze has subsided.

TCS is a gem. It not only has knowledgeable members but caring and compassionate members. Please consider yourself as one of those many supportive members.

 

[artiemom]

Just feeling a bit dejected/upset/depressed/down: Geoffrey had a huge vomit. The good thing, it was right in his litter box!! He had peed, and then turned around in it to vomit. On the second upchuck, he wanted to do it on the floor, but I put his from paws int eh litter; put my hands on both sides of him, and kept the upchuck in the litter box..

**A good thing ~~~~ I was supposed to dump and clean the litter box, today or tomorrow. I was going to do it tomorrow afternoon; but, had to do it late this afternoon... not my idea of timing, but it worked out ok...It was a very quick dump and clean. Geoffrey was there, watching me, which is unusual.. so I was fast and not a meticulous as I usually are..
Thinking of getting a second litter box... but I have absolutely no room for it. His litter box is in the bathroom. I have not room for another one.. no place at all.. dam..Not even in a closet.. dam this place.. so tiny...

Poor thing.. He kept looking at me.. with really sad eyes.. Geoffrey was on top of my bed looking at me with very wide eyes, (with nice and clean bedspread--washed this afternoon--no bronchitis gems): As if to say: "Mama, I'm sorry"..... It really broke my heart. I kept telling him: "Monkey, It's ok.. You can't help it--You're sick: honey bunny" "I Love you". I really do love him.. He breaks my heart..now that I know his diagnosis... so intense

My poor little boy..

I kind of suspected; had an intuition of this vomiting episode. Geoffrey is about 95% normal from the bronchitis. He was vigorously brushing himself today.. making up for lost time--- and really asking for brushing. This morning, before I got out of bed, I thought: "He's grooming a lot... maybe a vomit today??".... guess I was right.

Now, I have to bug him for the second dose of Doxy.. dam

Yes, devastated.. and really down.. I think I am down more than devastated.. It is really hard being a caregiver to a beloved baby, whom you know is so sick... Cancer or Lymphoma is not something you can brush off...... especially when you have your own issues.. I keep thinking of Geoffrey.. Is is in pain? he is so complicated.. Is this delay in chemo hurting him? I know I was responsible for his bronchitis-- aspiration bronchitis--from forcing him to take the Chemo...Can I honestly deal with this?? I do not know if I can go thoughts this again... after Artie..
I guess this is caregiver burnout --which is happening very early. I need to be strong.. Should I fight for Geoffrey? After all I did for Artie--- I did go a bit too far.. I am feeling sorry for myself, but I feel as if I have been through so much.-- I do not feel this is fair..
I guess Life is not Fair.. Geoffrey and I have been together since November of 2019--not very long-- 3.5 years---not very long... Artie, I adopted in 2012-- he passed on 2018.. I adopted Geoffrey 6 months after Artie.

I feel cheated.. I did so much for Artie.. and now I have to relive--go through it again with Geoffrey .. Why??? Why?? My kitty.. In needed a healthy kitty.. but. I now have a cat with small Cell lymphoma,.. No.. It feels like a nightmare...It feel as if I am constantly reliving a nightmare..

Beginning to think that God does not want me to have a cat.. I love them, I feel as if I can bond with them, But God does not want to give me a healthy cat..

enough.. venting..

I hope someone--in the future can understand these feelings--realizing they are not alone with how they feel..


Just having a down time...

 

[Jcatbird]

I think many here, including myself, will understand. I had not planned to be on site right now because of Banjo but then I saw your post. Hugging. May I say that I think God does want you to have a cat. That cat. You gave so much to Artie that God knows Geoffrey will get the strongest love from you. I lost two last year. Now I have an unknown to deal with. I know how this might feel to you. I can only Offer to send all good hopes and energy your way. We do get tired and we do have to try and just wait. We can’t know for sure. He groomed and the fur caused that. The cats seem to be shedding a lot this year here. Now he has gotten it out. We can look for a better day tomorrow. Hugs sent and hope for Geoffrey to feel much better now.

 

[daftcat75]

I can relate to that so much. Betty was supposed to give me a few or several easy, healthy years after all I went through with Krista in her last few years. Nope. That didn't work out as planned. It feels like we're going down the same roads.

Even if you don't have space for an extra litterbox, I buy a duplicate of the same single litterbox I have out for Betty. Because it is a duplicate of a simple box (no Litter Maids or Robots here), I park it--clean and empty--right underneath the working box. Then when it's time to change the box, I simply separate the duplicate, fill it, and replace the working box. Then I can clean the previous working box (now the dirty) on my own time without ever taking Betty's bathroom out of service.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Just feeling a bit dejected/upset/depressed/down: Geoffrey had a huge vomit. The good thing, it was right in his litter box!! He had peed, and then turned around in it to vomit. On the second upchuck, he wanted to do it on the floor, but I put his from paws int eh litter; put my hands on both sides of him, and kept the upchuck in the litter box..

**A good thing ~~~~ I was supposed to dump and clean the litter box, today or tomorrow. I was going to do it tomorrow afternoon; but, had to do it late this afternoon... not my idea of timing, but it worked out ok...It was a very quick dump and clean. Geoffrey was there, watching me, which is unusual.. so I was fast and not a meticulous as I usually are..
Thinking of getting a second litter box... but I have absolutely no room for it. His litter box is in the bathroom. I have not room for another one.. no place at all.. dam..Not even in a closet.. dam this place.. so tiny...

Poor thing.. He kept looking at me.. with really sad eyes.. Geoffrey was on top of my bed looking at me with very wide eyes, (with nice and clean bedspread--washed this afternoon--no bronchitis gems): As if to say: "Mama, I'm sorry"..... It really broke my heart. I kept telling him: "Monkey, It's ok.. You can't help it--You're sick: honey bunny" "I Love you". I really do love him.. He breaks my heart..now that I know his diagnosis... so intense

My poor little boy..

I kind of suspected; had an intuition of this vomiting episode. Geoffrey is about 95% normal from the bronchitis. He was vigorously brushing himself today.. making up for lost time--- and really asking for brushing. This morning, before I got out of bed, I thought: "He's grooming a lot... maybe a vomit today??".... guess I was right.

Now, I have to bug him for the second dose of Doxy.. dam

Yes, devastated.. and really down.. I think I am down more than devastated.. It is really hard being a caregiver to a beloved baby, whom you know is so sick... Cancer or Lymphoma is not something you can brush off...... especially when you have your own issues.. I keep thinking of Geoffrey.. Is is in pain? he is so complicated.. Is this delay in chemo hurting him? I know I was responsible for his bronchitis-- aspiration bronchitis--from forcing him to take the Chemo...Can I honestly deal with this?? I do not know if I can go thoughts this again... after Artie..
I guess this is caregiver burnout --which is happening very early. I need to be strong.. Should I fight for Geoffrey? After all I did for Artie--- I did go a bit too far.. I am feeling sorry for myself, but I feel as if I have been through so much.-- I do not feel this is fair..
I guess Life is not Fair.. Geoffrey and I have been together since November of 2019--not very long-- 3.5 years---not very long... Artie, I adopted in 2012-- he passed on 2018.. I adopted Geoffrey 6 months after Artie.

I feel cheated.. I did so much for Artie.. and now I have to relive--go through it again with Geoffrey .. Why??? Why?? My kitty.. In needed a healthy kitty.. but. I now have a cat with small Cell lymphoma,.. No.. It feels like a nightmare...It feel as if I am constantly reliving a nightmare..

Beginning to think that God does not want me to have a cat.. I love them, I feel as if I can bond with them, But God does not want to give me a healthy cat..

enough.. venting..

I hope someone--in the future can understand these feelings--realizing they are not alone with how they feel..


Just having a down time...

We hurt more when a loved one is hurting than we would for ourselves. It's one thing to be sick ourselves -- we can make decisions on what to do about it and since it is happening to us, we know how it feels. We can't truly know how it feels for a loved one, and it's awful not knowing, having to guess what is best for them...how well I know.
I don't think "god does not want to give me a healthy cat" at all. It is no one's fault that Geoffrey is ill, and it is certainly not to punish you! or him. Our loved ones come into our lives and give us so much. We would never wish any kind of negativity on those we love, and we do not know why these things happen to those we love. But every moment we share with them is a treasured moment. Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. That's the true meaning of unconditional love. They give it to us 24/7-365. We hopefully give it back to them.
I have experienced many, many losses, from various causes. All of them leave indelible scars on me. But I would not trade the time with them for anything.
Absolutely!!! you should fight for Geoffrey. He is your beloved little man. He looks to you for this. You know you will be here for him in his time of need. The love he gives you is incomparable and irreplaceable. Each of our loved ones gives us treasures.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I can relate to that so much. Betty was supposed to give me a few or several easy, healthy years after all I went through with Krista in her last few years. Nope. That didn't work out as planned. It feels like we're going down the same roads.

Even if you don't have space for an extra litterbox, I buy a duplicate of the same single litterbox I have out for Betty. Because it is a duplicate of a simple box (no Litter Maids or Robots here), I park it--clean and empty--right underneath the working box. Then when it's time to change the box, I simply separate the duplicate, fill it, and replace the working box. Then I can clean the previous working box (now the dirty) on my own time without ever taking Betty's bathroom out of service.

EXCELLENT idea.

 

[Margot Lane]

Personally I think it’s worth the fight, but only you know in your deep soul the right path to take. I remember feeling exactly like you when I first received Zorro’s small cell diagnosis, but we are still here, and he still seems to me -being as objective as I can- to have good quality of life. It comes down I think to this: Geoffrey’s health, your own emotional & physical well-being, and then just finances. If you can bear to step back and just write out a list to yourself based on these categories, it might be calming, and help you to forge ahead, feeling good about the choices you make (or as good as you can be!). Remember, if you can do something healthy or nice for yourself, it will help you to be there for him too. (Whether that’s yoga, or a health drink, meditation, or whatever speaks to you). I also think that beyond all of these categories, there is just a deep, instinctive quiver that runs through you both, and Geoffrey will tell you when it may be time. If he’s able to jump up onto a bed and look at you, and his weight isn’t terrible…sounds to me if he still has stamina, but I’m not a vet, just someone who cares about both of you.

 

[iPappy]

It's OK to feel down. There's nothing wrong about that in this situation.
I think God does want you to have a cat. Your being this cats owner is no accident. You're practicing good stewardship here.... not always easy to deal with but it's a very powerful gift. Pray over him, pray over his medication, pray over his food.
It's a difficult rollercoaster but remember you can't pour from an empty cup. Remember to take care of yourself, too.

 

[artiemom]

This is Geoffrey's last day on Doxycycline! He is just about recovered! Only occasional sneezing.. Hooray!
I did order the probiotic Proviable DC earlier in the week, without Dr B telling me to do so. His stools were getting very soft.
I think it has helped. Dr B said to continue with it.

He returns to his Chemo and Prednisolone dosing, on Monday... Fingers crossed.

Yes, he is already afraid of me.. He is very wary of me. I feel really bad; but it is for his own good.

Yesterday and Today, especially today, are really 'off' days for him. I cannot figure what is going on. He is so clingy, so vocal,-- kind of afraid of me.. wants brushing... not eating much.. I am kind of expecting a vomit. I keep looking around the apartment for evidence of one. It is really an 'off' day..

Cleaner comes tomorrow morning.. Do I shut him up in my bedroom? or let him out? Do I put my cleaner's supply bags--plastic-- in my bedroom and lock the door? or try to find some room in my closet for them? Thinking of my closet.
God Bless her--she looks like a bag lady, but cleans incredibly.. had a very hard life..

On top of everything else, the AC in my car died... Yup, leak in the condenser... It was in the garage all day yesterday and today. I got it back, just before 5pm... more money I do not have...

I think I am going to see if I can submit another claim to the insurance company, for his bronchitis. Even a few dollars back is better than none.
I am tired.

 

[fionasmom]

What makes Geoffrey more comfortable when the cleaning lady comes over? Maybe let it be whatever he is used to since there is a lot of change in his life now with the meds.

I have never owned a cat who did not avoid me after as much a one pill. It is for their own good and you need to not let them guilt you into believing that you are the villain.