- Joined
- May 3, 2021
- Messages
- 11
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Hello, I am very stressed by my new fosters!! I am an experienced kitten foster -- I've nursed dozens of litters before and socialized babies in my bathroom. I've moved into a new place and while I don't have the energy for the little ones, I thought I could open up my home to an adult cat that needs space to stretch instead of being cooped in a crate at the shelter or rescue.
The first cat that they gave me was named Fluffy. Fluffy was super sweet but it became very apparent to me that she has separation anxiety. She would cry whenever I was out of sight, even when I was just in the bathroom for a minute. Eventually it got to the point where she would follow me everywhere and meow loudly to divert my attention to her no matter how full my hands were, and she also started knocking over her food bowls because she knew I would come over from whatever I was doing to clean it. I tried hard to not give in, but she was yowling at night for attention despite being spayed -- I timed it one night because I couldn't sleep, and she would yowl for about 15 minutes every hour from when I went to my room (11pm) to when I eventually leave my room (originally 9am but it goes as early at 6am when I just need her to be quiet). Even sleeping on the couch didn't work, since she would yowl for me to wake up and pay attention to her. My neighbor (I'm in an apartment) complained of the noise after a couple of weeks, which I think was very fair of her, if not also very patient considering just how disruptive the cries are. I told the rescue that I was very overwhelmed and asked if they had a more independent kitty I could help out instead.
I'm currently sitting here with the new kitty, whose name is Spots. From the get go, Spots already seems much more independent, but I don't know if that will change over time. She just came today and she doesn't seem to care for me very much, she just plopped on the floor in the opposite corner away from me. Then I went to take a shower, and I hear it -- Spots is crying!!!!!! I went back to the living room and she's sitting there, grooming herself. I thought it was a fluke and went to get dressed in my room, and again, she's crying!!! Now I'm super scared of how vocal she will be when I retire to my bedroom tonight.
I've never dealt with this before. All of the kittens (and their mama cats, for the non-orphan litters) were always cool with chilling in a bathroom with little attention from me. They never cried just because I was out of sight. I don't know what to do, I've already tried to ignore the cries and to not give attention because I know that's what they want, but I've been going two weeks without proper sleep because of Fluffy and promised my neighbor I would get a different foster. I can't let Spots into my bedroom at night because I'm allergic and my allergist strictly requires my room to be cat-free as a refuge from the allergens, and this is a big reason why I foster instead of adopt because fostering lets me keep that distance. I'm very stressed and I don't want to let the rescue group down by returning Spots as well. I make sure there is food and water and that the litter is clean and I play with them a lot before I go to bed. I know it takes time but I'm scared of my neighbors complaining again. I'm also due to return to in person work and would like to be well rested, but I'm also scared that the fosters will cry when I'm out of the apartment and annoy my neighbors even more. Do you have any guidance?
The first cat that they gave me was named Fluffy. Fluffy was super sweet but it became very apparent to me that she has separation anxiety. She would cry whenever I was out of sight, even when I was just in the bathroom for a minute. Eventually it got to the point where she would follow me everywhere and meow loudly to divert my attention to her no matter how full my hands were, and she also started knocking over her food bowls because she knew I would come over from whatever I was doing to clean it. I tried hard to not give in, but she was yowling at night for attention despite being spayed -- I timed it one night because I couldn't sleep, and she would yowl for about 15 minutes every hour from when I went to my room (11pm) to when I eventually leave my room (originally 9am but it goes as early at 6am when I just need her to be quiet). Even sleeping on the couch didn't work, since she would yowl for me to wake up and pay attention to her. My neighbor (I'm in an apartment) complained of the noise after a couple of weeks, which I think was very fair of her, if not also very patient considering just how disruptive the cries are. I told the rescue that I was very overwhelmed and asked if they had a more independent kitty I could help out instead.
I'm currently sitting here with the new kitty, whose name is Spots. From the get go, Spots already seems much more independent, but I don't know if that will change over time. She just came today and she doesn't seem to care for me very much, she just plopped on the floor in the opposite corner away from me. Then I went to take a shower, and I hear it -- Spots is crying!!!!!! I went back to the living room and she's sitting there, grooming herself. I thought it was a fluke and went to get dressed in my room, and again, she's crying!!! Now I'm super scared of how vocal she will be when I retire to my bedroom tonight.
I've never dealt with this before. All of the kittens (and their mama cats, for the non-orphan litters) were always cool with chilling in a bathroom with little attention from me. They never cried just because I was out of sight. I don't know what to do, I've already tried to ignore the cries and to not give attention because I know that's what they want, but I've been going two weeks without proper sleep because of Fluffy and promised my neighbor I would get a different foster. I can't let Spots into my bedroom at night because I'm allergic and my allergist strictly requires my room to be cat-free as a refuge from the allergens, and this is a big reason why I foster instead of adopt because fostering lets me keep that distance. I'm very stressed and I don't want to let the rescue group down by returning Spots as well. I make sure there is food and water and that the litter is clean and I play with them a lot before I go to bed. I know it takes time but I'm scared of my neighbors complaining again. I'm also due to return to in person work and would like to be well rested, but I'm also scared that the fosters will cry when I'm out of the apartment and annoy my neighbors even more. Do you have any guidance?