EXCELLENT post!tarasgirl06 -----"furmily" is my new favorite word!!!!!! Somehow I'd never heard that - - -and I DIG IT - - I snort laughed out loud when I read that!.
Don't think anyone's mentioned this to you yet - - - if they did already - -I apologize for reiterating something already said. But when I saw you're in Queens - - in the middle of the night last night it popped into my head: Mike Phillips. He's an ENORMOUS advocate for TNR, socialization, stray cats - - all of it - - he's a very "cat compassionate" guy. Years ago - - -when I first began doing TNR work, very little was written about TNR/ferals/ferals vs stray/socializing, etc.
Long story short: I ended up in a long, very wonderful, funny, compassionate tip-filled phone conversation with Mr. Phillips!!!!! He now works mostly with two organizations - NYC Feral Cat Initiative of the Mayor's Alliance for NYC's Animals, and the Urban Cat League. My phone chat with him was one of the big factors in my not hiding under the pillow, trying to drown out the sound of un-neutered males mating in my backyard.
So I did a quick search - - and the NYC Feral Cat Initiative (along w/ASPCA) is having a FREE workshop about socializing feral and shy kittens for adoption - - and it's hosted by - - Mike Phillips!!! Even if the subject - the socialization part - - of the workshop isn't where your need is right now - -- attending this could, at the very least, help you connect with people (both individuals and groups) who might be able to help you in a "boots on the ground" way that people like me can't! Link below is for that workshop:
Mayor's Alliance for NYC's Animals, Inc. - Taming Feral Kittens for Adoption (03/13/18)
I'd also highly recommend taking a look at the website for NYC Feral Cat Initiative - - it's got alot of info - - including specific places you can find help and resources right there in NY (no - I'm not a paid spokesperson ). They offer things like workshops about things like bottle-feeding, taming kittens, AND neighborhood relations !!!!! Not to mention free loans of traps, cages, dividers....free transport of cats and traps to and from clinics in your area...AND free community outreach materials (just for "helpful" neighbors!!!!!), and help in the manner of advice, education, and resources through phone and email!!!
About the NYC Feral Cat Initiative
I really hope combining lots of support here on our forum with some "boots on the ground" things offered by places like the others I mentioned will help you find the help that will help YOU feel a little less "trapped!"
Oh, yeah, we cat people have our own vocabulary. When I was born, for instance, my big brofur was 3 and he welcomed me into the furmily.