Younger Cat Is Playing Too Rough

[catmom723]

I have two cats. Fred is 5 and I’ve had him for 4 years, Ralph is 1 and I’ve had him since he was 4 months old. Fred was a semi feral and I think has some PTSD from living outdoors. He’s incredibly skittish and shy, to the point where you can’t even walk in the same direction as him without him getting upset and running away. A common phrase in our house is “everything’s okay Fred, I’m not chasing you”. Ralph I adopted from a shelter where I think he was born and raised. I think he was a bottlefed baby based on his distant personality. The only background I have on him is he was brought to the shelter I got him from after a shelter in a neighboring state became overcrowded. He’s brave, he’s bold, and nothing phases him.

That being said, Ralph plays very rough. Straight to pouncing, biting and chasing. Fred sounds like he’s being murdered every time Ralph tries to play. I’m not sure if it’s in pain or fear or both. I can’t clap my hands or do anything to scare Ralph because I’m afraid of giving Fred a heart attack. It mostly happens in the evenings around bed time and first thing in the morning. I bring Fred into my room at night and he sleeps on his pillow where he knows he’s safe from Ralph. As far as I know Ralph has never seriously injured Fred and vice versa. Fred has never stood up for himself and more or less just takes the abuse. Fred cannot scratch on the tree or dig in the litter box without getting a reaction from Ralph that results in a screaming Fred.

When Ralph is being too rough I pick him up and put him in the bathroom for 10 or so minutes and let him calm down and decompress. But lately by the time I get to them if I’m in another room Ralph makes a run for it and hides under a bed, behind our washer and dryer or somewhere I can’t reach him and he thinks it’s all a big game. Ralph does wear a “calming collar” (he has some other behavioral issues that stem from hyperactive activity) They do play with toys together, they eat together and I find them sleeping near each other or on different levels of the cat tree together. Fred is no longer over grooming or yowling at night because he’s lonely. I think he enjoys the company of another cat, just not the negative attention.

This post got much longer than I wanted it to, thank you for reading the entire thing!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!

Ralph makes a run for it and hides under a bed, behind our washer and dryer or somewhere I can’t reach him and he thinks it’s all a big game.

Goofy Ralph!
There have been a couple of threads where the victim cat was really not doing well at all, which doesn't sound like your situation but not being able to use the litter box without being ambushed isn't good...
Anyway, in those threads I'm thinking of, their idea was to work to help the victim cat become more confident and that seemed to boil down to a lot of interactive playtime, both with the victim cat alone as well as the two cats together.

I'm thinking out loud here, can you add another litter box or two? I'm worried that Fred might be holding his pee and/or poop due to fear of being attacked while he's in the box.

Can you change up your routine in the evenings and the mornings? It sounds like Ralph is possibly overstimulated by anticipation of being fed, or something like that. Maybe free feed some kibble and keep canned food as scheduled meals? ...or he's overstimulated by your family's activities in the evenings and mornings, so maybe designate someone to distract him from Fred by playing with him, with a wand toy, or even a laser light (although I'm not so much a fan of those but Ralph sounds like a high energy cat.)

Speaking of, would you have a way to train Ralph to walk on a harness/leash so you can get him outside for more/other mental stimulation?

One last thought, in the evenings and mornings, and whenever, try playing low volume classical harp music or utilize MusicForCats.com. Music really does work to help cats calm down and this may help Ralph to become a little less of a roughhouzer and you may find that Fred responds as well.

 

[rubysmama]

The situation doesn't sound too bad, except for "Fred cannot scratch on the tree or dig in the litter box without getting a reaction from Ralph that results in a screaming Fred." Especially the litter box part.

How many litter boxes do you have for them. With 2 cats, the recommendation is 1 per cat, plus 1, so in your case that would be 3. And since Ralph reacts when Fred digs in the litter box, that could eventually cause Fred to develop litter box aversion issues. So I would suggest getting at least one more litter box, and putting it in a completely different area from the other one(s). That way Ralph can't be monitoring all the litter boxes at the same time.

 

[catmom723]

I do have 2 litter boxes, I can add another. But I wouldn't say Ralph is "guarding" the boxes, per say. If he hears Fred digging he just runs into the room. I did keep the boxes in a separate rooms but it never made a difference. They're in the same room now because I have a Cat Genie. Since I moved them in together, so far I have not heard Ralph antagonizing Fred in the litter box. Fred still uses the boxes normally, just comes out looking slightly disgusted. I don't think he actually does anything to Fred while he's in the litter box, Fred just likes privacy and Ralph has never learned what privacy means, nor does he have personal space boundaries. I think Ralph is more or less just being nosey, much to everyone's chagrin.

Like I said, I don't *think* Ralph is physically hurting Fred, I think he's just being a nuisance and Fred just isn't interested in playing. They do play for a short time but when Fred is done he's done and doesn't want to be bothered anymore. I cannot supervise them 24/7 and cannot separate Ralph when he didn't catch the hissing memo.

I am thinking about getting Ralph a harness and taking him out into the yard (if it ever stops raining) for some outdoor stimulation. I think it would be good for him and maybe wear out his little brain. He likes toys, but he gets bored easily. I wish they made more "problem solving" toys for cats like they do for dogs. We have Da Bird, a laser pointer, countless stuffed "babies" and battery operated toys. All are fun for 10 minutes and then we're looking for something new.

Thank you both for your replies, I greatly appreciate them!

 

[susanm9006]

Have you tried not doing anything when Fred starts screaming? Fred may build some self confidence by handling Ralph himself, which if he gets annoyed enough he may do. And with Fred being so sensitive to your movement, he may get more nervous because of your involvement. If he is sleeping with Ralph, there is some friendship there, so I don’t think Ralph is terrorizing him. So let it run its course and see what happens.

 

[catmom723]

Have you tried not doing anything when Fred starts screaming? Fred may build some self confidence by handling Ralph himself, which if he gets annoyed enough he may do. And with Fred being so sensitive to your movement, he may get more nervous because of your involvement. If he is sleeping with Ralph, there is some friendship there, so I don’t think Ralph is terrorizing him. So let it run its course and see what happens.

Oh yeah, we’ve tried that. That happens just about every night because I refuse to get out of bed unless things are getting out of hand. This has been ongoing for almost a year. We adopted Ralph last October. We thought it might be a heriarchy thing, but since it’s been going on for this long.....

If I do nothing the screaming gets louder, more violent and Fred ends up in a hissing, running away and eventually he will either start gagging from anxiety or he jumps on the bed and sits on my pillow.

 

[jen]

Have you tried Feliway, calming collars, etc?

 

[catmom723]

Have you tried Feliway, calming collars, etc?

Yes, Ralph wears a calming collar. I have the Feliway multi-Cat I’m just waiting for a new diffuser to come. I’ve used it before and haven’t seen much difference.