Worried about my cat and my new kitten

[Jross]

Hello everyone!

I have been having a frustrating time, losing sleep, and trying to be patient. I really need some good advise other than the same YouTube videos I have been watching. And to be honest, I also need to vent a little lol.

I have a sweet and amazing 7 year old female calico tabby (Munchie). She was a rescue with a history of neglect. She is super loving, lazy, and affectionate with humans. Not so much with other animals, but she has warmed up to some in the past. I have wanted another cat for a while, and was told by my vet and a number of people who work with animals that she would be best suited to a male kitten.

I just adopted a 7 week old male, all black kitten (Salem). I tried the approach of keeping them separated with food on either side of the door, introducing each others' scent, etc. I have also been sleeping on my couch with Munchie so that she does not feel I am taking preference of the new kitten.

He just wants to play with her, but she absolutely hates him. There is the typical growling and hissing, but she arches her back up like she's ready to attack him, or hold her paw up with claws out.

Here are my biggest concerns:

• If I put Salem in a carrier in the middle of the main room, or if he walks around the main room, she ignores him - the only interaction they get is when Salem runs up to her wanting to play, and she gets mad at him, growls, hisses, or tried to slap him with her claws out
• I suspect that Munchie has a poor sense of smell, so there is a chance my efforts to get her used to his scent are futile
• I have my bedroom (~120 sq ft.) set up for Salem with his food, water, litter, a kitten bed, lots of toys, and I come in quite often to feed and play with him - despite this, he cries out a lot wanting out to explore the rest of the apartment, often darts out so I can't catch him, and I hate having to keep him confined/hearing him cry
• I have let them interact face-to-face, but I am always right above them, ready to scoop up Salem at any moment in case Munchie attacks him - it is difficult to give them their natural space to interact when I have to be there on guard
• and my BIGGEST fear - Salem is literally less than a pound and Munchie is 16 lbs - what if she killed him? I would never be able to live with myself

I have only had him for a week so I know I need to be more patient, but I am running on no sleep and so desperate to ensure that Munchie won't seriously harm, or even kill him.

Thank you SO much for taking the time to listen and I appreciate any advice

 

[ArtNJ]

Its weird, but kittens are "new cats" for fear purposes, so this is common, especially with older resident cats. However, kittens are kittens for being attacked purposes, at least generally. So all you really get from the older cat in this situation is hissing, growling, a "get away" swat and sometimes, if you are unlucky, a "get away" charge that is so scary looking that it really complicates things even if there is no actual intent to hurt the kitten. But I do NOT think your older cat wants to kill the kitten. Rather, she wants him to get the hell away from her. Now he is 7 weeks and tiny, so perhaps a get away swat could hurt him. Perhaps a "teach him" pinning (a good thing usually) could hurt him. So don't rush the introduction. Spend 2 or 3 more weeks on an introduction process. Maybe it won't help at all, but it can't hurt and the kitten will be bigger when you get to the "let them work it out" stage. And you may need to let them work it out, even if the older cat is still acting the same. But lets try a few more weeks of a formal introduction while the kitten gets bigger.

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

Now you are having trouble that is common for people in small apartments; I read your post. I just don't have a magic solution for you. Maybe you can't do two more weeks; you can only do what you can do. If that is the case, you are going to need to take a deap breath, and let them work it out while watching. The kitten will get swatted at least once or twice from the sound of it. But they will work it out, and things should get better. Maybe slowly, and maybe not all the way to toleration. I'm definitely not saying don't be watchful, but I read all the posts every day here, and can't recall one where the kitten is actually hurt in this situation beyond an accidental scratch.

Probably some will tell you its important to get playpen or crate or something for a few weeks. I honestly don't know if I would do that, because it doesn't feel nice to do that to a kitten. Knowing what I know, I likely be inclined to supervise heavily but let them be while I can watch. That said, 7 weeks is really young, younger than I've had, and I'd certainly be nervous about it -- maybe the crate is the right solution, I can't say.

 

[rubysmama]

Although it may seem like a week is a long time, in a cat's world, it's not. Cat introductions generally need to be done slowly. Even between adult cats and kittens.

In addition to the TCS article A ArtNJ posted, we also have How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat

It's not uncommon, btw, for an adult cat to be less than impressed with the addition of a new kitten. Some hissing and growling is to be expected, as well some swatting, as the adult cat teaches the kitten cat etiquette. But since Salem is very young, keeping supervised visits is a must, until you are certain Munchie has accepted him.

Watch for any signs of stress with Munchie - not eating, or litter box issues. And watch to ensure Salem doesn't seem scared of Munchie, meaning hiding from her. If he runs from a hiss or swat, but them immediately comes back for more "fun", then that's probably a good sign. You definitely don't want to see fur flying or blood.

Here's a couple more TCS articles that might be helpful.

Stress in Cats – The Ultimate Guide
Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips

Good luck.