Withdrawn cat

[Mimi_Cornish]

Hello everybody.
Joined up as i have no idea where else to ask!
Basically we have a 18month year old Cornish. After lockdown we were concerned she would get lonely as she had been so used to have somebody around.

We introduced a new kitten over 8 days and now they often snuggle up together, she grooms him, they eat together amlnd seem to play a bit of chase and wrestling.

The problem is Mimi just isnt herself anymore, she loved playing, jumping and chasing us round the house. Now she seems so withdrawn from those activities. When we get her favourite toy out, which she usually plays with for hours if we have the energy to keep up, she has a glimmer in her eye but then seems to stay away and wont get involved even gets into the worried pose.

We are extremely upset as she was our little bundle of joy and we love her so much. Can we get her zest back?

They have been living together for 2 weeks, it was an extra 8 days ontop to do the introductions. She is a female he is a male both neutered.

 

[Maurey]

Is she disinterested in play with you, or in general? Behavioural changes like this are often worth taking a cat to the vet over, in case they’re caused by underlying illness.

That said, it could well be that she’s still adapting to a new cat in the household, or feeling a bit insecure.

 

[Mimi_Cornish]

Is she disinterested in play with you, or in general? Behavioural changes like this are often worth taking a cat to the vet over, in case they’re caused by underlying illness.

The only play she seems to do is chase the kitten around.
She is eating well and using her litter tray just fine. She just seems to hold back now with her favourite toys and thats so unlike her. She seems like she wants to but wont.

 

[Maurey]

Have you been paying the new kitten more attention than her recently? Could be that she’s feeling insecure in terms of where she stands with you. I’m going through a bit of a similar thing with my resident cat at the mo, though her reaction isn’t as extreme.

Is she as tactile with you as she used to be, and just avoiding playtime? Perhaps she’s just tuckered out from chasing the kitten so she wants to go at her favourite toy, but doesn’t have the energy for it.

 

[Mimi_Cornish]

She will sit with us and and sleep next to us, also they both follow us round the house, shes still quite nosey, but she isnt as loving since the kitten. She definatley has the energy but is just holding back.

 

[susanm9006]

It is very common when a cat really loves a kitten that the “adults” get temporarily forgotten. Think kid with a fabulous new playmate that they want to be with all the time. This is a far better scenario than the resident cat being miserable that there is a newcomer in the house. Over time the kitten will become less of a novelty and your cat will likely revert to more of their former behavior.

 

[Mimi_Cornish]

It is very common when a cat really loves a kitten that the “adults” get temporarily forgotten. Think kid with a fabulous new playmate that they want to be with all the time. This is a far better scenario than the resident cat being miserable that there is a newcomer in the house. Over time the kitten will become less of a novelty and your cat will likely revert to more of their former behavior.

Thats the thing though, she does seem a bit miserable and withdrawn. She isnt the same cat she was before and honestley its hard to see. We are trying everything we can.

 

[susanm9006]

Eight days really isn’t a long time. Give it a month or two.

 

[Mimi_Cornish]

Eight days really isn’t a long time. Give it a month or two.

It took us 8 days to get them in the same room and friendly.
Its been iver 3 weeks now and she is still quite withdrawn. She has no interest at all in her favourite toys whichshe used to come running for. She often sits in the worried pose and seems so lethargic.

We are really worried about her.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Have you tried temporarily just putting the kitten in another room, so you can see how Mimi is when she is alone with you, without the male kitten around? Does she come out of her shell when that "old dynamic" (of just you and her) happens again? Is the kitten playing with her favorite toys, or does he have toys of his own? Do you set aside separate time to play individually with each of them, or do you always play with them when they are together? Does she still get cuddle time with you, etc.?

She may just be taking a longer time to readjust to the new social dynamics. Sometimes it can just take a while to find out how everyone in the household "fits".

 

[eva21513]

I’m glad I clicked on this thread!! I’m about a week and a half ahead of you with a 2-year-old spayed female and a 4.5-month-old spayed female kitten. My adult, Millie, is also not acting herself. She and the kitten will sleep together, eat together, occasionally groom each other, and sometimes chase, but they won’t play with toys together (or Millie won’t, more accurately). Millie isn’t as affectionate or relaxed, for sure.
How are your two when they play? In my case I think the kitten is too rough with the adult. I’m only one human with two cats and am really struggling and am often upset by the whole situation :/

 

[Mimi_Cornish]

Have you tried temporarily just putting the kitten in another room, so you can see how Mimi is when she is alone with you, without the male kitten around? Does she come out of her shell when that "old dynamic" (of just you and her) happens again? Is the kitten playing with her favorite toys, or does he have toys of his own? Do you set aside separate time to play individually with each of them, or do you always play with them when they are together? Does she still get cuddle time with you, etc.?

She may just be taking a longer time to readjust to the new social dynamics. Sometimes it can just take a while to find out how everyone in the household "fits".

She is still retrained when we separate them and wont play with her favourite toys.
We have seperate toys we use for when they aren't together. She just isnt herself at all and we don't know what to do about it. We feel like we have ruined our older cats life and personality.

 

[Mimi_Cornish]

I’m glad I clicked on this thread!! I’m about a week and a half ahead of you with a 2-year-old spayed female and a 4.5-month-old spayed female kitten. My adult, Millie, is also not acting herself. She and the kitten will sleep together, eat together, occasionally groom each other, and sometimes chase, but they won’t play with toys together (or Millie won’t, more accurately). Millie isn’t as affectionate or relaxed, for sure.
How are your two when they play? In my case I think the kitten is too rough with the adult. I’m only one human with two cats and am really struggling and am often upset by the whole situation :/

Sounds exaclty the same as our situation. We just dont know what to do about it. We are trying everything we can think of but she just seems really withdrawn.

 

[eva21513]

Sounds exaclty the same as our situation. We just dont know what to do about it. We are trying everything we can think of but she just seems really withdrawn.

It’s awful isn’t it? I added a kitten for Millie’s sake too so it’s really really upsetting to see her so out of sorts. I saw a friend a couple of days ago who told me when her family added two kittens (they had a single adult cat) a year ago, it took months for the adult to even sit in the same room as the kittens. Now they play, cuddle, etc...so the fact that both of our original cats will be in the same space as the kittens seems to bode well, I hope. Millie actually initiated play with Maisy quite a bit yesterday so I felt a little better, but she didn’t tire herself out and walked around meowing and carrying her toys around for an hour after I went to bed, poor thing (and god I hope my neighbors slept through it!)