Willy might have cancer / high-grade lymphoma Treatment thread

[tarasgirl06]

Your friend is a real keeper, iPappy . Ascending, passing away, transitioning -- whatever term one chooses -- is not usually easy, no matter what came just prior. It's that "dash" between coming into this life and exiting it, that is most important. Think of all the living beings of any species who never have love, comfort, or joy. OURS DO. OURS HAVE. OURS DID. To everyone hurting from a (temporary) loss, please know this. Cherish each moment with your loved ones. Cherish the memories, however you wish to. Save the mementoes, or not, however you wish. No one can tell you what is "right" for you. Life does not come with a blueprint. It's the LOVE that counts.
I have been present at many homegoings. Some easy, some hard. I was not present at some I yearned to be there for, for THEM, not ever for me. I have stayed with beloved feline loved ones of friends who "could not" do this. I am an extremely emotional, sensitive person; but THEY come first. Always. There are times I weep uncontrollably. There is no "closure." There is only love, and love is eternal.

 

[iPappy]

Your friend is a real keeper, iPappy . Ascending, passing away, transitioning -- whatever term one chooses -- is not usually easy, no matter what came just prior. It's that "dash" between coming into this life and exiting it, that is most important. Think of all the living beings of any species who never have love, comfort, or joy. OURS DO. OURS HAVE. OURS DID. To everyone hurting from a (temporary) loss, please know this. Cherish each moment with your loved ones. Cherish the memories, however you wish to. Save the mementoes, or not, however you wish. No one can tell you what is "right" for you. Life does not come with a blueprint. It's the LOVE that counts.
I have been present at many homegoings. Some easy, some hard. I was not present at some I yearned to be there for, for THEM, not ever for me. I have stayed with beloved feline loved ones of friends who "could not" do this. I am an extremely emotional, sensitive person; but THEY come first. Always. There are times I weep uncontrollably. There is no "closure." There is only love, and love is eternal.

The only closure that comes for me is when I find myself more at peace with their passing, be it peaceful or not. And it's dependent on their situations they were in before they passed. Goofy passed so peacefully with his little head on a pillow laying against my legs it was hard not to be at peace with it, but I still question some decisions I made in those final weeks. Tags passing was as peaceful as a euthanasia could be (aside from his reacting to the prick of the needle by abruptly sitting up. I quieted him and laid him down, and that still bothers me a lot because I wonder if I should have.) Tag did not pass immediately, despite the injection. He wasn't struggling against it, but, he held on for a few more moments than I feel he should have. I worry about that, I question it. So, with those two, I am not 100% there yet. It does take time.
With the others, I feel enough time has passed for me to process my questioning myself and accepting that they were very sick and weren't going to survive with any quality of life intact. With one of my cats (ironically named Willie, who passed in August 2021), he didn't necessarily fight it like you would picture a cat fighting it, but he resisted the effects. Whatever cancer he had was spread to his lungs, and he was working harder to breathe. We never did X-rays but it was assumed by all that the cancer Tag had was spread to his lungs, as his breathing got very bad.
So, he and Tag had the same reaction to the injection with the same basic symptoms, and I am at peace with one, but not the other. The only real difference between those two experiences is time. I am glad cmshap has this thread to review if any worries or doubts set in, because the photos, the vet visits, the notes, ups and downs are all there. Mine have a little journal book (offline) that I sometimes go back and re-read when I find myself doubting my choices, as well as a lot of photos and videos showing the improvements and progression of the cancers. Whenever I read those entries, watch those videos, and see those photos, I'm reminded that we were out of options to help them.

 

[tarasgirl06]

The only closure that comes for me is when I find myself more at peace with their passing, be it peaceful or not. And it's dependent on their situations they were in before they passed. Goofy passed so peacefully with his little head on a pillow laying against my legs it was hard not to be at peace with it, but I still question some decisions I made in those final weeks. Tags passing was as peaceful as a euthanasia could be (aside from his reacting to the prick of the needle by abruptly sitting up. I quieted him and laid him down, and that still bothers me a lot because I wonder if I should have.) Tag did not pass immediately, despite the injection. He wasn't struggling against it, but, he held on for a few more moments than I feel he should have. I worry about that, I question it. So, with those two, I am not 100% there yet. It does take time.
With the others, I feel enough time has passed for me to process my questioning myself and accepting that they were very sick and weren't going to survive with any quality of life intact. With one of my cats (ironically named Willie, who passed in August 2021), he didn't necessarily fight it like you would picture a cat fighting it, but he resisted the effects. Whatever cancer he had was spread to his lungs, and he was working harder to breathe. We never did X-rays but it was assumed by all that the cancer Tag had was spread to his lungs, as his breathing got very bad.
So, he and Tag had the same reaction to the injection with the same basic symptoms, and I am at peace with one, but not the other. The only real difference between those two experiences is time. I am glad cmshap has this thread to review if any worries or doubts set in, because the photos, the vet visits, the notes, ups and downs are all there. Mine have a little journal book (offline) that I sometimes go back and re-read when I find myself doubting my choices, as well as a lot of photos and videos showing the improvements and progression of the cancers. Whenever I read those entries, watch those videos, and see those photos, I'm reminded that we were out of options to help them.

We all leave this earthly existence sometime, and my personal beliefs are that this is a harsh, hard existence, followed either by unconscious sleep or by cognizance of someplace and something MUCH better than this existence.

 

[cmshap]

Update: Preparing final records

I just wanted to add to this post that I have finally obtained all the records from my vet. I now have all of Willy's lifetime records from his general vet, and all records from oncology.

I am currently working on redacting all personal and company information (so I won't be publishing any company info/logos when I post them). They will contain all of Willy's medical data and treatment information.

 

[cmshap]

Just a small mini-update about something else that happened today...

This is not at all an advertisement, or an attempt to sponsor anything. Keep shopping wherever you like to shop. But this really took me by surprise...

I received a flower delivery today. Like a fresh flower delivery from a local shop in Wauwatosa, WI (a suburb of Milwaukee). And it turns out it was from Chewy.

I had canceled an autoship of food/litter, and gave a reason that my pet had passed away.

Putting my cynical hat on... a genius marketing campaign, from whomever thought of it... I am going to be a future customer, for sure. But it's also really nice. I spent a lot of money on Chewy so it's nice that there's some person who is recognizing the humanity in this situation and sending something back.

(In case anyone notices the molecular model under the glass top of my coffee table, yes, it probably looks weird, but it has a meaning to me. I have a few weird but meaningful objects/art pieces in my home.)

 

[IndyJones]

It actualy goes with the vase. Vase looks a bit like a beaker keeping with the theme.

 

[fionasmom]

I personally think that is lovely that Chewy reaches out like that, advertising or not. When my dog died two years ago, they did the same thing because I had also been, I suppose, considered to be a good customer.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Just a small mini-update about something else that happened today...

This is not at all an advertisement, or an attempt to sponsor anything. Keep shopping wherever you like to shop. But this really took me by surprise...

I received a flower delivery today. Like a fresh flower delivery from a local shop in Wauwatosa, WI (a suburb of Milwaukee). And it turns out it was from Chewy.

I had canceled an autoship of food/litter, and gave a reason that my pet had passed away.

Putting my cynical hat on... a genius marketing campaign, from whomever thought of it... I am going to be a future customer, for sure. But it's also really nice. I spent a lot of money on Chewy so it's nice that there's some person who is recognizing the humanity in this situation and sending something back.

(In case anyone notices the molecular model under the glass top of my coffee table, yes, it probably looks weird, but it has a meaning to me. I have a few weird but meaningful objects/art pieces in my home.)

A lot of cat lovers are brilliant creatives and/or sciency types. We like that.
And yes, Chewy does that.
Glad you were able to get all of Willy's paperwork. It belongs to you.

 

[FeralHearts]

cmshap I've been trying for a couple of days to post to you. I don't know what to say. I'm so very sorry Willy is gone. I had hoped so badly for a better outcome for him. My heart breaks for you.

You did everything you could. You were a true blessing and friend to him.

XOXOXOXOXOX

 

[mani]

cmshap has some more medical information which we will add to this thread when it is available.
However, out of respect for Willy, we will now lock this thread.
We followed Willy's journey and feel cmshap's pain at his loss;
it is always so difficult and we offer our heartfelt condolences.

.RIP Willy
....

.