Will My Kitten Ever Trust Me Again?

[Purpleviolet]

Recently got a new kitten as a gift from a rescue center. He is a neutered domestic shorthair and two months old. He was found as a stray.

I loved that my new kitten was very affectionate and sweet. He would jump into my lap and insist on being petted for a long time. He would groom me and often show his belly, or curl up into a little ball in my lap and happily purr with slow blinks. He also followed me everywhere. It was very obvious to me, a new pet owner, that the kitten adored me.

I have never raised an animal, and this is my very first kitten. I admit I’m feeling overwhelmed when it comes to cat discipline. I recently tried teaching him to stay off the dining table, because last time he hopped up there and began eating food off our plates. I first sprayed it with a water bottle (nondiscretely, so it saw me), and when that didn’t work, I tried using a “scary, angry” voice to say no and motioned to the floor, and he not only got the message, he has not jumped onto the table since. Instead, he quietly sits in a chair as we eat like the first time, and he now does this every time we eat; I didn’t expect him to always do that, just wanted him to stay off the tabletop while we eat so he doesn’t disturb guests or eat food that are not good for him.

To be honest. I think i only ended up increasing his fear and aggression, because now he avoids me. He won’t show his belly towards me, and every time I pet him he attacks my fingers.

He will most of the time stop what he is doing when I use my “angry, stern” voice, but I feel like it’s increasing his distrust of me.

Will I ever regain my kittens trust back again? Is it unrealistic to have a well behaved yet loving kitten at this point? I miss him when he was cuddly and sweet.

 

[tinydestroyer]

I've been surifing the behavior modification forums, as I am a first-time cat owner, and I am finding that training cats is very different from training dogs. Many of the articles on here suggest removing yourself, the cat owner, from the "discipline." I hesitate to even use that word, as I also find many articles saying that cats and discipline don't really mix, anyway. Mostly, the idea is to get the cat to find undesireable the behavior you wish them to quit, as if it's their idea. An example is to make sticky or bumpy mats for the counters or table top that you want a cat to stay off of. When the cat jumps up, he will not like the feeling, and decide to get down without being stressed or associating you with the unpleasantness at all. There are tons of more detailed articles here for quitting specific behaviors.
The Dos And Don'ts Of Cat Behavior Modification

Aside from that, I am learning firsthand that kittens go through more aggressive play phases, especially as they hit the "teenage" months. Teaching my kitten to not bite my hands by offering many toy alternatives, and wearing her out before I try and cuddle her, has been really helpful for me. Here's a good article on that:
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats

Good luck!

 

[marvel7703]

There is no guarantee, but I do believe he will trust you again one day. After all, he is still a kitten and is still learning. I would try not to use your angry voice around him for a while though and instead, put all your focus on to loving, petting, and playing with him. Of course, don't allow him on the table or anything after you have already made it clear to him that it is not allowed. I think that will only confuse him more. There just needs to be a balance of making sure he is behaving and loving on him.
But again, I would stay away from using your angry voice for a week or so if you can.
Good luck! I hope I helped at least a little bit. Keep us updated!

 

[danteshuman]

I think you are fine. Also he is probably teething... buy him some chew toys. If he jumps on table, sternly say 'off' and then either gently push him off or pick him up and place him on the ground, then ignore him for a few minutes. Praise him when he sits there. Better yet lock him in a room during meal times for a month or four. Kittens like little kids are hyper little maniacs. It is easier to train them once they are 4-6 months old. Lastly remember 20 good interaction (or at least 10) for every negative interaction. That way he learns you are good. Rarely do I use squirt bottles but if I do I give them a verbal warning, a verbal warning 3-10 more times, a verbal warning with a shake of the squirt bottle, then if they do it again they get wet. With cats it is more effective to prevent the behavior then to correct it, most of the time.

 

[marvel7703]

Yes, this is all true. We have gotten to the points with my cats that if we get the squirt bottle out and they see it, they will immediately stop doing whatever it is they know they aren't supposed to be doing. When they see the bottle now, they know what is means.

 

[burningbright]

Try playing with him with string or use a cat ball to regain his trust.