Will my cat miss me/feel abandoned? Not sure where to post this.

[twigsymommy]

Hi all. Sorry in advance for a long first post.

I am here today with a heavy heart and a question that makes me sad. I have had my fur baby Twigs, who i love more than I could ever love any animal, since he was a very small kitten. Now he is 7 years old, and I am backed into a corner in terms of what to do with him.. It seems my only option is to give him to a friend.

My situation is this: I am marrying a wonderful man next week who is not only allergic to cats, but also has severe asthma that is worsened by the cat, and has been to the hospital a few times with breathing problems since we moved in together. Initially I tried having Twigs live in his own area of the house, but he is so social (more like a dog than a cat in temperament really) that he was miserable alone. So then, I tried giving him a cat door as well, so that he could get some stimulation and socialization outside. That went great for about a year and he loved it. Then two weeks ago he was attacked by a dog and needed surgery. Fortunately, he will survive and is recovering well. But I obviously don't want hm going outside anymore.

I feel like my only options short of endangering my fiance's life are making the cat miserable (isolated) or putting him in harms way (allowing access to the outdoors). I hate even the thought of losing him, but if that's the only way for him to be happy I will do it.

I have a friend who agreed to take him. But here is my question (finally): will he remember me/miss me/ feel that his mommy abandoned him? I feel so heartbroken over the thought of that. But part of me feels like, maybe he wouldn't mind as long as he goes to a loving home? I don't know.. Do cats even feel "abandonment"?

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I just want to give the backstory before I ask about how rehoming will effect my baby.

 

[recomper]

I'm a noob that reads forums, but doesn't have real experience. Older cats do tend to have a harder time adjusting and he will miss you. Just like us, most humans, will adjust and move on. I think cats live more in the present. So maybe he will grieve for a bit then get on with his life. 

In terms of him remembering you, I think he might remember you, if you visit him often.

I read a few other forums in the internet of how an owner that hasn't seen their cat for a more than a year or more. And a few responses says yes and no.

And a few sites out there with articles saying yes and its still under study.

Maybe other posters here can give you their insights with their experiences.

 

[Miriette]

As a fellow asthmatic I totally feel for your (soon-to-be) husband. I'm lucky enough that mine's far better now than it used to be and I can live with two cats mostly okay, but man I feel bad for the guy. That's rough. This isn't really gonna help in the short term, but has he gotten allergy shots? When I was a kid I couldn't even be near most dogs and cats for more than a few minutes without ending up in the hospital half suffocating to death. I still have some issues, but I think the five years of shots (and the daily medication; thanks symbicort) helped. Maybe if you guys have the money and want a pet in the future that might be something to look into?

As for your cat, it honestly depends. He'll certainly be upset for a while, but I don't know to what extent. Some cats get depressed when their owners are away for a while, and some are uneasy for a few days and then bounce right back as long as they get plenty of love from their new people. At the very least I think it'd be worth giving this a shot to see how he adjusts. Maybe it'll go just fine! And even if he's upset for a while, it's probably still better than him being isolated or in danger or having your fiancee potentially be hospitalized. It's a sad option but it's likely the best one you have, and if your friend treats him really well then I can't imagine he'll be depressed for the rest of his life.

 

[pusheen]

He will remember and miss you, but it will be okay. They'll be fond memories and he'll soon realize that he's in a place that is nice, with a person who also cares for him. 

 

[twigsymommy]

Hi all, thank you for the responses. Miriette, my husband has had allergy shots... he used to be MUCH worse and was allergic to everything as a child (grass, mold, etc etc). But it's still bad enough that it's just not right for me to ask him to live with my cat in the house. Especially in the winter if he gets a cold or anything, then even a nebulizer can't help him breathe better and we end up going to the ER.

It is worth noting that my cat is extremely social with anyone, and when he was living outside my neighbors would let him in and feed him sardines and he romped around strangers' houses all the time and loved it (lol). So he's not the type to be totally freaked out/afraid of a new environment. But then again he was always able to come home to me in those scenarios.

I won't be making a final decision until he is fully recovered from the surgery, but just want to think about options.