Will Kitty forget that I betrayed him and cut his nails?

[taty caty]

Hi,

I know that elephants have a very good memory. Now please tell me that cats have the worst memory ever. I need my cat to forget and forgive.

My Lulu is not sitting in my lap any more

That's why.

He used to sit at least once a day, purr and knead.

I seized this chance and tried cutting his nails. I cut  one or two, and then he jumped and ran. I tried the same thing the next day.

On the third day, I had to use another scenario, I had to have someone scruff him, and I did the cutting.

Don;t tell me it is cruel to scruff, when I take him to the groomer, that how they do it, because he will not let them cut his nails.

The only difference now is that I'm the one who is doing the cutting.

Now, cute Lulu is not sitting in my lap any more. I think he feels betrayed. He would still rub my legs and purr.

I'm trying to be nice, give his fish meals and treats, but still not lap-sitting or kneading.

It has been over a week now.  Will my kitty forget what's happened?

 

[stephenq]

My answer is probably.  But you probably went too far with the trimming, and while scruffing works, it is a restraint the cats don't like, and it may be necessary for it to be done in some cats there are alternatives, like using a towel to create a burrito wrap.

Keep being sweet to him, praising him and offering treats.  Try sitting next to him and offering treats at regular intervals through the day and see in the course of the next week or 2 you can coax him onto your lap.

 

[pinkdagger]

I don't think they forget (if you scruff or try to hold him like that again, he'll very likely remember something he doesn't like is coming), but they do eventually get over it.

I totally agree that next time, try alternative methods like the burrito @StephenQ mentioned. When I do my cat's claws, I get a second person to hold her up and just restrain her by putting his hands in front of her chest, and as much as she doesn't like it, she tolerates it and gets a treat immediately after. Instead of letting him run after a few trims, make a treat or something special part of trimming. One or two claws is a good start. If you need to space the trims apart a few days to keep him calm and comfortable, especially if you're just doing it at home, I don't see an issue with that. There's no need to force any stress on him.

Have you seen these tips on getting cats more used to paw-handling? http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-best-take-care-of-cat-claws

 

[fhicat]

He does not feel "betrayed". All he's doing is associating laptime with scruffing. Blunt as I may be, it's your fault. Once, twice, three times. Cats don't forget bad memories (most sentient beings don't; it's how they survive -- by remembering what is bad for them). Now he thinks if he goes on your lap, he's going to get an unpleasant experience of nail trimming.

But it's not unfixable. It is going to take a while to undo that experience, but he can be made to "forget" it. Treats on your lap, praise and playtime near you. Consistent and regular reinforcement will help him remember again that your lap is a fun place to be.

 

[lamiatron]

kitty will forget, give kitty some time!!!!

and scruffing may not be a good idea for your cat, and also repeatedly trying to clip his nails...

try to clip only the front paws if anything, as that is what the cats usually scratch humans with the most : /

this works for me, but i usually carry my kitties like they're babies and just get all four paws in one shot. 

Jet just sits there and takes the abuse

and Charlie yells at me, but also does the same.

They both get treats and praise after i'm done.

try talking to your cat while you're clipping the claws in a calm and soothing tone, that helps a lot with my cats.

FYI i've been clipping my kitties claws since they were 2 and 3 months old, so they're very used to being handled. I can clip the claws myself, and don't need someone else's help. Your cat might be different...but try to get him used to having his paws handled by you, by gently rubbing his paw pads, even if for a few seconds, every day

 

[taty caty]

 
My answer is probably.  But you probably went too far with the trimming, and while scruffing works, it is a restraint the cats don't like, and it may be necessary for it to be done in some cats there are alternatives, like using a towel to create a burrito wrap.

Keep being sweet to him, praising him and offering treats.  Try sitting next to him and offering treats at regular intervals through the day and see in the course of the next week or 2 you can coax him onto your lap.

Thank you. I hope so.

I tried the burrito thing, but he keeps moving violently and gets himself out of it.

Generally, even before this incident, he does not like to be held. He stays for a few seconds and then jumps.

I'm not sure if this is becuase of his nature, or because I adopted him recently. (Back in April). So he was not with me when he was a kitten.

I tried today to sit on the floor and offer the treat. Let's just hope.

Thanks again.

 

[taty caty]

 
I don't think they forget (if you scruff or try to hold him like that again, he'll very likely remember something he doesn't like is coming), but they do eventually get over it.

I totally agree that next time, try alternative methods like the burrito @StephenQ mentioned. When I do my cat's claws, I get a second person to hold her up and just restrain her by putting his hands in front of her chest, and as much as she doesn't like it, she tolerates it and gets a treat immediately after. Instead of letting him run after a few trims, make a treat or something special part of trimming. One or two claws is a good start. If you need to space the trims apart a few days to keep him calm and comfortable, especially if you're just doing it at home, I don't see an issue with that. There's no need to force any stress on him.

Have you seen these tips on getting cats more used to paw-handling? http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-best-take-care-of-cat-claws

Thank you. I tried the burrrito method before, but to no avail.

Holding him just like that will not work. He tries to bite.

His nails are growing now, and he will need a trim soon. I hope he will allow me to do it. Taking him to the groomer every two weeks is really a stressful thing to do. P

Thank you for the tips, I"ll go over them.

 

[taty caty]

 
He does not feel "betrayed". All he's doing is associating laptime with scruffing. Blunt as I may be, it's your fault. Once, twice, three times. Cats don't forget bad memories (most sentient beings don't; it's how they survive -- by remembering what is bad for them). Now he thinks if he goes on your lap, he's going to get an unpleasant experience of nail trimming.

But it's not unfixable. It is going to take a while to undo that experience, but he can be made to "forget" it. Treats on your lap, praise and playtime near you. Consistent and regular reinforcement will help him remember again that your lap is a fun place to be.

You can be as blunt as you can. I already feel so guilty and clumsy for doing that.

I really miss my daily does of purring and kneading. I pray that the trust re-building measures will work.

Thank you.

 

[taty caty]

 
kitty will forget, give kitty some time!!!!

and scruffing may not be a good idea for your cat, and also repeatedly trying to clip his nails...

try to clip only the front paws if anything, as that is what the cats usually scratch humans with the most : /

this works for me, but i usually carry my kitties like they're babies and just get all four paws in one shot. 

Jet just sits there and takes the abuse

and Charlie yells at me, but also does the same.

They both get treats and praise after i'm done.

try talking to your cat while you're clipping the claws in a calm and soothing tone, that helps a lot with my cats.

FYI i've been clipping my kitties claws since they were 2 and 3 months old, so they're very used to being handled. I can clip the claws myself, and don't need someone else's help. Your cat might be different...but try to get him used to having his paws handled by you, by gently rubbing his paw pads, even if for a few seconds, every day

Thank you.

I only do the front paws. Although he once -unintentionally- scratched my leg with one of the toes of his back legs when he was jumping off my lap. I still have the scar.

I adopted him back in April, so he was not with me when he was a kitten.

Thanks for your input.