Its been over two weeks since Zorro was euthanized. The pain isn't getting any better. Everything I do reminds me of him. I took my sister's cat outside today, then started crying because I remembered how Zorro used to love going outside. Its so hard knowing that I'm never going to see him again. I just keep remembering all the little things he used to do that I always overlooked, but which seem so important and significant right now.
The whole scene just keeps playing over and over in my head every time I'm not busy. I just keep seeing him sitting on my lap on the lay to the vets. How he was getting sleepier and sleepier, yet he still managed to climb up and give me a kiss on the nose like he always used to when he was healthier. Then I remember carrying him into the vets office crying and holding him while the vet injected him. I can still feel him dying in my arms.
I know I did the right thing for him by staying, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to get it out of my head. I can't sleep, I can't function, I'm so angry all the time and yelling at everyone. I should be taking my new cat in for a checkup, but I just can't muster up the courage to be able to walk into the clinic. I'm terrified to go anywhere near a vet clinic now because I know I'll see everything happening all over again in my head.
I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I'll never be happy again. I just don't feel like 'me' anymore. I'm just so tired, but I'm too scared to try and sleep because of what I'll see.
The whole scene just keeps playing over and over in my head every time I'm not busy. I just keep seeing him sitting on my lap on the lay to the vets. How he was getting sleepier and sleepier, yet he still managed to climb up and give me a kiss on the nose like he always used to when he was healthier. Then I remember carrying him into the vets office crying and holding him while the vet injected him. I can still feel him dying in my arms.
I know I did the right thing for him by staying, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to get it out of my head. I can't sleep, I can't function, I'm so angry all the time and yelling at everyone. I should be taking my new cat in for a checkup, but I just can't muster up the courage to be able to walk into the clinic. I'm terrified to go anywhere near a vet clinic now because I know I'll see everything happening all over again in my head.
I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I'll never be happy again. I just don't feel like 'me' anymore. I'm just so tired, but I'm too scared to try and sleep because of what I'll see.