Will cat and kitten work out their relationship?

[benimalika]

Around a month and a half ago my boyfriend and I got a seven week old female kitten (her mother was run over which is the only reason we got her so young). We already had a three and half year old male cat, Beni. We confined Malika (kitten) to the bathroom for three days and then let them meet. In the beginning everything seemed fine, Beni would growl and hiss once in a while if she was annoying him but they would also groom each other, play and sleep together.

Recently it seems like he is constantly annoyed by her. At seven weeks old she was less active and coordinated, now that she's three months old she is incredibly active. We play with her a lot but it seems she has endless energy. The problem is that she is constantly pouncing on Beni to try and get him to play but he just hisses, growls and runs away most of the time. He does occasionally swat at her to try to get her to stop but she doesn't care at all and keeps pouncing. When this happens I try to distract her with a toy or put her in the bathroom for a bit so she can calm down and he can go to his cat tree or somewhere she won't annoy him. They still sometimes play together, groom each other, and sleep together which seems good to me.

I know I probably rushed the introduction but I don't have sufficient space to separate them properly. It seems cruel to keep either of them locked in a small bedroom or a small bathroom which are the only rooms I could put them in. We also can't take in another kitten for her to play with which is what I would love to do. I'm pretty hopeful once she calms down they will get along because Beni likes her when she's not in attack mode. But it seems cruel for him to be stressed for 8+ more months while she grows out of the kitten phase. I'm a little bit at a loss here

I don't know if I'm overthinking things and they will work out their relationship or if there's something else I should be doing? My biggest fear is to have to rehome Malika them in a year because things didn't work out between them

Any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation that worked out or didn't? I want to do what's best for both of them

 

[ArtNJ]

This isn't an introduction issue. The older cat doesn't like to be constantly jumped on. He doesn't fear or hate the kitten, or they wouldn't sometimes play. This is very common, and in fact its often much worse. There is largely nothing that can be done other than give the older cat a break now and then -- i.e., pet behind a closed door, and distract the kitten, as you are doing, when its convenient. Time will fix this. Eventually.

I know you feel bad for the older cat, but the fact that he is able to play with the kitten at times shows that this isn't that bad. Hissing and running away is just a grumpy older person trying to get some room to breathe. Sometimes the older cat will seem actually afraid, or hide almost all the time, and playing with the kitten is not common in this type of situation. So I think that when the kitten eventually slows down - may take a long time - there is yet hope that they might become friends.

Getting another kitten to get the first kitten's energy out is sometimes suggested, and can work. But it involves at least some risk of making things worse as well.

 

[di and bob]

Your situation is very common. The kitten is learning limits, and how to play nice (which at this age she usually learns from her mama and siblings) and it is Beni who has to teach her. Eventually, he will teach her to leave him alone. He will hiss, growl, swat, and may even pin her to the ground, all normal. The kitten will squeal and act like he is hurting her, but in truth, she is just telling him she is listening, so don't tell him no. It is also normal for her to be a complete pest right now, that is what kittens do. give him somewhere to go to escape, preferably high up, my Chrissy had a bed on top of the fridge for a year. Or a cat tree. It has to be somewhere he can defend against her. Get her a 'kickeroo' on Amazon, a long, catnip-filled toy. They are great for distraction and will allow her to bunny kick to get rid of built-up energy, which kittens have tremendous amounts of. Throw it towards her when she is stalking him. I have three and keep one in a plastic bag with catnip to keep it refreshed, interchanging them.
Believe me, Beni will eventually grow tired of her attentions and will put her in her place, as is his job. She will eventually learn to leave him alone. But it will take time. Rehoming is not an answer, what you are going through is perfectly normal, and Beni is young enough to adjust. Everything will work out!

 

[benimalika]

I'm glad it doesn't seem to be an introduction issue, I felt really guilty thinking I did something wrong there. Thank you, I think I was overthinking things since it's my first time owning two cats. I will continue to play with her as much as possible so she has less energy to bother him. I'll also try to give them more alone time as you suggest!

 

[benimalika]

Your situation is very common.

I really hope he does teach her! For now when he swats she just doesn't care and keeps pouncing. I intervene in these scenarios only to take her away when he keeps growling and she won't leave him alone. I know this is normal energetic kitten behaviour I just don't want Beni to start hating her.

They have a cat tree and he has definitely claimed the top perch as his We were planning on putting some shelves for them as well to give them a "cat wall" but we haven't been able to with the COVID-19 situation. He also likes sleeping on my bed so I try to close the door for him if he's sleeping so she won't disturb him. I will order her some kickeroos ASAP! I already subscribed to meowbox on top of getting her a lot of toys so she hopefully won't be a bored kitten!

I hope my rehoming comment didn't make it seem like I thought it was a solution. My parents constantly gave away pets like they were old clothes that went out of fashion and I absolutely hated it and vowed to not do that. I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything possible to prevent trouble between my kitties that could potentially lead in that direction if some irreparable damage was done in their relationship but it sounds like I'm just overthinking it. Thanks for all the advice it really put my mind at ease!

Here's a picture of them

 

[susanm9006]

Beautiful picture. He wouldn’t lay there with her if he didn’t like her. He is just being deferential and tolerant because she is so much younger but that will not last. Give h them a few more months and he will start letting her know to back off and behave when she gets to be too much of a pest.

 

[benimalika]

Beautiful picture. He wouldn’t lay there with her if he didn’t like her. He is just being deferential and tolerant because she is so much younger but that will not last. Give h them a few more months and he will start letting her know to back off and behave when she gets to be too much of a pest.

Thanks! I think I just have too much time to watch them now that I'm homebound they slept together on my bed for hours today so that also helped to reassure me