Subject: Fwd: Why Women are so Angry
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
\tWe start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
\t Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies,have to wear little mattresses between our legs or inserttubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
\tThen it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry
crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the shopping, and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in
pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the obstetrician says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or10) good push(es)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the @%$&*# doctor (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
\tAfter that, it's time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
\tThe teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's,while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
\tNow we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT (hormones) and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or constantly sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily, and bite the head off anything that moves.
\tNow, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Women are the "weaker sex." ? Yeah, right. Bite me!
Any Comebacks from the men???? lol
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
\tWe start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
\t Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies,have to wear little mattresses between our legs or inserttubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
\tThen it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry
crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the shopping, and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in
pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the obstetrician says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or10) good push(es)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the @%$&*# doctor (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
\tAfter that, it's time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
\tThe teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's,while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
\tNow we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT (hormones) and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or constantly sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily, and bite the head off anything that moves.
\tNow, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Women are the "weaker sex." ? Yeah, right. Bite me!
Any Comebacks from the men???? lol
