- Joined
- Jul 12, 2018
- Messages
- 11
- Purraise
- 12
I can't figure it out. I've lost friends, some immediate family members, and other pets as well. It has only been two days, but I haven't ever cried like this. I've had other cats as long as 20 years while growing up, and when they went, it wasn't so bad.
A girl told me about Clover nearly six years ago. Clover was living in isolation in a room in the basement of some professor who lived alone and he wasn't a cat person, Clover was the cat that nobody wanted, leftover from a divorce. After a few days I finally agreed to take her even though I already had two cats(I mostly did it because I had a huge crush on that girl at the time). When I went with her to pick the cat up it was pretty bad, Clover had a very tight collar around her neck that was pretty much embedded on her neck. She was immediately excited to get contact from any living thing, I could tell she spent most of her days in isolation alone in that room on this dirty mattress covered in cat hair. I bet her only friends were spiders that happened to crawl down there. I don't know what her age was at the time, but I heard around 11 years, and I have no idea how many years she spent in that room alone.
The first thing I did after bringing her home was removed that collar, I could tell she was relieved. That night she was a little nervous about the new surroundings, but came out and laid on the floor with me late at night(took a picture of that moment).
She quickly became MY cat. Over the next 5+ years I gave her SO much attention to the point where she forgot what it was to be alone and even got annoyed with me at times. I mean if I saw her laying anywhere I would run over and start rubbing my head on her and wake her up(I couldn't resist). Would always be next to me when I fell asleep and when I woke up. Followed me around everywhere, listened to the same music I did, and she never once snapped at me, never bit or hit me. I traveled sometimes, but every time I returned she was there waiting to continue snuggie time every night. I didn't make any "life" choices without the cats consent either. It was just me and her every night, especially lately. I didn't even need anything else. Girls? They're crazy. My cat? Purrfect.
Over the last year, she started having constant diarrhea, often not using the litter box. Almost every night my hallway would have a turd/diarrhea of some sort laying in it, but whatever it only took me a minute to clean it, I dealt with it. She developed IBD, most likely lymphoma, and hyperthyroidism. She would eat and drink all the time, while losing more and more weight. She eventually became like a walking skeleton, probably 4lbs if that, started coughing quite a lot, heart was having trouble. Constant howling at random walls until I came and nudged her(senile), and in pain often soon after eating(would diarrhea, and then vomit afterwards). Needless to say, she was still my cat, still slept with me every night and I welcomed it even if she left dirty paw prints on my sheet on the left side of my bed where she slept, I just had to wash the sheets more often than usual. Over the last two weeks, she couldn't lay down for more than maybe 10minutes at a time(was in obvious discomfort), but she kept coming back to my bed(snuggie time must go on) and purring, laying next to me.
Every opinion lately told me to have her put down. I said no. She was in pain, but she was still enjoying being with me, as I was with her. I finally gave in after she could no longer rest well, and noticed her eyes became watery and her back legs were becoming unbalanced. Two days ago she was put down, didn't even make a sound when they did the first anesthetic injection(which the vet that came to my house said was usually the painful part for the cat), which told me Clover got used to being in pain. As much pain as she may have been in, I still feel I did the wrong thing. She gave me that "I'm dying" look days before this, and I knew she was, but still she was there every night laying with me snuggling up until the very last night. There's no doubt her days were numbered, and I was also prepared to wake up with her next to me deceased, or to find her elsewhere in the house. Why didn't I wait for this? She could have been here another week, maybe months. Who am I to decide when another life is to end. I am not some creator. Why is it humane to put "animals" down, and not humans? When are we finally going to accept that all living things equally have the right to life. I can't wrap my head around this. It has only been two days since. Writing this, I have no doubt she would have been here sitting on my chair with me like she did, or staring at me waiting for me to finish typing so I could feed her. Yes she would have been in discomfort, but life comes once as is, there's no coming back. Once you're gone, you're gone. I feel I've made a mistake. I don't know how old she was, maybe 16 or 17, but I know she could have been here even a day longer and that I have to figure out how to cope with.
A girl told me about Clover nearly six years ago. Clover was living in isolation in a room in the basement of some professor who lived alone and he wasn't a cat person, Clover was the cat that nobody wanted, leftover from a divorce. After a few days I finally agreed to take her even though I already had two cats(I mostly did it because I had a huge crush on that girl at the time). When I went with her to pick the cat up it was pretty bad, Clover had a very tight collar around her neck that was pretty much embedded on her neck. She was immediately excited to get contact from any living thing, I could tell she spent most of her days in isolation alone in that room on this dirty mattress covered in cat hair. I bet her only friends were spiders that happened to crawl down there. I don't know what her age was at the time, but I heard around 11 years, and I have no idea how many years she spent in that room alone.
The first thing I did after bringing her home was removed that collar, I could tell she was relieved. That night she was a little nervous about the new surroundings, but came out and laid on the floor with me late at night(took a picture of that moment).
She quickly became MY cat. Over the next 5+ years I gave her SO much attention to the point where she forgot what it was to be alone and even got annoyed with me at times. I mean if I saw her laying anywhere I would run over and start rubbing my head on her and wake her up(I couldn't resist). Would always be next to me when I fell asleep and when I woke up. Followed me around everywhere, listened to the same music I did, and she never once snapped at me, never bit or hit me. I traveled sometimes, but every time I returned she was there waiting to continue snuggie time every night. I didn't make any "life" choices without the cats consent either. It was just me and her every night, especially lately. I didn't even need anything else. Girls? They're crazy. My cat? Purrfect.
Over the last year, she started having constant diarrhea, often not using the litter box. Almost every night my hallway would have a turd/diarrhea of some sort laying in it, but whatever it only took me a minute to clean it, I dealt with it. She developed IBD, most likely lymphoma, and hyperthyroidism. She would eat and drink all the time, while losing more and more weight. She eventually became like a walking skeleton, probably 4lbs if that, started coughing quite a lot, heart was having trouble. Constant howling at random walls until I came and nudged her(senile), and in pain often soon after eating(would diarrhea, and then vomit afterwards). Needless to say, she was still my cat, still slept with me every night and I welcomed it even if she left dirty paw prints on my sheet on the left side of my bed where she slept, I just had to wash the sheets more often than usual. Over the last two weeks, she couldn't lay down for more than maybe 10minutes at a time(was in obvious discomfort), but she kept coming back to my bed(snuggie time must go on) and purring, laying next to me.
Every opinion lately told me to have her put down. I said no. She was in pain, but she was still enjoying being with me, as I was with her. I finally gave in after she could no longer rest well, and noticed her eyes became watery and her back legs were becoming unbalanced. Two days ago she was put down, didn't even make a sound when they did the first anesthetic injection(which the vet that came to my house said was usually the painful part for the cat), which told me Clover got used to being in pain. As much pain as she may have been in, I still feel I did the wrong thing. She gave me that "I'm dying" look days before this, and I knew she was, but still she was there every night laying with me snuggling up until the very last night. There's no doubt her days were numbered, and I was also prepared to wake up with her next to me deceased, or to find her elsewhere in the house. Why didn't I wait for this? She could have been here another week, maybe months. Who am I to decide when another life is to end. I am not some creator. Why is it humane to put "animals" down, and not humans? When are we finally going to accept that all living things equally have the right to life. I can't wrap my head around this. It has only been two days since. Writing this, I have no doubt she would have been here sitting on my chair with me like she did, or staring at me waiting for me to finish typing so I could feed her. Yes she would have been in discomfort, but life comes once as is, there's no coming back. Once you're gone, you're gone. I feel I've made a mistake. I don't know how old she was, maybe 16 or 17, but I know she could have been here even a day longer and that I have to figure out how to cope with.
.
