Which kitten do I pick?

[Sonatine]

Not sure if this is the best forum for this, but here goes.

My friend has a lot of cats, and some of them have had kittens who need a home. I’m torn between two kittens. Unfortunately I can only adopt one (three cats in a one bedroom will be pushing it, but given this kitten's current situation it'll still be an improvement). There's a boy and a girl, but I'm not sure which one is right for me. Both were very shy and skittish at first but are starting to come around; however, it's a slow process. I'm hopeful that they will socialize easier once in my home.


The only boy is sleepier than the others. I kinda wanted a boy and a lazy cat. He'll let me pet him when he's sleepy too, and he's not skittish around hands like the other one. But he's also more sickly than the others; seems to have a persistent URI.



The girl has a bunch of weird white hairs but is a little bigger and glossier than the boy; I think she might be a bit older (they may not be from the same litter; bunch of females gave birth within a few weeks of each other). She's curious about me and generally gets closer to me than she does to most other people. But she really shies away from hands. I did manage to get her to rub her face on my hand once tonight, but she then followed it up with a chomp (hand must have smelled like the chicken I had been feeding them). That might have been the only time I've seen her not shy away from my hand.

So... I'm really torn. I feel like behaviorally the boy is the safer bet since he at least tolerates petting, but might be a little riskier health-wise. Also, the girl really does seem to be less wary of me than she is of many others, but she's just so averse to being touched, and I'm not sure if that can be socialized out of her. I have no problem with giving a cat space, but I would be sad if my cat didn't like to be petted at all. If it matters, I already have two young adult females who are quite friendly and playful with each other, so I do think that they will be willing to befriend the kitten eventually.


I'll probably make my final decision this Saturday or Friday. Agghh, which kitten!

 

[amethyst]

If you have the ability to quarantine the kitten from your current cats, and are ok with upfront vet bills, I would go with the male. It sounds like he needs you more.

 

[Willowy]

I agree; 2 adult females are more likely to make friends with a male too.

Is anything being done to help your friend with the situation? Because in a few months, those kittens will be having more kittens, and so on and so on, and they're likely to end up with hundreds of sick cats.

 

[Sonatine]

I agree; 2 adult females are more likely to make friends with a male too.

Is anything being done to help your friend with the situation? Because in a few months, those kittens will be having more kittens, and so on and so on, and they're likely to end up with hundreds of sick cats.

It's a work in progress. Right now, to prevent any more (in)breeding, all of the unspayed females are in a single room, with some of the less confident kittens (mine included, whichever it will be). They're getting 3 or so of the adults fixed each week and the kittens will be next after the adults are done. We have a low cost spay and neuter clinic near by, fortunately, and I think they have access to some vouchers as well.

I help with transportation when I am able to do so. My financial situation isn't awesome, but I think I can afford to help pay for one additional kitten to get spayed/neutered besides the one I end up adopting, so I might do that (though if the male ends up needing expensive vet care, that may complicate things. It's a URI, doesn't seem dangerous, but it's persistent. He just sneezes a lot and breathes loudly. I'm kind of hoping that time in a quieter home with less cats and smoke will help to clear it up, too).

Here's a pic of the boy... couldn't get a good one of the girl. He looks around 12 weeks (?) to me, and I know he's been weaned for a while now.
This is all very new to me. I've never had a kitten before, hadn't even been considering one until I found out about the situation. But I don't regret it. I think I'll enjoy having the little nugget around, and it'll get a chance at more space and attention.

 

[maggie101]

So you already have one at home? I have 3 cats in a one bedroom apartment though its big.. I agree the Male needs you more. Just be sure is he is fed canned food especially if he has uri. More expensive but it will save on vet bills. They are all soooooo cute! Hard choice

 

[Sonatine]

So you already have one at home? I have 3 cats in a one bedroom apartment though its big.. I agree the Male needs you more. Just be sure is he is fed canned food especially if he has uri. More expensive but it will save on vet bills. They are all soooooo cute! Hard choice

I've got two young adult females at home already. It's a biggish one bedroom apartment. While I hadn't really planned to add another cat just yet (and my apartment setup makes quarantining and intros a huge pain), I think that ultimately there will be enough room.

I thought it was canned food that helped prevent UTIs, not URIs? Either way my two girls are on only canned. The new kitten will be getting a mix of canned and dry for its first year (probably wet food meals and then free feeding dry; keeping up with a kitten appetite is no joke). After that... well, I'll be done with pharmacy school, and whatever job I get as a pharmacist, it will probably be sufficient to get a bigger apartment and feed all wet again, just in time for new kitty to be grown.

 

[jefferd18]

It's a work in progress. Right now, to prevent any more (in)breeding, all of the unspayed females are in a single room, with some of the less confident kittens (mine included, whichever it will be). They're getting 3 or so of the adults fixed each week and the kittens will be next after the adults are done. We have a low cost spay and neuter clinic near by, fortunately, and I think they have access to some vouchers as well.

I help with transportation when I am able to do so. My financial situation isn't awesome, but I think I can afford to help pay for one additional kitten to get spayed/neutered besides the one I end up adopting, so I might do that (though if the male ends up needing expensive vet care, that may complicate things. It's a URI, doesn't seem dangerous, but it's persistent. He just sneezes a lot and breathes loudly. I'm kind of hoping that time in a quieter home with less cats and smoke will help to clear it up, too).
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Here's a pic of the boy... couldn't get a good one of the girl. He looks around 12 weeks (?) to me, and I know he's been weaned for a while now.
This is all very new to me. I've never had a kitten before, hadn't even been considering one until I found out about the situation. But I don't regret it. I think I'll enjoy having the little nugget around, and it'll get a chance at more space and attention.

He is awfully cute. He will need a good round of antibiotics to clear up the URI and the upper respiratory infection. Would love to see a pic of the little lady feline. Thank you for adopting.

 

[cataholic07]

I think the boy might be the safer bet but he might be more laidback due to being sick. Also not sure how you would free feed with 2 other cats, usually they will all try to eat his food lol. You can just feed 4 times a day if possible and feed both wet and dry.

 

[mishkamooshka]

I think the boy would be a better bet imo, but I have a preference for male pets. Ive had many cats in my life and the boys have always been sweet pea mama's boys who love to cuddle. Vocal, but very sweet. I'm on my first nice girl cat, but she isn't nearly as affectionate as her brothers.

 

[Sonatine]

I think the boy might be the safer bet but he might be more laidback due to being sick. Also not sure how you would free feed with 2 other cats, usually they will all try to eat his food lol. You can just feed 4 times a day if possible and feed both wet and dry.

I'm going to free feed while he's separated from the other two. After that.... I'll feed 3-4 times daily and still sometimes separate him and let him free feed then? At least it won't be a problem while they're still separated. Still not wholly certain on the logistics of that one, since my other two will inhale any food within reach, but I'll figure something out.

I'm hoping that he'll be more naturally laid back, but it could be because he's sick. He still did come out to eat and play though, so he might not be doing too badly. I'll see what the situation is this weekend. Hopefully he's doing better by then.

He is awfully cute. He will need a good round of antibiotics to clear up the URI and the upper respiratory infection. Would love to see a pic of the little lady feline. Thank you for adopting.

He is cute, that's for sure. I tried to get a good pic of the girl but she wasn't having any of it. If he's the one I go with, I might give him a couple of days before going to the vet for meds, just in case his sneezing is viral or allergy related (they smoke in their home, he might do better in a smoke free home). But if he remains lethargic and it doesn't clear up I'll get him some meds for sure.

 

[ArtNJ]

I am not trying to be offensive, but that picture is a problem to me. There is cat food scattered around in the same carpet as cat litter. That could cause disease. Not saying its necessarily a problem to adopt a cat from there . . . but I hope you are going to take better care of your pets.

Personally, having searched around the internet, I don't think there is any real evidence that timely neutered/spayed cats behave differently. And it is not particularly reliable to predict adult cat behavior from how a kitten acts in the original home. So it is actually not unreasonable to pick based on looks alone.

 

[heyitskevinn]

I am not trying to be offensive, but that picture is a problem to me. There is cat food scattered around in the same carpet as cat litter. That could cause disease.

Agreed, the image and state of that room is disturbing and worrisome.

 

[Sonatine]

I am not trying to be offensive, but that picture is a problem to me. There is cat food scattered around in the same carpet as cat litter. That could cause disease. Not saying its necessarily a problem to adopt a cat from there . . . but I hope you are going to take better care of your pets.

Personally, having searched around the internet, I don't think there is any real evidence that timely neutered/spayed cats behave differently. And it is not particularly reliable to predict adult cat behavior from how a kitten acts in the original home. So it is actually not unreasonable to pick based on looks alone.

As I'm sure it's been said, that's not my house. I do appreciate your concern, but the implication that I might not take good care of my pets based on a picture of where I'll be getting the kitten from IS a little bit offensive (I know you probably didn't mean it that way, but I adore my cats and do the best I can for them, so the suggestion that I don't care for them is hurtful). What you see in the picture is honestly WHY I'm adopting from them. My friends are trying to do right by their cats, but they are struggling. I help them where I can, of course, but what I can do for the whole situation is limited, beyond this. At least this will be one less cat for them to care for, and I'm hopeful that a shy kitten who struggles in a home with a lot of other cats might do better in my comparatively peaceful home.

Since I've been visiting, things have been gradually improving, as they are able to get more of their cats fixed so they don't have to be confined from the others (they took in a number of abandoned cats who were intact, who then managed to breed before they were able to get them fixed), and as the kittens get older and a bit less messy. They're moving in the right direction, but it's going to take time.

I do think you're probably right about their personalities. There's really no way to guarantee how they'll behave in my home! So hopefully either kitten will be okay. The female's aversion to petting, I'm a little concerned about, though (she was given medicine as a kitten and didn't like it and I think that might be the reason for it). Not sure how easy that will be to work around, as she may never like it.

Whichever kitten I get, though, I'll just try to provide it a patient and loving home (with any necessary vet care, of course). Hopefully that will be enough.

 

[Sonatine]

Just a quick update:

I brought the boy kitten home yesterday. Considering Milo or Mojo for names. And the most interesting part....

... he's actually not timid at all! Once I brought him to my house and gave him a plate of wet food, he perked right up. He's all purrs and biscuit making and just wants to be petted and loved on all the time. Super sweet, happy kitten. I think I made a good choice!

 

[Sylvia Jones]

Hurray!!! We need pictures please

 

[ArtNJ]

Just a quick update:

I brought the boy kitten home yesterday. Considering Milo or Mojo for names. And the most interesting part....

... he's actually not timid at all! Once I brought him to my house and gave him a plate of wet food, he perked right up. He's all purrs and biscuit making and just wants to be petted and loved on all the time. Super sweet, happy kitten. I think I made a good choice!

That is why I tell people that if one is adopting a kitten, they may as well just pick based on looks, because you really can't tell what they will be like! Glad your kitten is doing so well!

 

[Tik cat's mum]

Good news you will have to post some pictures when you can get them.

 

[heyitskevinn]

, they may as well just pick based on looks,

No offense but...Bad, very very bad sentiment, this is why black cats get treated the way they do.

 

[ArtNJ]

No offense but...Bad, very very bad sentiment, this is why black cats get treated the way they do.

Not sure what point you are making Kevin. My point was 100% correct -- you can't really tell what personality a young kitten will eventually have even if you see it in a home, and especially if you see it in a shelter. So you may as well pick based on looks, because there is an excellent chance that trying to pick based on personality won't work. People that pick a cat based on looks without understanding what the normal range of cat behaviors is are a whole different subject.

Most recently, my wife wanted a girl kitten. I picked the only girl kitten, who was the shyest of the litter. And she turned out super friendly and active. That is typical. You just can't know, if adopting a very young kitten.

 

[heyitskevinn]

Not sure what point you are making Kevin. My point was 100% correct -- you can't really tell what personality a young kitten will eventually have even if you see it in a home, and especially if you see it in a shelter. So you may as well pick based on looks, because there is an excellent chance that trying to pick based on personality won't work. People that pick a cat based on looks without understanding what the normal range of cat behaviors is are a whole different subject.

Most recently, my wife wanted a girl kitten. I picked the only girl kitten, who was the shyest of the litter. And she turned out super friendly and active. That is typical. You just can't know, if adopting a very young kitten.

My point was that visually-un-appealing pets in shelters have incredibly high chances of being put to sleep solely because people only care about aesthetics and appearance - I.E looks & gender - when it comes to adoption and therefore choose who's prettiest/visually interesting/unique/whatever rather than saving animals who are in actual need. Promoting adopters to adopt via going off of looks is almost as bad as promoting buying purebred animals.
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Just look up ugly dog euthanasia stats, it's not unique to dogs.