Where To Start With Helping A Shy Cat

[susan denning]

I have a cat that I’m very concerned about. He is super shy (almost feral), and seems to be getting worse, not better, like I would hope. I am wondering if he needs more intervention than just giving him time to settle in, and am wanting the perspective of other cat owners.

When we adopted him, he would hang out inside without a problem, and would jump on my lap and my Dad’s lap. The first time I was aware that he was shy was when he did a disappearing act when my sister came over.

At this time, he will not voluntarily stay on anyone’s lap (expect maybe mine, if my parents are out of the house and he’s tired). He will not let anyone but me pick him up. He startles when I’m holding him and my Dad comes close (sometimes when my Mom comes close too). He has started to not stay in the house (if given the choice, he will bolt out to the garage or up to my room). He gave my Dad a nasty scratch (and frightened the cattery owner), when my Dad picked him up from the cattery.

He was in the local Banfield, this Saturday for an obstruction, and was diagnosed with urinary crystals. When asked about stress, my Mom said that she doesn't think he's ever not stressed. So, I think that part of effective treatment would be to calm things down. My goal would be to get him to where he can live with us calmly (I don't care about strangers, but I do care when he starts acting afraid of my parents, since he sees them every day. I also care about the not wanting to be inside, since that is new).

He's a super friendly cat to me (and apparently got along well at the foster home he was in) and has never been aggressive, except when trying to get away.

I was hoping you might be able to point me in the right direction to help him.

 

[catwoman5432]

Hi, it seems your cat was affected by your sisters visit. My cat is afraid of my sister too, and doesn't stay in the same room as her. I didn't know why, and my cat wasn't that friendly back then to us either, so I just assumed it was her personal preference. Later one day when I was talking to her about my cat scratching me she told me 'hit her when she does that' and I was startled to hear that reply. I asked her if she's ever hit my cat, and she said 'once she scratched me and tried to run so I locked the room and hit her with a flip flop'. I couldn't bare to even imagine that so I told my sister to never even come near me cat again.
She was scared of all of us for a month after that but I gave her her own time. I didn't try to keep her on my lap or try to force affection from her. I used to pick her up, give her a hug and a kiss and gently keep her down. She started trusting all of us again and although she doesn't go near my sister or stay in the same room(which is a relief for me), she loves to show affection and sit near us and purr and love us.
Try to find who is causing this fear in him by talking to all your family members. Stroke her while he's doing his favorite activity ( my cat's is eating ) and try to make him sleep on your parent's bed when they're not there. Try to get him play with your parents (with simple toys like a paper ball and string). Talk to him as if he were a family member( he is one but let him know that). Try and follow what I did and hopefully he will recover in good time.

 

[susan denning]

Thanks. He's acting much better now. I think the cattery (he was in the cattery in July), and the pain from the cystitis were a big part of the problem.

 

[Loki_Lily]

I have a cat that I’m very concerned about. He is super shy (almost feral), and seems to be getting worse, not better, like I would hope. I am wondering if he needs more intervention than just giving him time to settle in, and am wanting the perspective of other cat owners.

When we adopted him, he would hang out inside without a problem, and would jump on my lap and my Dad’s lap. The first time I was aware that he was shy was when he did a disappearing act when my sister came over.

At this time, he will not voluntarily stay on anyone’s lap (expect maybe mine, if my parents are out of the house and he’s tired). He will not let anyone but me pick him up. He startles when I’m holding him and my Dad comes close (sometimes when my Mom comes close too). He has started to not stay in the house (if given the choice, he will bolt out to the garage or up to my room). He gave my Dad a nasty scratch (and frightened the cattery owner), when my Dad picked him up from the cattery.

He was in the local Banfield, this Saturday for an obstruction, and was diagnosed with urinary crystals. When asked about stress, my Mom said that she doesn't think he's ever not stressed. So, I think that part of effective treatment would be to calm things down. My goal would be to get him to where he can live with us calmly (I don't care about strangers, but I do care when he starts acting afraid of my parents, since he sees them every day. I also care about the not wanting to be inside, since that is new).

He's a super friendly cat to me (and apparently got along well at the foster home he was in) and has never been aggressive, except when trying to get away.

I was hoping you might be able to point me in the right direction to help him.

Your baby in the display picture looks super cute. I am sure his health was playing a part but some cats are just shy in nature. My boy Loki is the sweetest thing on the planet, but he has never been a lap cat. He has always hidden from everyone and do not like kids very much- maybe because my little niece loves him and runs after him for attention. She has been told not to do that anymore and their relationship has gotten better since. He has always been a bit aloof though. Does not like most toys, picky eater, let you pet him in his terms and super skittish. I got him at 3 months and I have always wondered if he was abused because he is literally always alert of his surroundings. So distracted to protect himself that he barely plays or stays engage in fun activities. I know he loves me because he purrs a lot when I get close, follows me around and finds a spot close to me to hang out, BUT never on my lap! I am sure your baby needs more time to be comfortable with his surroundings and I am glad to hear from your update that it has gotten better. Mine is turning 2 soon and still aloof. I keep hoping he will turn into a lap cat someday but his odd behavior doesnt stop me from loving him more than this world! Yes, He is my life!