When to accept that your cat just doesn't like other cats?

[TuxSteelio]

Our cat loves to play and be around people, never showing an ounce of aggression with them (vet included!). We adopted him at 1 (now 2) so aren't sure of his prior history. He's my first cat.

We do wish he could have a friend to play with while we're at work. Although we've only had a couple of experiences of him meeting other cats. The first was a friend's cat in our apartment (mistake on our part) and our cat was very territorial and on the offensive (yowling and then going in for some hard swats) before separated. The other time was a visit to a "cat hotel" while we were out of town, and each cat gets their own time outside their room to play with the staff and our cat apparently did not like seeing the other cats on the other side of their doors.

Should we accept he's likely just content being a single kitty? Are there any safe ways of testing his tolerance for other cats as maybe it's just an unfamiliarity? I wouldn't want to put him or any other cats in harm's way if he's aggressive. He was okay with a small dog!

 

[Azazel]

What you describe is pretty normal behavior for a cat. Actually, it would be unusual if your cat immediately befriended every cat he saw. Since they’re not pack animals like dogs, cats tend to be very strict about who/what they hang around with. Other cats, in particular, pose a direct threat to their territory, so in a cat’s world, your cat had every right to be a jerk to your friend’s cat who had invaded his territory. He’s probably perfectly content the way he is. If you want to introduce a new cat the best way would be to get a kitten but even then the introduction has to be very careful and slow. There are lots of threads on these forums about introducing cats, but I don’t think it’s necessarily always a good idea to get a cat to befriend the current resident cat. Your resident cat honestly probably doesn’t care to have a cat friend as much as you want him to.

 

[TuxSteelio]

What you describe is pretty normal behavior for a cat. Actually, it would be unusual if your cat immediately befriended every cat he saw. Since they’re not pack animals like dogs, cats tend to be very strict about who/what they hang around with. Other cats, in particular, pose a direct threat to their territory, so in a cat’s world, your cat had every right to be a jerk to your friend’s cat who had invaded his territory. He’s probably perfectly content the way he is. If you want to introduce a new cat the best way would be to get a kitten but even then the introduction has to be very careful and slow. There are lots of threads on these forums about introducing cats, but I don’t think it’s necessarily always a good idea to get a cat to befriend the current resident cat. Your resident cat honestly probably doesn’t care to have a cat friend as much as you want him to.

Thanks! Yeah, the cat in his territory wasn't a good idea so abruptly - naive thinking on our part because he's so docile otherwise. I've read quite a bit about the slow introductions, I just have the fear of making the commitment to another cat and it not working out in the end. In all likelihood he's probably happy to have the people to himself.

 

[Azazel]

Thanks! Yeah, the cat in his territory wasn't a good idea so abruptly - naive thinking on our part because he's so docile otherwise. I've read quite a bit about the slow introductions, I just have the fear of making the commitment to another cat and it not working out in the end. In all likelihood he's probably happy to have the people to himself.

I was really worried when we adopted our 3rd cat too. She was an adult and had a rough upbringing and my other two male cats were extremely closely bonded already. With lots of patience and hard work we made it happen though. So I think it’s definitely possible, but not without lots of research and due diligence. I wonder if a shelter would let you foster a kitten as a trial run? Not sure if that’s a thing. Others might know better.

 

[ArtNJ]

Your evidence is not meaningful because just as A Azazel said, it almost always takes some time

Let me give you an example of my recent adoption of a kitten. Kitten went into a safe room for 3 days, then I let her meet my 4 year old cat. Too short for most, but the kitten adopted super quickly to us, my four year old is mellow and I have experience. Older cat hissed at kitten right away, but showed no true hostility. He showed curiousity, needing to know what she was doing, and would sometimes come to where she was just to look, hiss at her and leave. He never swatted at her, but he might have if she hadn't respected his personal space. "Get away" swats don't mean much more than hissing. Within a week or so, they started playing, all hesitation forgotten. That was a quick one, painless in the scheme of things and with a great result, and there was still some tenseness for a week! So you can see that casual encounters or a week at a cat kennel don't mean anything.

I will say that 2 years old or older for the resident cat is kind of a dividing point where the chances of a harder introduction and maybe not getting all the way to friendship start to go up a bit. So no guaranties, its a dice roll, but I would not worry at all that your cat is rolling bad dice based on what you've told us. Only way to know is to roll em.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. Feeby is one of those cats who doesn't like other cats. I am not sure whether or not your cat is one of them or not. A few more times of some kind of exposure might tell you one way or the other.

Let me share with you how Feeby behaves: every time another cat is nearby - she goes ballistic and wants to attack it - howling/guttural growling and trying to attack our screen on the patio. She is 15+ yo, and this has gone on her entire life. The first incident was way back when I first got her - the very day she came home from being spayed, she managed to sneak by me when I was in the garage, because she smelled one of my neighbor's cat. She ran after that cat, chased it across the street and into some bushes. I had to run after her calling her the whole way trying to get her attention while she was completely ignoring me. The only thing that saved that other cat was the fact she was much smaller than Feeby and was able to get inside the bushes where Feeby could not.

She spends a lot of time on that patio and strays/neighbor cats come by sometimes. I have to keep an eye out on her while she is out there, because she turns into demon "gonna kill you" if another cat is anywhere in our yard - even 40 feet away. There was only ONE exception - a stray, who was finally 'adopted' by another neighbor, used to come in our yard nearly daily, for weeks. He would sit on one side of our patio door and she would calmly sit on the other side. They would do this for hours at a time.

 

[Kieka]

I have two cats (but we have three in the house). The boys are pretty mellow about other cats. Nightfury doesn't really like other cats but he isn't a fighter and as long as they give him space he is fine. Link lives other cats and would probably love it if I fostered kittens and he had lots of little ones to play with. Link used to watch the kittens at the feral colony across the street and only didn't go over because the adult females hated him around. There is a little stray that really wants to come in our house and the boys have been nose to nose with him without problem. A little standoffish but nothing serious. When I added Rocket to the household it was about 24 hours of caution from Link and three months of just watching from a distance for Fury but no hissing.

Now Rocket hates other cats, absolutely hates them. She tolerates the boys because she grew up with them but there are moments when she is just plain mean to them. There are other times she adores them and I think she would hate being an only cat but new cats are a no go. The one time I let another cat in the house (a friends foster kitten I was considering adopting), Rocket hid in her cat house for 24 hours refusing to move. Practically catatonic over a 5 week kitten coming into her house. It was bad. The little stray who is hanging out? Rocket hisses at it then tells at the boys to get rid of it (which they respond with a sigh and head towards the stray only with her prompting, the stray wisely heads out when it sees Rocket now).

As said above, most cats aren't naturally social so dont expect your cat to respond favorably to other cats immediately. Some cats will adapt and end up loving having others around (my boys for example). Some cats despise other cats and you will know you cant even try (like my Rocket). Its knowing your cat and knowing what they will tolerate.

 

[Talien]

Big question, is he neutered? If not then that should be your first priority as an intact male is 100% going to be more aggressive toward other Cats, especially other males.

 

[Pjg8r]

Thumper, the cat in this picture, lived with three others for years but when she was the only one left although she loved all dogs, she would not tolerate any others cats or kittens in the house. I could not foster or adopt until she crossed the rainbow bridge.