When should I let her go??

[wacckky]

hello so this is a question regarding my 14, almost 15 year old cat. i ask for no judgment, but advice/opinions coming from a place of understanding.

my mother told me i should consider euthanizing my cat, whose been with me my entire life since i was 7. last year i tried moving her in with me and my boyfriend but it just did not workout. shes old, and ny boyfriends cats are young. i tried reintroducing them slowly for about a month but they still did not like her. she also is very bad with babies and if she hears them cry she will try to either attack them or the closest adult. so i asked my brother to take her in.

my brother is not in a good place at all (mentally) and i dont think hes really fit to take care of her anymore. id love to take her back but i dont know if i can do it and none of this is fair to her. we're moving in a few days, which will be very stressful for my bfs 3 cats and if i try to get her into the new place (which isnt much bigger) it would be stressful for them all, and myself too.

she has eosinophilic granuloma, blocked anal gland issues, and some pododermatitis which im not sure why. i deal with all these issues with our vet but the eosinophilic granuloma isnt getting better, and shes on her second round of steroids. she just, doesnt seem happy anymore and i feel awful and guilty that i cannot provide her happiness.

im left with 2 options here, i cant let her stay with my brother.. do i try to make it work at the new place with the other cats and my son? or lay her to rest.. i feel really awful about these choices and i dont know whats best honestly. i feel like id feel guilt about putting her to sleep so i guess i just want another opinion? if i do try and take her back im scared of her around my son, and id have to keep her locked away at all times..

im sorry for ranting i dont know what to do..

 

[Krienze]

First, I'd talk to your vet and see if he thinks she has any quality of life left. My cat, Isabel, is 15 almost 16 and she's still practically a kitten. I'm not really familiar with the medical issues you listed so I'm not sure how to respond there but a vet trip sounds like it's in order if she's showing signs of depression to make sure the medications she's on aren't having negative effects on her? If she still has quality of life left, I don't really feel like it's right to put her down because it'd be convenient to the situation you're in. If you truly feel like you're not able to care for her/make it work, maybe you can find a foster family or another family to adopt her? It's a sad situation and I really hope you find the best option for you and your old girl =( Is it possible she could have a room all to herself? When we adopted Jasper and Mia, it took them a good few months to really get along well with Isabel. Even still, sometimes Mia and her clash (never fight though, just little hissy spits) so maybe you didn't give it enough time? It can take awhile, but I think most of the time most cats learn to at least tolerate each other. Good luck =(

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm seconding talking to your vet, often times it's suggested to ask that if the cat was theirs, what would they do. Sending hugs to all of you!!

 

[wacckky]

First, I'd talk to your vet and see if he thinks she has any quality of life left. My cat, Isabel, is 15 almost 16 and she's still practically a kitten. I'm not really familiar with the medical issues you listed so I'm not sure how to respond there but a vet trip sounds like it's in order if she's showing signs of depression to make sure the medications she's on aren't having negative effects on her? If she still has quality of life left, I don't really feel like it's right to put her down because it'd be convenient to the situation you're in. If you truly feel like you're not able to care for her/make it work, maybe you can find a foster family or another family to adopt her? It's a sad situation and I really hope you find the best option for you and your old girl =( Is it possible she could have a room all to herself? When we adopted Jasper and Mia, it took them a good few months to really get along well with Isabel. Even still, sometimes Mia and her clash (never fight though, just little hissy spits) so maybe you didn't give it enough time? It can take awhile, but I think most of the time most cats learn to at least tolerate each other. Good luck =(

its not that its "convenient" its that im not really left with much options. i have an 8 month old and will be returning to work in a few months, even if i tried to introduce them again, doubt itd even work with the other cats. and she just doesnt like babies, something with their cries really sets her off and shes attacked me over it before pretty badly.. we're moving into a 2 bed and 1 of them being for my son. do you really think its fair to keep her locked up in a room too??

theres an influx of kittens needing homes, the shelter is literally packed and not taking in anymore. no one here will take her in especially with her health issues. she just doesnt seem to be doing well and my brother cant care for her, and realistically i cant either even if i tried to pull strings. all of this is not fair to her, and trust me i feel terrible about this, i wish i could make it work but i really cant see it working out. whether thats letting her stay with my brother or keeping her.

 

[wacckky]

I'm seconding talking to your vet, often times it's suggested to ask that if the cat was theirs, what would they do. Sending hugs to all of you!!

thank you, ill talk to the vet and see what the best thing here i should do. none of this is fair to her and i feel awful. i feel like i failed her and couldnt give her the best life possible.. but i guess its definitely better than where she couldve ended up when i first took her in

 

[ArtNJ]

Thats too bad about the local shelters being full. I think here in the US in many places the shelters still have more spots than normal. My brother once gave a diabetic elderly poorly adjusted, frankly kind of mean cat to a rescue. Its sometimes possible. If you are in the US, it may be possible if you are willing to drive a bit more. Not saying that is the best option, I agree talking to the vet about quality of life is a good start.

 

[Furballsmom]

i guess its definitely better than where she couldve ended up when i first took her in

Yes, exactly

 

[wacckky]

Thats too bad about the local shelters being full. I think here in the US in many places the shelters still have more spots than normal. My brother once gave a diabetic elderly poorly adjusted, frankly kind of mean cat to a rescue. Its sometimes possible. If you are in the US, it may be possible if you are willing to drive a bit more. Not saying that is the best option, I agree talking to the vet about quality of life is a good start.

no im in canada, and i would rather her not go to a shelter. i only said that because i know no one could take her in, and shes got baggage too.. ill speak to my vet about it though and see what the best option is here

 

[Krienze]

its not that its "convenient" its that im not really left with much options. i have an 8 month old and will be returning to work in a few months, even if i tried to introduce them again, doubt itd even work with the other cats. and she just doesnt like babies, something with their cries really sets her off and shes attacked me over it before pretty badly.. we're moving into a 2 bed and 1 of them being for my son. do you really think its fair to keep her locked up in a room too??

theres an influx of kittens needing homes, the shelter is literally packed and not taking in anymore. no one here will take her in especially with her health issues. she just doesnt seem to be doing well and my brother cant care for her, and realistically i cant either even if i tried to pull strings. all of this is not fair to her, and trust me i feel terrible about this, i wish i could make it work but i really cant see it working out. whether thats letting her stay with my brother or keeping her.

My apologies if my post came across as accusatory at all. I was speaking generally/based on how I feel in situations like this/what I would do and think if I was in your shoes. I definitely wasn't trying to imply that you'd be putting her down because it's convenient to you. I only meant that I don't agree with putting a cat down when there is quality of life left, just because other situations make it difficult.

I don't know what it's like in Canada, but do you have facebook swap shops or whatever? or a lost pet page? You may be able to find a cat rescue through them or people who'd be willing to foster? I know here we have a few people who'll take sick cats just to give them a home in their final days, but I'm not familiar with where you live, so I can't speak for you there. All I know is I found soooo many cat rescues and fosters that I didn't know existed until I reached out to people on facebook. Could always ask your vet too and see if he knows anyone, etc.

No, I don't necessarily think keeping your cat in a room to herself is unfair if that's what she seems to prefer. Isabel seems to -want- to live in the Utility room half the time. I used to try and force her out, now I just let her do what she wants and sometimes she wants to come out and play, or snuggle. But if your cat is older and wants to mostly snooze and chill, having a quiet space for her might be something she enjoys/wants since the excitement seems to spook her a bit?

Either way like I said, I hope you're able to find a good solution. It's a rough spot you're in and I feel for you and your girl.