When Playing Becomes Fighting; Coping With 2nd Male Cat And Their Bonding

earthwormgym · Nov 30, 2017

Hey folks,

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about struggles with introductions between a 11-month old named Arlo (Resident) and a 2-month old named Graham. Both male.

Since then, they've been generally getting along a lot better, which makes me think Arlo has finally accepted him as family. Arlo is now fully eating again and "almost" back to his previous state. (Not as playful as before with humans, but perhaps a topic for another thread).

My ongoing concern comes down to their tussling. I've read various articles about their play-fighting and how many can mistake something serious with basic play!

It usually starts with Arlo either chasing or pouncing on Graham. A tussle ensures, rolling on their backs. As things develop, Graham struggles for freedom and subsequently hisses and growls. When he finally gets free, Arlo simply chases him and the process repeats...

It seems that Arlo doesn't like to give up and wants Graham to truly suffer. This is usually when we step in and separate them for 5 minutes, before re-introducing.

Here's a video I made of them in question:

So I guess my question is whether to let them ride it out, or to keep interrupting them and repeat the process. Being new to this, it's hard to have a good eye on the situation, and honestly each experience slightly differs.

But any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Mamanyt1953 · Nov 30, 2017

OK, here's my take on it. It isn't a fight unless there is fur flying and blood on the floor. No matter how noisy it gets, and it can sound terrifying, so long as no one has bald patches and no one is bleeding, they're working it out just fine on their own. As a well known cat behaviorest once said, "Sometimes a cat's gotta say what a cat's gotta say." Just watch to make sure no one is bleeding, and I'm betting that no one will. They'll be better and more secure for having sorted it out for themselves.

It may be that you are intervening just at the point where Arlo is finally getting his point across to Graham.

susanm9006 · Nov 30, 2017

They are just playing and Arlo is having a grand time. While he is definitely able to get the better of Graham right now, in just a couple of months the table may turn and Graham may be the aggressor. But I do see the concerns with the size difference right now. It’s okay to give Graham a breather from his big brother from time to time, but it is unlikely Arlo would actually hurt him.

earthwormgym · Dec 1, 2017

Yes, thankfully no blood or flying fur as it stands. And we tend to agree, it does seem very "friendly" although the scowling from Graham does concern us a lot. We'll be sure to try and keep away from it, so they can learn from each other...but parental instincts do like to kick in, haha!