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When a cat is dying...
- Thread starter postfetalphase
- Start Date
Some losses you never fully recover from. It's important to go all the way through the grieving process, not try to shortcut it. That increases your chances of healing fully.
This kind of loss is a lot like an amputation. There will always be a Jesse shaped hole in your heart, but grieving properly seems to keep it from getting inflamed, as if tears disinfect it. Don't try to fill that hole with your new kitten; it won't work and she deserves being loved for who she is, not who she replaced.
Margret
This kind of loss is a lot like an amputation. There will always be a Jesse shaped hole in your heart, but grieving properly seems to keep it from getting inflamed, as if tears disinfect it. Don't try to fill that hole with your new kitten; it won't work and she deserves being loved for who she is, not who she replaced.
Margret
This is a sad question, but thanks for asking. Cats that were with me, and were outdoor cats (yes, I now realize how risky that is for the cat, and now convince cats to enjoy indoors), would disappear outside. My most recent older cat, when he died of kidney failure, wanted my companionship during his last few days. He did not cuddle, but he clearly wanted me to stay in the room and on the couch with him. He was a feral Maine Coon cat (at least mostly).
It depends on the temperment of the cat. I remember quite well when my beautiful angel Midnight was in her final days, she wanted affection from me nearly all of the time, which I didn't mind at all. I truly feel she knew her time was coming, and she wanted to give me as much love and affection as she could. If this is occuring for you, please accept this for the true blessing that it is. If, however, your cat is withdrawn, please understand that your cat is handling this as best he or she can. When the time does come, allow yourself to grieve fully. You do your loved one no shame in doing so. Then remember the wonderful times you had with your furry friend. Know that there are many of us who have gone through this struggle that you are now facing, and we care for you.
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Hi, I'm new to the forum and just stumbled upon this.
I have a 22 year old Maine Coon kitty (girl) Jezabel. She is in kidney failure.
A couple months ago I called my at home vet because my girl had a couple seizures... she had a hard time walking but slowly came back to where she was walking and not so confused.
I brought her in to another vet for blood work, and the vet said I had some time left with her. so this last couple months shes been slowly going downhill.
She'll eat and be fine sometimes, but then suddenly throw up...shes taken to going into the litter box to throw up lately, but is peeing and pooping outside the litter box.
She seems to be breathing faster (Her stomach is going up and down pretty quick.) About half an hour ago, she threw up in the litter box, seemed quite hungry and came downstairs for food. I went to get it for her and she disappeared.
I found her in a corner where she had pooped. I put the food in front of her, and suddenly this huge stream of pee came out of her. She gave me this look like she was ashamed... I tried to reassure her that I loved her and it was ok...she could eat if she wanted to, but she wanted to go back upstairs, so I carried her as I've been doing for a few weeks. As of right now, she hasn't eaten for a few hours. If she stops eating, I imagine its time and that death isn't far off.
How do you prepare for something like this? Shes such a sweet girl. I'm just heartbroken.
Shes not even licking my husbands beard anymore...which is her favorite thing to do...shes just so weak.
Poor kitty, I just don't know when or if to call the vet to put her down. I just don't want my lil buddy to be in a lot of pain and miserable. Ug.
I have a 22 year old Maine Coon kitty (girl) Jezabel. She is in kidney failure.
A couple months ago I called my at home vet because my girl had a couple seizures... she had a hard time walking but slowly came back to where she was walking and not so confused.
I brought her in to another vet for blood work, and the vet said I had some time left with her. so this last couple months shes been slowly going downhill.
She'll eat and be fine sometimes, but then suddenly throw up...shes taken to going into the litter box to throw up lately, but is peeing and pooping outside the litter box.
She seems to be breathing faster (Her stomach is going up and down pretty quick.) About half an hour ago, she threw up in the litter box, seemed quite hungry and came downstairs for food. I went to get it for her and she disappeared.
I found her in a corner where she had pooped. I put the food in front of her, and suddenly this huge stream of pee came out of her. She gave me this look like she was ashamed... I tried to reassure her that I loved her and it was ok...she could eat if she wanted to, but she wanted to go back upstairs, so I carried her as I've been doing for a few weeks. As of right now, she hasn't eaten for a few hours. If she stops eating, I imagine its time and that death isn't far off.
How do you prepare for something like this? Shes such a sweet girl. I'm just heartbroken.
Shes not even licking my husbands beard anymore...which is her favorite thing to do...shes just so weak.
Poor kitty, I just don't know when or if to call the vet to put her down. I just don't want my lil buddy to be in a lot of pain and miserable. Ug.
Does Jezabel seem to be in distress at all? Cats often do weird things when they are close to their time, like hiding. It's very instinctual for them to do that. They can also lose bowel and bladder control. My Sara was unable to swallow food at the end.
Is her breathing very fast, is she panting or does she appear to be struggling?
Is her breathing very fast, is she panting or does she appear to be struggling?
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I'm so sorry about your Sara. Gah...this is so hard. She had a best friend (a Pomeranian) who was her best friend. It was hard enough to see him go 5 years ago.
She isn't panting but her belly is going up and down fast with her breathing...I'll see if she eats or drinks anything over the next day or 2, if she isn't eating or drinking anything then the decisions will get harder I guess. This is excruciating. I hate this.
She isn't panting but her belly is going up and down fast with her breathing...I'll see if she eats or drinks anything over the next day or 2, if she isn't eating or drinking anything then the decisions will get harder I guess. This is excruciating. I hate this.
Might want to give the vet a ring to get his thought on it. It's very possible that her time might be coming. Sara made this awful meow sound her last two days. I don't know how to describe it. Her breathing might have been a little fast, but there were so many other things going on with her at that time. She also lost bladder control.
I would just try your best to keep her comfortable. If she looks like she is in distress at all, I'd definitely take her to the vet. Otherwise, if she goes to a spot where she normally doesn't go, just be aware she might be going there to die if she's near the end. When our Ali Cat died, he went into a really cold part of the house. My mom saw him there and brought him to a warmer spot. He went right back to that cold spot, where he later passed away.
I would just try your best to keep her comfortable. If she looks like she is in distress at all, I'd definitely take her to the vet. Otherwise, if she goes to a spot where she normally doesn't go, just be aware she might be going there to die if she's near the end. When our Ali Cat died, he went into a really cold part of the house. My mom saw him there and brought him to a warmer spot. He went right back to that cold spot, where he later passed away.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
When Sweet Thing was dying of kidney failure we decided to let her go when she was spending more time at the vet's office (i.e. hospitalized) than at home. I think we waited too long, but it was just such a hard decision to make.
I would suggest that you say to your vet, "If this were your cat, would you be euthanizing her now?" This is the best way I know of to get good advice on when to euthanize.
As for being prepared, there's no such thing. It hurts like hell, no matter what you've done to prepare yourself for it. My only suggestions are to treasure every minute you have. Some people on the site have found it helpful to keep a diary of their cats' last days.
When you decide that it's time, say your farewells before the vet gives the shot -- it takes effect extremely quickly. One moment you have a cat in your arms or on your lap and the next moment she nods off, stops breathing, and her heart stops beating. "Put to sleep" isn't the euphemism it sounds like; it's actually a very accurate description of what happens. Try to be sure that you aren't alone when you do this, you need support. And afterwards, take your time and grieve properly.
Rules of thumb for grieving:
Margret
When Sweet Thing was dying of kidney failure we decided to let her go when she was spending more time at the vet's office (i.e. hospitalized) than at home. I think we waited too long, but it was just such a hard decision to make.
I would suggest that you say to your vet, "If this were your cat, would you be euthanizing her now?" This is the best way I know of to get good advice on when to euthanize.
As for being prepared, there's no such thing. It hurts like hell, no matter what you've done to prepare yourself for it. My only suggestions are to treasure every minute you have. Some people on the site have found it helpful to keep a diary of their cats' last days.
When you decide that it's time, say your farewells before the vet gives the shot -- it takes effect extremely quickly. One moment you have a cat in your arms or on your lap and the next moment she nods off, stops breathing, and her heart stops beating. "Put to sleep" isn't the euphemism it sounds like; it's actually a very accurate description of what happens. Try to be sure that you aren't alone when you do this, you need support. And afterwards, take your time and grieve properly.
Rules of thumb for grieving:
- It takes as long as it takes. This is entirely individual; some people get through it more quickly than others, and those people may say things like, "Don't you think it's time to get on with your life?" Please don't listen to them. You'll know when it's time to stop grieving, and no one else has any right to second guess you.
- It hurts as much as it hurts. Some people may say things like, "It was just a cat. Get over it already." Don't listen to them. They have no idea how you feel. And "it" was not "just" a cat. She is a member of your family. It hurts to lose a family member; if it didn't there would be something wrong with you.
- The only way to the other side of grief is straight through the middle. There are no shortcuts, and no bypasses, and if you try to cut it short or ignore it you'll never get through it.
Margret
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I am very lucky as I have a "come to my home" vet...I think I will give her a call and see maybe set up an appointment to see what she thinks... I'm so glad I found this site right now. Thank you so very much for your thoughts.
I'm sorry to hear this. She does sound similar to my Tiger's last days. Calling your vet is exactly what I would do too. The way you describe her chest moving concers me. Our current vet does house calls and it is so much more comforting than having to take them in.
I agree with
Margret
in believing its really not possible to be totally prepared. But I have found that when its time to say goodbye; I knew it. Journaling, taking photos for a scrapbook or collage, prioritizing time with them, talk to them. All these things can help.
My Tiger passes away 3 weeks after DH and I got married. We met my parents at the vet. She was clearly ready. I kind of my my body close to her and whispered to her while I stoked her cheek. She started purring and it gave me so much peace.
I've also found having a spot for burial helped me. We put 2 memorial stepstones down to mark the spots. I planned a garden but never got it done. It helped having a spot to go to. Pur family dog was laid to rest on a friends farm and she planted a rose bush to mark the spot.
Some friends have memorials in their home too. I have a few things in a curio cabinet for my soul-kitty Glory.
The most important thing is to allow yourself to grieve. Enjoy her now but when the time does come; grieve as you feel the need. Everyone is different in what that is. Confide in people who understand if you need it. Its natural and even healthy to grieve. I hope that time isn't yet; but hopefully this helps when it is.
I agree with
Margret
in believing its really not possible to be totally prepared. But I have found that when its time to say goodbye; I knew it. Journaling, taking photos for a scrapbook or collage, prioritizing time with them, talk to them. All these things can help. My Tiger passes away 3 weeks after DH and I got married. We met my parents at the vet. She was clearly ready. I kind of my my body close to her and whispered to her while I stoked her cheek. She started purring and it gave me so much peace.
I've also found having a spot for burial helped me. We put 2 memorial stepstones down to mark the spots. I planned a garden but never got it done. It helped having a spot to go to. Pur family dog was laid to rest on a friends farm and she planted a rose bush to mark the spot.
Some friends have memorials in their home too. I have a few things in a curio cabinet for my soul-kitty Glory.
The most important thing is to allow yourself to grieve. Enjoy her now but when the time does come; grieve as you feel the need. Everyone is different in what that is. Confide in people who understand if you need it. Its natural and even healthy to grieve. I hope that time isn't yet; but hopefully this helps when it is.
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When the time comes (which sadly I think is fast approaching ) I am going to do this...Home - Together Again a woman I know told me about it...she'll have a place by our dog "statue" of sorts in our back yard. Thanks again. I am just numb right now...I keep bursting into tears at moments I least expect it. Thanks again for your thoughts about your sweet animals. Just glad I'm at home right now.
) I am going to do this...Home - Together Again a woman I know told me about it...she'll have a place by our dog "statue" of sorts in our back yard. Thanks again. I am just numb right now...I keep bursting into tears at moments I least expect it. Thanks again for your thoughts about your sweet animals. Just glad I'm at home right now.
So sorry to hear about your cat Idleheid. I would agree that it sounds like the end is coming. Making the choice on whether to euthanize is a challenge. Definitely ask your vet especially since they will come to your home.
MOD NOTE: Jezabel's tribute is here: Lost My Jezabel
