Was I reading too much into this from years ago?

[tiggerwillow]

Ebony (Rainbow Bridge baby) seemed to know if a car had the word "police" on the side of it, or a police van, every other vehicle including ambulance, fire, etc she was like oh ok it's one of them is it, where they going (neighbourhood watch, feline style)

As soon as a vehicle arrived that said "police" on the side of it, her ears would go back flat against her head, she would make herself as small as she could, growl at it and would not stop watching it until it was gone, even before anyone got out of the car, even if it was just driving past the house

I am convinced she could read the word "police", other people think I'm nuts cause "cats can't read" but I don't know what else she could of been reacting to

She would flinch if my hand got too near her when the police car/van was about, in case the car or van had sneaked into the house and sneaked up behind her

Any thoughts?

 

[Hellenww]

I would guess a piece our their equipment put out a sound or vibration beyond human senses and maybe it hurt her ears.

 

[tiggerwillow]

I would guess a piece our their equipment put out a sound or vibration beyond human senses and maybe it hurt her ears.

Tigger was never bothered by the police cars though, so I not sure

 

[tiggerwillow]

I'm wondering if she had a bad history with the police, as well as recognising the word when it was writ down on the side of a police car

idk

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I would think she was picking up on the tension the humans around her felt.

 

[tiggerwillow]

I would think she was picking up on the tension the humans around her felt.

Sometimes though she would react before I had spotted the police car, I was the only human in the house

 

[tiggerwillow]

i was a bad mum to her cause i couldnt save her at the end

the cancers took her

 

[FeebysOwner]

I think something is bothering you right now, and has prompted thoughts about events in the past that you find hard to let go.

Sometimes, we just don't know what cats know/think, and likely we never mostly will. Let the good thoughts about Ebony overcome the bad and worrisome thoughts. I know you believe she deserves to be at peace, and your peace is what helps drive hers.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

Sometimes though she would react before I had spotted the police car, I was the only human in the house

Interesting!

 

[tiggerwillow]

its her anniversary tomorrow

6 years

 

[tiggerwillow]

if Tigger and Willow will be okay and not die in rescue, feel free to kill me

 

[FeebysOwner]

You have the intelligence, skills, and tools to move beyond this. Use them.

 

[tiggerwillow]

You have the intelligence, skills, and tools to move beyond this. Use them.

its always too hard every year cause I would of been long dead from suicide in 2013/204 if Ebony had never come to rescue then come to me

she literally stopped me from doing a suicide

i have a history in 2012 of suicide attempts

 

[tiggerwillow]

i always self harm on her anniversary cause i'm the reason she never came home

bad meowmy to her

 

[catloverfromwayback]

It's an anniversary. Painful, but no reason to return to those wishes, or undo the good Ebony did for you. You have TWO loving cats who need you now.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Don't shortchange Willow and Tigger. They rely on you just as much as Ebony did. She wants to see you do right by them too - as I am sure she does NOT believe you failed her at all.

 

[tiggerwillow]

I know I failed her

cause every day that I was at work I always feared returning home cause I knew there was the real danger I could find her dead on the floor cause she had a lot wrong with her, from when rescue picked her up and did all they could for her

the vet said she would not live beyond 2016, it was 2018 when she got the cancers that was the final straw medically for her

her asthma, for example, was severe and I mean SEVERE, I had to leave her on her own though cause I had to work (and still work now)

The only available person to call round to check on her did not like cats, and cause of other stuff he had done I could not trust him at mine

i think its enough to say he was involved in illegal stuff, so I could not risk him going to mine

 

[catloverfromwayback]

That is not failing her! You can't control how cancer will affect a cat. Would you tell someone else they failed their cat? Would you put blame on me because I didn't get Katie put to sleep sooner and she died of heart failure in my lap, a mere two weeks after her cancer was diagnosed? No, you wouldn't. So why put such guilt on yourself?

 

[tiggerwillow]

Willow's snuggled up beside me now, dreaming of HER magpie and blackbird pie cause magpies all belong in dream-pie cause it ends in pie, Willow says

Tigger I fear for though cause the vet said her leg *will* get worse, and I fear it'll one year be Ebony's anniversary when Tigger goes, I could not handle losing Tigger literally on the exact anniversary of Ebony

 

[tiggerwillow]

That is not failing her! You can't control how cancer will affect a cat. Would you tell someone else they failed their cat? Would you put blame on me because I didn't get Katie put to sleep sooner and she died of heart failure in my lap, a mere two weeks after her cancer was diagnosed? No, you wouldn't. So why put such guilt on yourself?

it might be my mental health issues, but I always had the thought of things like radioactiveness from banana skins when someone's put them in the bin at work, giving Ebony the cancers cause it transferred from the bin bag to me cause the banana skins touch the bin bag and the radioactiveness gets from the bin bag onto my uniform, then taken home and it got from me onto Ebony and that's what gave her the cancers

so it was my fault