Upset about my friend's kitten(He's getting declawed today..)

[minka]

*sigh*
My friend has a kitten named Lincoln. (Link for short.)
I went with her to pick him up when he was only 6 weeks old*, and helped her pick out his food and litter and what-not, so it's hard for me to not worry about him. I was there on the first day of his new life...

Things didn't start off too good; the first thing my friend's Aunt did was bathe him in cheap Walmart flea meds the second he got into her house.. I cuddled with him for the next hour because he was shivering, I don't know if from fear or cold.

Within the next few days, I found out: her Aunt returned all the wet food we bought and replaced it with dry, changed his litter (no idea why) and declared he was getting declawed when it was time for neutering. I was obviously very upset. I voiced to her that I would never declaw any of my cats but didn't say much more because I was a guest in her house and had only met her once or twice before. I instead tried to talk to my friend, but the answer was basically 'her house, her rules' and I didn't press further.

Over the next month or so, I helplessly watched as she proceeded to teach Link that hands were toys. I tried to tell her that the reason he attacked her hands when she would go to pet him was because he can't tell the difference between hands for play and hands for petting. He scratched her, bit her, attacked her legs, attacked her face, and though she would briefly complain, she would always only see him as a cuddly kitten who could do no harm. I bought him a bird on a stick toy so she would have a way to interact with him without hands, but she quickly lost it. I then bought him a kickaroo but she lost that too. It was always a losing battle. I hoped that one day she would realize that the only person he didn't attack was me. And it was for a good reason.

Yesterday his fate was sealed. Her Aunt went to pick him up to cuddle and he scratched her badly in the face, nearly getting her in the eye. His declaw appointment is today.

I was devastated when I found out. I worry that his muscles won't grow in right because he's still so young. I asked her why they weren't waiting till 6 months anymore, and I was told because of the attack on her Aunt. I put more effort into persuading her this time, but it didn't go anywhere. Later on in the day, I asked her if I could at least get him some litter that wouldn't be so harsh on his feet, she told me she wasn't sure if her Aunt would use it or not.... I was furious.
I couldn't believe that she would let her Aunt dictate what she can and can't do WITH HER OWN CAT! She tried to argue that her Aunt can tell her what to do about Link because she's the one allowed her to keep him in the first place. I don't buy it. I tried to explain to her how ridiculous that is. That I couldn't believe she had to go ask to use a new litter for a few days just in order to help him with some of his pain....

I cut my losses and told her to at least take the litter. She didn't even have to use it, just take it to make me feel better. I told her I wouldn't mention the subject anymore. Some small terrible part of me wants something bad to happen. For him to bite someone or pee all over the house so I can say I told you so. So that maybe the loss of his claws weren't for nothing. So that when her Aunt takes him to the shelter (which she undoubtedly would), my friend would learn her lesson and no other cats will have to suffer this fate under her hands...
The rest of me prays he's okay. Prays he heals quick. Prays he calms down. Prays he's not in too much pain.
All of me is crying.

 

[minka]

*He had been taken from his mother by someone else. When we picked him up, he had been living with a new family for a few days.
We picked him up on the 23rd of July for an age reference.

 

[missymotus]

Poor kitten, at least you've done all you could to educate them. Hopefully some day the US will catch up with the rest of the world and outlaw declawing so no more cats or kittens have to suffer the procedure. 

 

[minka]

He's sleeping now. My friend sent me a photo:

IMG_1717[1].jpg

• minka
• Sep 7, 2012

 

[melesine]

OMG, I seriously have to stop reading this forum. I have a little orange kitty just like that one. How anyone would mutilate a poor kitten this way is beyond me and to send you pictures? Is she kidding? I literally feel like I'm going to throw up. This is just disgusting. That poor helpless baby deserves a better. I would honestly rehome my cat to a family that I trusted to never mutilate a cat before I'd ever let someone do that to my own kitty. It's flat out selfishness IMO to bring a cat into a living situation where they will be forced to be mutilated. 

 

[minka]

She didn't send me a photo to be mean. She knows that I care about him and have been worrying. She's been updating me on how he's doing throughout the day. She sent this photo because she thought it was cute, but it makes me sad more than anything to see his poor legs bandaged up...

What's sad is she really does think it's no big deal. Her Aunt has brainwashed her into thinking this is necessary. It's her Aunt I want to punch in the face over and over again....

 

[fleakilled]

Just another case of irresponsible people owning animals. They look at them as "just animals" thats it, just a pet they can dictate and order around..sorta like a slave.

I have the problem of my kitty thinking hands are toys :/ when he was a kitten he was so cute we couldnt help but play with our hands. But now he bites scratches and claws when anybody tries to bet him. He's such a nice kitty but he just thinks hes playing when he does this and, I don't think he tries to hurt us...dunno what to do about this but I sure as hell would never de-claw him! That part made me mad. Basically her aunt set all this up. She convinced the cat attacking hands with claws was acceptable, and because of her mistake this cats claws were ripped out. Why would anybody think de-clawing is acceptable?

 

[minka]

I have the problem of my kitty thinking hands are toys :/ when he was a kitten he was so cute we couldnt help but play with our hands. But now he bites scratches and claws when anybody tries to bet him. He's such a nice kitty but he just thinks hes playing when he does this and, I don't think he tries to hurt us...dunno what to do about this but I sure as hell would never de-claw him!

The trick to undoing 'toy hand' syndrome is to make your hands as uninteresting as possible. When he attacks, either make your hand go limp or push your hand towards him, whatever works better for you. If you pull away quickly, it just reinforces that your hand is 'prey' and trying to escape. Try wearing him out by playing with other toys first and then trying to pet him. You just have to keep at it. *nods*


I think most people just don't make the connection that the bad behaviors that their previous cats had weren't because that's 'just the way cats are' or because that cat was a bad cat, but because they were altered by the mental and physical trauma of being declawed.
When I picked up the litter, the checkout lady asked how I was and I said terrible. I then explained this situation to her and she said how she feels sorry for them because they have to be in pain for a few days. I told her "Did you know that half of the relinquished declawed cats at shelters were dropped off because of litterbox issues? Because it HURTS them for life to dig in the box."
She stood still for a moment and then said "I never thought of it that way..."

I'd like to hope I made a difference from that one exchange.

 

[riccadawn]

That cat is beautiful. My heart goes out to you and him for what's going on in his life right now. 

I'm struggling with this too. I've been a cat owner for almost a year and am on my 2nd vet because I didn't like the first one. I recently took my new kittens in for their shots and the vet asked me if we would be declawing them. I thought maybe he was going to tell me what a terrible idea it was. I told him that no, we would never ever declaw our cats. And he said "oh, okay. Well if you ever change your mind, we do offer that service here too." ...and now I want to find another vet...again...because I can't imagine taking my cats to a vet who knows so little about animals that he is okay with declawing. But I live in the middle of nowhere and that vet is 35 minutes away, the next closest one would be even further.

 

[glitch]

That's terrible. Does she live with her aunt? I understand when someone is just uneducated and declaws their cat (I did that once not knowing how terrible the procedure was and how much pain and suffering it caused to them. When I picked them up from vet and watched them try to walk and suffer I layed on the floor & bawled. Then I did my homework on the situation and vowed to never put any animal through any unnecessary procedure) but it sounds to me like you educated her on the procedure & several other things & she either doesn't listen or care, or she only listens to her aunt! I can't imagine having my fingers cut off at the knuckle. I'm very thankful to hear link at least has you on his side! It sounds like you care an awful lot about him and every animal deserves to have someone in there corner! It sucks that that happened to link but at least you did everything you could to help him & educate her so go you! You made a solid effort

 

[minka]

My friend's mother just found out what happened and is quite disappointed. I'm hoping she will be able to educate her, even if it was a day too late.


And yes, my friend lives with her Aunt, that's why she has to get 'permission' from her to change his food or litter. Or in this case, to just do whatever her Aunt tells her, even at the cost of her own cat's wellbeing.
I didn't get into too much depth when telling her about declawing. She was very resistive to anything I said about it, for the longest time I just made it clear I wasn't okay with it. I did tell her the day before that "declawing is cutting off the ends of his fingers" and she said she knew what it was, but I don't think she really does. Pushing too hard and losing her as a friend wasn't worth it to me because then who will look out for Link??

 

[tjcarst]

Sadly, everyone I know who has a cat, gets it declawed.  They are amazed when they come to my house and see my cats have claws.  They think I am crazy or lucky that my cats don't bother anything.

We have a long way to go in educating everyone that this is an needless inhumane procedure.

 

[detmut]

 

[eb24]

Oh this makes me so sad, and honestly, that picture makes me feel sick to my stomach (and this is coming from someone who looks at crime scene photos on a regular basis). Poor Link has a tough road ahead of him. Certainly Minka it is not your fault and you did the best you could but I just wish your friend would have been more open minded. I understand what you are saying about not pushing too hard because you want to stay in the picture to help him. What will you do if he does have behavior problems and they then decide to give him up (other than scream 'I told you so' at the Aunt)? Would you take him? Just curious.... 

Thanks for trying and doing all you can- how frustrating that you thought you were doing such a good thing by matching up this kitten in need with your friend only to have it turn out that he may have been better off elsewhere. I would keep pushing the soft litter as much as you can (without breaking the friendship) and just keep trying to explain it over and over. Just because he is now decawed doesn't mean he's out of the woods and secure in that home. As you said, litter can cause extreme pain (props to you for getting through to the woman at the pet store) and I wouldn't be surprised if he avoids the box. I don't think your friend is a bad person, just uneducated and easily persuaded. Keep being an advocate for him- he needs you now more than ever! 

Final thought: I am taking an animal law class right now and it shocks me the cruel and horrifying things people will do to their pets. But, even with all the US anti-cruelty laws declawing is still legal and socially acceptable. What will it take to stop this archaic practice?!?!?!?!?!?

 

[p3 and the king]

The shivering after the flea dip could have been not only from cold but illness.  Flea dips are not good for cats and can cause seizures.  I feel for this little guy who looks just like my Tyrion... He will start biting because he doesn't have claws or toys appearantly since she "loses" all of them.  Thought: Are they still "in package"?  If so, she could be returning them for the money or putting them back in the packages and returning them.  Anyway, on the biting... They might decide to have his teeth pulled too.  So be prepared.  You need to decide what you are going to do for him when all their torture and mutilations come to the point of throwing him out.  I am sorry to be so harsh but that's what it will come to.  People this uneducated never are willing to learn.  They seem very stuck in their ways.  Especially the aunt.  As for the wet food, many people believe (falsely) it gives kittens runs and makes their poo too stinky for the house.  And the litter, when he has a problem with it, do you think they'll listen to you then about better and softer litter?  No.  The friend seems unwilling to listen to you.  I don't know if she just isn't a pet person or she's just putting her aunts advice before you because she thinks you're a crazy cat person and shouldn't be taken seriously.  Either way, I would cut my losses with her and just try to get her to give kitty to you to save it anymore torture and pain.

 

[minka]

Yesterday she said Link was still groggy. I'm hoping that means he's on paid meds and will just sleep through most of this.

Oh this makes me so sad, and honestly, that picture makes me feel sick to my stomach (and this is coming from someone who looks at crime scene photos on a regular basis). Poor Link has a tough road ahead of him. Certainly Minka it is not your fault and you did the best you could but I just wish your friend would have been more open minded. I understand what you are saying about not pushing too hard because you want to stay in the picture to help him. What will you do if he does have behavior problems and they then decide to give him up (other than scream 'I told you so' at the Aunt)? Would you take him? Just curious.... 

Thanks for trying and doing all you can- how frustrating that you thought you were doing such a good thing by matching up this kitten in need with your friend only to have it turn out that he may have been better off elsewhere. I would keep pushing the soft litter as much as you can (without breaking the friendship) and just keep trying to explain it over and over. Just because he is now decawed doesn't mean he's out of the woods and secure in that home. As you said, litter can cause extreme pain (props to you for getting through to the woman at the pet store) and I wouldn't be surprised if he avoids the box. I don't think your friend is a bad person, just uneducated and easily persuaded. Keep being an advocate for him- he needs you now more than ever! 

Final thought: I am taking an animal law class right now and it shocks me the cruel and horrifying things people will do to their pets. But, even with all the US anti-cruelty laws declawing is still legal and socially acceptable. What will it take to stop this archaic practice?!?!?!?!?!?

I definitely wanted to puke the first time I saw it.
I wish so badly that I could take him if the Aunt decides to get rid of him... But I live in a one pet apartment and I already have Grim.
I told my friend that I wouldn't say anything else if she would just take the litter. And I intend to keep that promise.. until something goes wrong. Except I won't be saying "I told you so" to the Aunt; I'll be saying it to my friend.

The shivering after the flea dip could have been not only from cold but illness.  Flea dips are not good for cats and can cause seizures.  I feel for this little guy who looks just like my Tyrion... He will start biting because he doesn't have claws or toys appearantly since she "loses" all of them.  Thought: Are they still "in package"?  If so, she could be returning them for the money or putting them back in the packages and returning them.  Anyway, on the biting... They might decide to have his teeth pulled too.  So be prepared.  You need to decide what you are going to do for him when all their torture and mutilations come to the point of throwing him out.  I am sorry to be so harsh but that's what it will come to.  People this uneducated never are willing to learn.  They seem very stuck in their ways.  Especially the aunt.  As for the wet food, many people believe (falsely) it gives kittens runs and makes their poo too stinky for the house.  And the litter, when he has a problem with it, do you think they'll listen to you then about better and softer litter?  No.  The friend seems unwilling to listen to you.  I don't know if she just isn't a pet person or she's just putting her aunts advice before you because she thinks you're a crazy cat person and shouldn't be taken seriously.  Either way, I would cut my losses with her and just try to get her to give kitty to you to save it anymore torture and pain.

The toys that I've given her were not in any packages. I hear from her for a few days about how much he loves them, but then the next time I come over she says she doesn't know where they are anymore. I have no idea what happens to them.
She's definitely a pet person, but she thinks she has to do EVERYTHING her Aunt tells her. I asked her if her Aunt said to cut of his ears, would she? And she said her Aunt "would NEVER tell me to do something that would hurt him". Well, we all know that's false.
There's NO way she would give Link to me. And even if she did, I can't take him because of my apartment rules.

 

[p3 and the king]

That is sad.  I know it's too late because the deed has been done.  But I would find some literature on the negative affects of declawing so that she knows what to expect (the biting and the litter issues, etc)  and she can see how wrong all of her aunts advice is.  You can find it at any pet store or you can even print it off the internet.  She needs to see from "educated" people that all of her aunts "advice" is torture and mutilation.  If she won't listen to you, maybe reading it will have a bigger impact?  I'm not accusing her aunt of being an animal abuser as people older and stuck in their ideas and ways of doing things, no matter how wrong they may be, never seem to change. The best you can do is educate your friend.  I know you've tried but she isn't getting the message.  Perhaps experts advice and reading it and even seeing pictures will change her mind.  If she's truly an animal lover, next time she won't be so quick to listen to her aunt. 

As for the toys, I had a friend like her, too.  I gave her cat da bird and stinky bananas and lots of other cool toys.  She would tell me and show me pictures of how much her kitty loved them.  Then I would find out that he never got to use them after the pictures because she "couldn't be bothered" with them!!  She even re-gifted some of them to other people because I would see them at their houses and ask where they got them at and they would tell me from her!!