Update: Three Months Later And Need Help With New Kitty

[Mickpest]

Happy Saturday everyone,
We started with reintroduction's between our two boys, Mickey and Pesto last night after 5 successful baby gate experiences that followed two weeks of separation. At first things seemed to be going well, as they touched noses and Pesto (our resident cat), licked Mickey's head with no adverse reaction from Mickey. After a moment or two though, things seemed to shift as Mickey then just laid down on the spot and seemed to be increasingly resentful and angry at Pesto's presence with ears helicoptered out and tail twitching. Pesto seemed pretty oblivious to it all. Within about 10 minutes, Mickey did a short chase, (didn't really seem like play), and we put him in time out. We let him out and within about another 10 minutes he chased Pesto under the couch with Pesto growling and hissing. Today we started slower and smaller, staying in one room and closing off all exits. It seemed better, (no chasing), but Mickey seems still angry and resentful of Pesto's presence, and Pesto did seem more leery today and stayed about as far away from Mickey as he could, as Mickey kept doing the "stare" and had a hard time breaking the fixation, even with our help. It makes me so sad as Mickey at first was such a sweet, affectionate happy, tolerant boy, and now he seems angry or edgy most of the time in spite of all the work we have done to bring him back. He has had some bumps in the road that may explain some of this behavior, but is this also due to just normal adolescence, and will he eventually get back to the way he used to be, or is this how he just is? Maybe he should be in a one-and-only-cat household?

 

[moorspede]

The first thing we always ask is whether they are both neutered, doing this can help with a whole host of behavioural problems.

Your expectations are too high. It's only rare lucky cases where cats can be placed in a room and be friends. For the rest of it it takes weeks or months of patience to get them to a point where they can tolerate being in the same room together.

Chasing is not good but it's not bad. Out and out fur flying, biting, howling, scratching fights are bad, you cannot let them do this or their relationship will be damaged and you'll have to start over again only much slower.

The thing you need to do when you first get two cats together is to distract them with a game, affection and treats. You want their eyes on you, not the other cat. Play an interactive game with a fishing pole game or a laser pointer with both cats, give them treats and affection. They should start to think that good things happen when this cat is around, he or she is not so bad.

Pesto needs to be confident to stand firm and not be chased by Mickey, he needs to be able to feel safe in his own space. For a cat, cat trees or perches near windows ie places off the ground are best for confidence, they can watch the goings on of the household and feel safe. Hidey holes on the floor are ok too as long as he goes there to be quiet rather than cowering there.
The other things Mickey needs are assurance, his domain has been invaded, he needs some alone time with affection and games and treats to build his confidence again.

If Pesto looks like he's about to pounce clap your hands or say "No" in an authoritarian tone. Be persistent and Pesto will get the idea that it is not something that he should do. Make sure you supervise them when they are together and separate them when you can't supervise them.

Time outs don't work as a punishment, separating them for a few minutes does often work because they have short attention spans. The problem is at the moment is that the cats are extremely focused on each other at the moment. You could still try this and try to distract Pesto with a game.

I really do recommend you watch Jackson Galaxy's vid on youtube about introducing cats, the introductions don't stop when the cats finally see each other and Galaxy has some great tips. It's called "The best way to introduce two cats".

This site also has some great articles, this article has references to others on the site:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

 

[Mickpest]

The first thing we always ask is whether they are both neutered, doing this can help with a whole host of behavioural problems.

Your expectations are too high. It's only rare lucky cases where cats can be placed in a room and be friends. For the rest of it it takes weeks or months of patience to get them to a point where they can tolerate being in the same room together.

Chasing is not good but it's not bad. Out and out fur flying, biting, howling, scratching fights are bad, you cannot let them do this or their relationship will be damaged and you'll have to start over again only much slower.

The thing you need to do when you first get two cats together is to distract them with a game, affection and treats. You want their eyes on you, not the other cat. Play an interactive game with a fishing pole game or a laser pointer with both cats, give them treats and affection. They should start to think that good things happen when this cat is around, he or she is not so bad.

Pesto needs to be confident to stand firm and not be chased by Mickey, he needs to be able to feel safe in his own space. For a cat, cat trees or perches near windows ie places off the ground are best for confidence, they can watch the goings on of the household and feel safe. Hidey holes on the floor are ok too as long as he goes there to be quiet rather than cowering there.
The other things Mickey needs are assurance, his domain has been invaded, he needs some alone time with affection and games and treats to build his confidence again.

If Pesto looks like he's about to pounce clap your hands or say "No" in an authoritarian tone. Be persistent and Pesto will get the idea that it is not something that he should do. Make sure you supervise them when they are together and separate them when you can't supervise them.

Time outs don't work as a punishment, separating them for a few minutes does often work because they have short attention spans. The problem is at the moment is that the cats are extremely focused on each other at the moment. You could still try this and try to distract Pesto with a game.

I really do recommend you watch Jackson Galaxy's vid on youtube about introducing cats, the introductions don't stop when the cats finally see each other and Galaxy has some great tips. It's called "The best way to introduce two cats".

This site also has some great articles, this article has references to others on the site:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

I apologize moorspede, as I hadn't linked this thread to my previous, so much information wasn't included here. We have been working on getting these two neutered males together since the first week of February, so have taken things very slow. I have watched all videos out there on cat intros and am working with a local behaviorist as well. At this point we are very upset that in the end this relationship just won't work as we are crazy about our resident cat Pesto, and have fallen in love with Mickey. We want what's best for them, and not sure if we are the right setup for Mickey as he seems to have developed a hatred/extreme fear of Pesto