Update On Bob The Feral--and Need Advice

[dbcatperson]

It’s been way too long since I posted on here and I wanted to give an update and also ask for more advice. We have a feral cat, Bob, that we took in last year. He’s been in a room trying to get him use to us. It’s been a slow process and I wanted to run this by everyone to see if we should take this next step or not.

Besides Bob, we have two girl cats, Tigger and Daisy. Bob’s room is nice and he has a cat perch that he looks out the window on and he also has a cat condo and a cat tree. There’s a gate on the doorway of the bedroom that he can see out of. The problem is Bob is still not comfortable with me or my husband. My husband a few months back was actually able to pet Bob and even brushed him but he hasn’t been able to do that since. At that time, Bob would be lying next to the cat tree so he wasn’t really feeling trapped. Now when we go in the room, he mostly goes in the condo so he’s more trapped and will hiss and growl if either me or my husband gets close to him. Well, sometimes just stepping in the room he’ll hiss and growl—but not every time. When I’m talking to Bob, he does calm down and I try doing the slow blinks at him and sometimes it looks like he does them back to me. Maybe I’m just nuts.

Bob plays with his toys overnight and he really loves these odd shape balls. I can hear him playing and talking at night. When he sees Tigger and Daisy, he gets so happy and is meowing and talking. But as soon as we come around, he runs and hides in the condo. Tigger has no problem with Bob at all. Daisy I’m not sure about yet—I think Bob is okay with Daisy but I think it’s Daisy I hear hiss when she sees Bob by the gate. That’s the one part I’m not sure on yet because I hear this overnight while I’m in bed. I want to be sure he’s okay with both girls before he can be out since he does have FIV. I do go in Bob’s room to visit him and sometimes Tigger will come in there with me—I need to push Daisy to be around Bob more.


So this is where I need advice—we are going to try and get Daisy in by Bob more this week and we thought maybe we should open the gate and let him come out of his room once we know he's okay with Daisy and Daisy is okay with him? He probably would only come out at night. We would try to block off hiding spots in our house—our house is small that we could try to do that but there are areas that will be impossible to completely block—like under the bed. I’m not sure what Bob would do if he’s out of the room—would he be destructive or suddenly go after the girl cats? Would this be a good way to get him use to us? I don’t want to make a mistake but I feel we need to do something to get him moving more and use to us. It’s too sad that he’s been in that room so long.

Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you!

 

[houseofnine]

Hi DB,
Thank you for saving Bob. He might not know it yet, but he's hit the lottery.
Every case is different, but my personal experience is that feral/semiferals are better with other cats than they are with people. We just grabbed our third feral, Aimee, right before the "bomb cyclone" hit the Northeast on Jan 5.
We have 12 indoor cats now. Two formerly feral mamas, Hanna and Marlee, came to us with their kittens. The first one, Hanna, spent a couple years in my hub's home office--big bedroom with attached small bathroom. In hindsight, we kept her in there too long. She is friendly and fine with all the other cats. Admittedly it was easier because 4 of them are her kids. I think one day my husband just left the office door open to see what would happen (this is after a couple of our friendly residents had gotten in there a few times, without incident). Hanna moseyed out and nothing happened. There was the occasional hiss, but there must have been so much scent-swapping over time that they all kinda knew each other. After almost 5 years, only my husband can pet her. She's OK at the vet too.
Fast fwd to this past summer. Second mama, Marlee..outgoing, silly, LOUD calico. She stayed in the office maybe a month. She wanted OUT of there and has done great with everyone. It was the same deal though--the friendlies got in the office and there was no strife, so we let her out of the room. I can pet her as long as it's on her terms. She'll put her head down when she's sleepy and I can stroke her cheek. (love).
Latest feral is the shyest of the bunch. This may have been a minor mistake, but if we'd left her out there she prob would have died from cold/exposure. She hides a lot--fits under the radiator. Same as your Bob, she plays during the night and has relocated her toys, and eats the treats I leave around the room. It's only been 3 weeks though. I'm hopeful.
I would say to let your girls have supervised visits with Bob, then maybe leave his room open during the day, but get him back in there at night..if you can.
Most people say that cats will try to avoid a real fight. It's usually just posturing. Plus fighting between male & females seems weird to me.
Best of luck, we're here to support you!

 

[margd]

I would let Bob come out for supervised visits before you let him have free rein of the house. That will give you a better idea of any trouble that he might initiate. As far as worrying if he'd be destructive - was he destructive in his room? If not, he probably won't be destructive in new surroundings. I say probably because of course, there is always the exception.

Your other concern is that Bob might be hostile and aggressive towards Tigger and Daisy. Again, unless he has already shown a tendency to be that way, he should probably be fine. Your plan to give Daisy and Bob more time together is a good one. Once you know how they interact, you'll have a better feeling for when to bring him out for supervised visits.

Good luck! I hope that things go well and that Bob is able to move into the rest of the house with no difficulties. And maybe, just maybe, when he sees that Tigger and Daisy accept you, he'll stop hiding when you enter the room.

 

[trudy1]

You know bob might just be one of those cats....finds his worth with other cats and if they are secure then he is.

I’ll bet after he is out and socializing for a while he’ll select one of you to buddy up with, the other of you not so much...just a hunch

 

[Debp]

Another thing...try not to stare at him or get in his space too closely as he might feel more intimidated. Instead go about what you are doing, let Bob stroll around, and I think Bob will then warm up to you. Especially when he sees your other cats responding to you without fear.

 

[dbcatperson]

Thank you everyone for the wonderful feedback. I really appreciate this. I guess our next step is to get Daisy in by Bob’s room more this week to see how they really are together. Also, to block hiding spots in the house for letting Bob out soon. Bob does seem to sleep more during the day or he does that because he knows we are around more. But then I hear him overnight with his toys and talking more. So I’m thinking he may not even venture out of the room until he thinks we are sleeping. Daisy and Tigger usually sleep in bed with us but they aren’t constantly there that they will be running into Bob overnight if he’s out.

We’ll see how this goes with Daisy and getting the house ready first.

Thanks again!

 

[shadowsrescue]

I like to have a distraction available when introducing cats as it can help if there is a scuffle. I use food rewards and a wand toy. If you notice tails swishing, ears back, growling/hissing, posturing of any sort, redirect with a food reward or the wand toy. Also be sure to stay calm.

So glad to hear you are ready for this next step. It is nice to give Bob a chance to explore and meet your other cats. He may very well need a companion.

 

[msaimee]

How long has Bob been inside your home?
The way that I have socialized a new cat to resident cats is to take a single resident cat into the new cat's room. I hold the resident cat and pet him in front of the new cat. After doing that for a bit, I try to engage both of them with interactive play using a wand toy or a laser toy. Food treats are also a good idea. I would not bring both cats into the room with Bob out once, and I wouldn't let him out of the room to socialize with them. Because if he gets into a nasty confrontation with one of them, you will have a difficult time containing him. Use Bob's room as a safe room to begin socializing them together.

 

[dbcatperson]

Thanks again for all the help. I think it’s been about 5 or 6 months that he’s been in the house. At first we had him in a kennel in the garage and then moved him in the house. When we first brought him in the room, we had the room divided in half and had a screen door and screen wall to block him—we had our computer and some clutter in the other half. That’s when I first noticed Tigger going in there and if we weren’t in the room, Bob would come up to the screen and do these quiet little meows like he was talking to Tigger. Tigger wasn’t fazed at all by Bob and would eventually just walk out. We did take down the divider in his room a couple months ago to give him more room and just have the child gate on the doorway to the hall. Sometimes I’ll let Tigger go in there when she wants and I'll stand by the doorway in case there’s trouble and then I'll hear Bob doing his little meows to Tigger when he sees her. If I go in there with Tigger, Bob just stays on the condo and keeps quiet.

I’ve tried using wands and laser pointers with Bob and he just won’t budge—he only plays with toys overnight when we aren’t around. So that part is still a problem. I do want to be sure about Daisy and that she’s okay with Bob—she hasn’t been in his room enough and I only heard the hisses overnight that is either Daisy or Bob. Bob’s room is kitty corner to the room that has the girls’ litter box in it. As soon as Bob hears someone in the litter box, I can hear him talking and he’s probably right by the gate wanting to see them. When it’s Daisy in the litter box, that’s when I’ll hear a little hiss sometimes—so it’s either Bob or Daisy hissing. I really think it’s Daisy hissing and then I hear her run down the hall but I’m not 100% sure it’s Daisy that’s hissing. I have to be sure on this before we leave the gate open at night.

Oh I also wanted to say that Bob has not shown any destructive behavior. He is such a good boy and goes in the litter box and doesn’t tear anything up. He uses everything in his room like the window perch and condo and bed and cat tree and hasn’t destroyed anything.

It’s funny when the cats are in Bob’s room, they are more interested in snooping around and not touching any treats or food. Tigger is a big hog about eating and even she rather just look around than go by the treats. I’ve tried even engaging Tigger with wand toys but she’s more interested in checking out Bob’s room. I’ve been trying to do that and pet Tigger when Bob can see us. I’m hoping that will help. I was thinking maybe I should have a hunk of cardboard in Bob’s room just in case there would be any trouble between the cats. It really seems like Bob is fine with both cats but you never know.

Well, I was just sitting in by Bob and Daisy walked in there. I’m not sure if she saw Bob on the bottom shelf of his condo but she was walking around smelling all his stuff. Bob was watching her and didn’t do anything. That gives me hope. Just so frustrating that he’s still afraid of us and will hiss and growl and just stays on the condo until nighttime. I hope things will get better the more he’s with the girl cats and once he’s out of that room.

Thank you all again!!

 

[msaimee]

Since he's been in that room for 6 months and has not shown any aggression towards the other cats or destruction of property, maybe it's time just to let him loose and see what happens. Are you able to handle him? To pick him up and put him back in his room if needed? If you can't quite handle him, are you able to coral him back into the room if needed? Sometimes you just have to rip off the Band-Aid off and see what happens. There's always bound to be some kind of drama when a new cat gets the run of the house and free interaction with resident cats. So long as none of them get seriously injured, it's best just to let them work out their territory and rank issues. There may be some posturing, a little hissing from Daisy, and maybe even some swatting,, but it should be okay., My five cats sometimes do this to each other and they have been living together for four and more years. I imagine it's kind of like having five rambunctious kids living together

 

[dbcatperson]

Well now I heard hissing last night either with Tigger or Bob. Daisy was out by us and Tigger was in the hall by Bob’s room so now I don’t know who was hissing. Tigger was always okay with Bob before and Daisy was the one I was more worried about. So now I'm thinking we need a little more time with having the cats going in his room and not letting Bob out yet. If he didn’t have FIV, I wouldn’t be as worried. I don’t know if he would actually bite them or not. It is okay for them to share water and food and litter boxes?

Unfortunately Bob isn’t comfortable with us yet and we aren’t able to go near him. Back a couple months ago when Bob would lay next to his cat tree, my husband was able to brush him and pet him. Then Bob started going in his condo when we would come in the room that he’s more blocked in and hisses and growls at us sometimes so we can’t get close enough to him anymore. I was hoping once we let him out of the room, he would get more use to us. I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong that after all this time he still is uncomfortable with us. I hope it will get better.

Thanks again for all the help.

 

[shadowsrescue]

FIV is only transmittable through a deep bite. Cats cannot get it through food/water/litter. I have an FIV male cat too. He is fine with my other boys. Most neutered males will not fight or bite deep enough to transfer FIV.