Unsure How To Read My New Cat

[cheyennes]

Hi everyone!

I'm new to the wild world of cats. Some background: I started fostering Chester, an adorable orange kitty about a month ago. He's estimated to be around 5 years old. He was a stray for a while, but I'm certain that he had a home before because he apparently had no street smarts (walking in front of cars, etc.) and adjusted immediately to being inside. A few weeks ago, he had to get all of his teeth removed due to gum disease.

The first week or two that I had him, he seemed desperate for affection, which I happily gave him. However, since then, maybe as he's gotten more comfortable, his behavior has changed and I'm having a tough time decoding it.

Chester does some things that indicate he likes me: he'll lay on me once or twice a week for a while. He usually chooses to sit in the same room as me. And he rubs his head on me and licks me often. But he also mystifies me! Last week, he was chewing my hair and when I gently brought my hand behind my head to scratch his head and redirect his attention, he sunk both of his claws into my cheeks and ran away. And whenever I pet him (I stick to his head/chin because he clearly likes this best), after several seconds his tail starts to swish and he tries to bite me. Other times when I pet him, he swats my hand away and meows. He's the most vocal cat I've ever met! He doesn't sit next to me on the couch anymore either; he prefers the floor?! I give him a lot of space, but sometimes he'll lay in front of me with his belly up like he wants attention, then decides he doesn't.

After his surgery, he has way more energy and loves to play, especially with his feather toy. He sleeps at the end of my bed some nights, but he has woken me up many times with a meow that sounds like a crying baby. I play with him frequently when I'm home, but mybe it's not enough? The rescue I foster through said he hasn't gotten along with other cats he's met, so it doesn't seem like he wants a buddy.

I geuinely love him, so I'd really like to make this work and adopt him, but I'm not sure why he seems to rebuke my attempts at affection. I'm worried that he's unhappy with me. He has been checked by a vet recently and he's healthy, so there are no underlying issues there. He is neutered as well.

Sorry for the novel! I'd just really like some insight.

 

[mudstainedcarpets]

I have the same problem! Got mine 2 months ago and she was super affectionate and would want to cuddle up against me but doesnt even lay in bed with me anymore (i dont blame her since i got her a really sweet cat bed)! sometimes she’ll decide to swat at me and I don’t know what to do in those situations...I’ve posted about it before but didn’t get too many super helpful answers except letting her cool down a bit

 

[bodester413]

I think he likes you. My cat also does a lot of the things you described. They say a cat won't expose its belly to you if it doesn't trust you, so I think he definitely trusts you too of he's doing that. As far as if he wants attention when doing it can be hard to judge. When my cat does it sometimes he'll be cool with a few pets and sometimes he'll he'll kind of grab my arm and do a few bunny kicks and get frisky and want to play. Chewing your hair sounds like he's maybe trying to groom you which is a sign of affection.

 

[KarenKat]

Hello, and welcome to The Cat Site! I would definitely say that Chester still likes you, even if he doesn't cuddle as much as before. This happened when we adopted Olive (3-yr old abandoned outside). At first she was on my lap constantly, like glue. If I was on my side, she would lay on my hip and then if I straightened out she would adapt her position to always be on top of me. After she started getting comfortable inside and with the other cats, she became more independent and wouldn't cuddle quite so much. I think initially we are their security blanket and they feel safe, but once they feel comfortable they can be a little more aloof.

As for the biting, it could be a few things. Most likely it's a misunderstanding. When I first started living with cats, less than 10 years ago, I had to start learning what indicated that the cat wasn't into what I was doing. There are certain actions that can seem frightening from the cat's perspective, and cause a bite or scratch in self defense. Generally, coming over their head from above looks at the most like an attack, or at least like you are playing. It's typically better to go slow and let Chester see the approach so he realizes it is affection.

Same with the swishy tail - the faster it moves the more agitated he probably is. If you are petting him and his tail swishes, he might not want attention or petting at that moment and it may be best to stop. Most cats dislike being touched on the paws and stomach, so unless you understand your cat very well and know they enjoy a nice belly rub I would avoid it.

Our cat Gohan writhes around and gets energized from a lot of pets and attention (he also prefers mostly cheeks/head area). If he gets too amped up, even if he's enjoying it, he will sometimes grab my hand with his claws and put his mouth around my hand in a soft bite. This is part play/part affection. He is super disciplined and rarely breaks skin, but at that moment I let my hand grow still and say a firm "no" so he realizes that is not acceptable. A less disciplined cat may be more aggressive with this.

If you haven't watched any of the show "My Cat from Hell" with Jackson Galaxy, it can be really insightful about cat interactions and how what we do can be interpreted differently. It helped me a lot when I was learning cat behavior. The "slow blink" was the best thing I learned, where you don't look at kitty directly (this is aggressive in cat language) but instead relax your face, bling slowly and then turn away (neutral and non-threatening in cat language). Some cats don't react outwardly, but Gohan will instantly trot over to strangers for pets if they do this. It's actually pretty magical.