Two cats one bully

[mrw5641]

So I have two cats and one is definitely a bully! I think it's stressing my little kitty out I say little because she is 6.8 lbs and he is 15.

Any suggestions?

Bully products that work?

 

[ArtNJ]

Ages and exactly whats happening?

To the extent the 15 pounder just wants to play (especially if he is young and/or stupid enthusiastic about play and poor about respecting signals from the other cat) you have the common big cat little cat problem. To me, the term bully doesn't fit that situation. Bully is more when one cat doesnt want to just play, play, play, isnt afraid, but still acts territorial and wont let the other cat in certain areas of the house or what not. The solutions are different.

 

[mrw5641]

Hi A ArtNJ where in NJ are you? I am in Bergen County

Big one runs after her and pins her down. She runs away. Hides. And comes right back out.

Or she's sleeping and he goes right on top of her

 

[ArtNJ]

Middlesex, near exit 8a.

Its probably playing. Its great that she comes right back out. Usually that means that she thinks its NBD and all is well. Its when they hold a grudge or seem stressed at all times that there is a problem. There is not too much you can do if the big one is just a young over-eager player. The usual stuff, try to tire him out, give her short breaks now and then (not too long or the big one will just get more eager) & if she seems unable to extricate herself, gently distract the big one. Usually with a bit more age the over-eager player will mellow some and start to respect cues a bit. To some extent, you'll always the big cat/small cat dynamic. I have that now. By 8 year old is 12 pounds and the smaller one is 8 pounds. He is mellow enough that he doesn't mind when she calls off play early, which she does every time via running off or making protest noises. But especially very young cats (and some older ones that never grew up) are terrible at respecting signals.

 

[mrw5641]

A ArtNJ sometimes he just doesn't relent and keeps going on. Feel so bad for the little one

 

[Mamanyt1953]

If she is coming right back out, SHE isn't stressed over it, except in the moment, which doesn't count with cats. That's the main thing. She's willing to engage, and confident, or she would stay in hiding.

 

[ArtNJ]

A ArtNJ sometimes he just doesn't relent and keeps going on. Feel so bad for the little one

Is your big boy around 1-2 years old? Some cats of any age can be remorseless and ignore signals, but 1-2 year olds its the norm. It usually gets much better. In the meantime, as Mamany and I mentioned, you have to have confidence that she would let you know if it was really messing with her. If she comes out in a few and acts like nothing happened, its not.

If I ever adopt two kittens again, I plan to avoid big size differences by matching genders from the same litter. Its not such a big deal, and most dont worry about it once things calm down, but the truth is that even once things settle down, your two likely wont play as much as a more closely matched pair would. (Activity levels play a huge roll, and some much bigger cats find a smaller cat terrifying, but I doubt your two will ever have that variant.)