Trust building with foster cat

[dthlo]

I have been fostering a cat for 3-4 months, she's 3yrs old. Has a lot of energy, but can get overstimulated with excessive petting though she's getting a little better.

The good: I have no problems picking her up and carrying her around (for about a minute), she definitely wants to be in the same room as me all the time, loves to explore, and once in a while she'll nap next to me.

The bad: She bats away my outstretched hand (when overstimulated), nips at ankles when she gets frustrated (e.g. when she's not getting enough attention or wants food, i think...), doesn't like having her paws touched. If I place her on my lap, she immediately runs off. Currently, she doesn't sleep in the bedroom, and will paw at it around 5am each morning.

Her preference to stay 6ft away from me (she's doing her part by social distancing) and no lap time is probably what's making her difficult to adopt. Was wondering if there are any tried & true tips to build trust with this kitty.

 

[susanm9006]

The best way to gain a cats trust is to not force them to do something they aren’t comfortable with. I would not set her on your lap but instead see if you can entice her to do it herself by giving her some good treat like wet food on a spoon or an Inaba churro when she gets close. You start out along side of you and keep bring it closer until she needs to be on you to get the treat.

 

[Jcatbird]

The previous post gives great info. Food is an excellent tool and letting the cat approach you is always best. If you allow her to sleep in the room with you, this is also a good way to build trust. She can explore you while you are vulnerable and she knows you will not pursue her or try to influence her in any way. I often lay or sit on the floor to encourage trust. It puts us more on the level of the cat and not looming above them. Slow blinks when looking at her indicates trust and no aggression. Don’t stare as this is aggressive to a kitty. She’ll feel like you are a predator. Using a wand toy to lead her near is another option. They get engrossed in play and when they realize they are standing beside you with no ill effects, it reinforces trust. Play that is very active and tired her may help to stop the biting too. If those are hunger nips, she is trying to communicate to you. Cats that lost a mother early or have not had a lot of human time, communicate as they can. A mother cat would have taught them not to bite for food from her as a kitten. A feral or stray that has gone hungry may need extra food before they realize that the food source will not go away. Once satiated and finding food is still available, they often stop obsessing on food. It takes time though. Don’t give up. I have socialized ferals old and young. Patience and time. You’ll get her there. I don’t know if she was feral, stray, etc. but the same applies to any skittish kitty. Thank you for fostering! Please do keep us updated.

 

[rubysmama]

Thanks for fostering. Here's some TCS articles that might be helpful:

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat | TheCatSite
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats | TheCatSite
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me | TheCatSite

 

[Bolts]

I had the same biting and swiping with my ex feral, and it was normally for no apparent reason, or so I thought, but it’s certainly the only way he knew how to communicate. Over the 3 months I’ve had him, I’ve kinda learnt what each bite means, I want fuss almost tickles. He’s learnt to tone it down and he don’t really hurt now, except for the touch my belly again and i will kill you. I know he’s not aggressive by nature, he had ear mites and I could put drops in and clean his ears, without any biting.
Food is the best way to gain trust, and he quickly learnt if he swiped to get food..he didn’t get any, similarly he was being sweet and loving he got a treat. He’s still not a lap cat as such but he sits near me and lays his head on my knee, which suits me fine tbh. He sleeps on my bed but like yours was waking me up for night time snacks, I got a automatic feeder..problem solved. I don’t know if yours obsesses over food but feeding him twice a day was unbearable, so I split his food over about 6 meals, and got a puzzle feeder for dried, he actually leaves some of that to graze on throughout the day, but wet food I honestly think he’d eat till he burst.