Guys, I may have lost a friend but right now I cannot apologise for what I did.
Some background - a friend here has just had an arterial bypass in his neck and has been told he needs a heart bypass too as his arteries are totally blocked after a lifetime of hard smoking and drinking. He is in constant pain and has no energy, though slightly better after the first op. The doctor has said he must never drink or smoke again and he will not be treated if that happens.
I spent the afternoon today with his partner, shopping and visiting another friend and in the course of chat she told me that she is petrified because he has said he does not care and wants to die, and is back drinking brandy. She really is at her wits end and does not know what to do. When I went back to their place this evening with her (she invited me for dinner) he opened a new bottle of brandy and had two very large glasses. I told him he was an idiot and if he could not think of himself he should think of her - not just that he might die of a stroke or heart attack at any moment, but that he might be disabled for 20 years if the attack did not kill him. He shrugged it off.
So I got up, took the brandy bottle and poured it down the sink. I started to open a second bottle that he had bought this afternoon, but he stopped me and took the bottle. So I left, first kissing my girl friend goodbye. He has since sent me an email saying I am no longer welcome in their house, though I do not take it too seriously as he was obviously drunk when he wrote it.
I was admittedly very angry when I did what I did, but I cannot say sorry. I have had dealings with alcoholics before and I know how it affects families and relationships. I also know no-one can stop them until they want to stop, so what I did was an empty gesture. I am sorry if I have lost one, maybe two friends, though I think she will not hold it against me but will see it as some kind of support.
That is all I can say - probably I was wrong, it was impulsive, but we all do stupid things sometimes.
Some background - a friend here has just had an arterial bypass in his neck and has been told he needs a heart bypass too as his arteries are totally blocked after a lifetime of hard smoking and drinking. He is in constant pain and has no energy, though slightly better after the first op. The doctor has said he must never drink or smoke again and he will not be treated if that happens.
I spent the afternoon today with his partner, shopping and visiting another friend and in the course of chat she told me that she is petrified because he has said he does not care and wants to die, and is back drinking brandy. She really is at her wits end and does not know what to do. When I went back to their place this evening with her (she invited me for dinner) he opened a new bottle of brandy and had two very large glasses. I told him he was an idiot and if he could not think of himself he should think of her - not just that he might die of a stroke or heart attack at any moment, but that he might be disabled for 20 years if the attack did not kill him. He shrugged it off.
So I got up, took the brandy bottle and poured it down the sink. I started to open a second bottle that he had bought this afternoon, but he stopped me and took the bottle. So I left, first kissing my girl friend goodbye. He has since sent me an email saying I am no longer welcome in their house, though I do not take it too seriously as he was obviously drunk when he wrote it.
I was admittedly very angry when I did what I did, but I cannot say sorry. I have had dealings with alcoholics before and I know how it affects families and relationships. I also know no-one can stop them until they want to stop, so what I did was an empty gesture. I am sorry if I have lost one, maybe two friends, though I think she will not hold it against me but will see it as some kind of support.
That is all I can say - probably I was wrong, it was impulsive, but we all do stupid things sometimes.