This cat's personality is too aloof, and sometimes way too aggressive.

[donna cardinale]

We had 3 cats until last year when one basically died of old age, and the other of cancer complications.  They were both very sweet and affectionate, and my husband and I are still missing them greatly.  The cat that is left, Newman, came to us as a rescued kitten, while we still had the other 2. He was a very active kitten, and got along pretty well with the other 2, who were very tolerant of him.  He was very active, and liked to chase the oldest one, but never caught her nor hurt her.   He is now 4 years old, and very healthy.  However, he's not anything like the other 2.  He is very aloof, and sometimes aggressive with people, and with other cats on the street.  On the other hand, he is low maintenance, which is good for us when we go on trips.  He eats dry food from a "vacation feeder" and drinks water from a cat fountain. He refuses any kind of canned food or fresh meat.   He does like to be led to where he eats, and to be petted before he eats, but will eat without all that.

We recently helped our neighbor rescue an orphaned 3 week old kitten.  We kept it here all last week to give my neighbor a break, and really fell in love with it.  However, Newman growled and hissed when he saw it, so we kept it from his sight as much as possible the rest of the week.  He was definitely boycotting its presence by staying outside even more than usual.  (He has his own little kitty door.)  He also stopped eating as much.  When he did come in, he interacted with us even less than before.  By the end of the week he calmed down a bit, but only because he rarely saw the kitten.  We kept it in the bathroom when he was in the house, or otherwise hidden from his sight.  I also gave him more treats than usual, because I knew he could smell the kitten on us.  I read that was a good thing to do when introducing a new cat.

So, last Friday we took the kitten back to our neighbor, because we could see that Newman would not adapt to having it around.  We were heart broken, though, because this kitten was so affectionate and really liked to cuddle with us.   Newman rarely even jumps up in our laps, or even at our feet if we're laying on the sofa, and when he does, we're so shocked, and pleased, that we try not to move or disturb him, and give him positive attention.  Even though, this behavior continues to be rare.

This same neighbor won't come into the house anymore to care for Newman when we're on a trip, because last time he attacked her, scratching and biting her legs.  He rarely gets that aggressive with us, but will bite "at" us if he gets tired of being petted.   I've learned to watch for his body signs to avoid that.  He seems to be very protective of his territory, especially with others from outside our family.

Anyway, (1) is it possible to modify this aloof behavior, and (2) get him to be nicer to our neighbor?  I still need her to come in to check his food and his fountain at least twice a week when we're gone.

I really miss having a cat that likes to sleep next to me while I'm reading, watching TV, etc., but I don't want to get rid of Newman.

 

[lovemyzeus]

Hmm, we had a cat, Murphy, that was we adopted from a shelter, they told us he was about 6 months old but he end up being 18 months old. We were also told he "escaped" for 4 different shelters in the area, he liked to be outside. So they recommended that we let him be an inside/outside cat. This was a first for me as I have always had indoor cats growing up.

When we first brought him home he was great with our 8 month old but I don't remember him being lovable or cuddly. As he got older, he would let us pet him until he didn't want to be touched anymore, then he would swipe at you with his paw and walk away.

I always choked his attitude up to his being "street smart" and cautious since he spent time outside the house.

He was a great mouse killer and hunter (he used to leave birds at our door) but he was never an affectionate cat. I think some cats are just that way, like people you know?

Over the years we got a border collie, Candy, from the shelter, (at one point we had 3 dogs) Murphy was not a fan but just avoided the dog(s). Candy tried to make friends many times and Murphy would swipe at her when he was done being patient with her.

Murphy was really a cool cat with his own unique personality. He  lived to be 18 years old, we asked our vet to put him "to sleep" when he was diagnosed with dementia, he was so miserable and his quality of life was questionable.

Newman may just be a different kinda cat. Have you tried to play with him? You know with a "feather on a wand" type toy?   Have some you and Newman time together that involves play time and treats, that might help.

 

[donna cardinale]

Murphy sounds similar to Newman.  Thanks for sharing.  Yes, I do play with him quite a bit.  He has lots of toys, but his 2 favorite ones is a straw napkin holder, which he makes slide all over the place, and then looses it under furniture, and my tape measure when I wiggle it around.  He refused to play when we had the kitten here, though, but he's back at it now that he's alone again.

I did just get one of the flower essences from Jackson Galaxy's website, called The Bully Remedy.  I used it for the first time last night.  He stayed in and slept in his cat bed all night, but that could have been because the nights are getting colder.  I'll let y'all know if this stuff works or not.  My neighbor that feeds several street cats will tell me if Newman continues to bully her cats or not.

Newman often will come in and curl up near us, but rarely in our laps.  He's more likely to curl up on our feet if we're stretched out.  I think he's partial to feet!  :-)

You're right, this is just his personality.  I'll be glad if this essence works, though, and he stops bullying other cats that live in the vacinity.  I not only worry about my neighbor's cats, but Newman might go against a cat that's meaner than him!

Keeping him inside at this point, though, is not an option.  We made him stay in when we went on a trip once, because a raccoon was coming in occasionally.  That's when he bit and scratched our neighbor so bad she bled, and had to use several bandages.  Since then we've trapped and relocated that whole raccoon family, and haven't had to close the kitty door since then.