thinking of getting another

[loribeth]

Like so many before me ...one cat often leads to another.  From what I've been reading, adding a second cat is usually   a good thing. I just haven't made up my mind for sure ...there is a cat at a local shelter that I have my eye on. They are over run with cats (the norm I guess) and are putting them 'on sale' this month.

I got Malachy 3 months ago - he was caged with another cat who he was brought in with.  His 'buddy' was adopted out before he was.  Mal seems quite well adjusted to being an only cat ...he entertains himself quite nicely most times.  He has been demonstrating more play aggression lately though ...not sure what that is about. He is 2 years old. I know a second cat would add to the financial burden ...but I think I could manage by making a few cut backs here & there.

 I am gone most days for 8-9 hours and usually 2-3 nights week ...so I feel like he spends too much time alone.  He is very affectionate and is always happy to see me.  There is also a chance I might be moving in a few months back into my old house ...my partner & I are  currently living separate but are very much a couple ...he is not a cat person at all. He is happy I have Malachy for a companion when I am home alone ...if I move back to the house, he will most likely be there several nights a week but not 'fulltime' ...I'm sure he would not be thrilled if I got a second cat but not sure it's up to him what I choose to do; although I should consider his view  ...I am not entirely sure what I should do, and I am fighting to resist the 'urge' ...trying to be certain which choice is the best one.

Just looking for outside thoughts ...maybe from those who can see this from the outside looking in ...thanks in advance

 

[emandjee]

Hi LoriBeth,

Here are some things to consider that may help you decide:

Are you financially stable, meaning do you have enough money saved up to spend on quality food for your cat (catinfo.org), medical expenses (including future teeth cleanings, routine health check ups, vaccinations, meds, etc) cat litter and litter boxes (2-3 with enough placements in your house/future home), cat furniture (cat trees, shelving, etc), and lots of toys? If you don't think so, I'd wait and set up a "kitty fund" account especially for these. Medical expenses will more than likely be needed at some point for your cat. Better to be prepared than after the fact. Some people even buy pet insurance to be on the safe side.

As a new cat guardian of two kitties myself since late last year, I can honestly tell you you'll definitely need to be financially stable when owning cats. The thing is, cats are true masters of hiding pain and illness so well, that if you don't keep a watchful eye of any changes of their appetites, eliminations, energy levels, and or behavior, things can get pretty costly in the end or worse. I've read so~ many sad threads where owners didn't realize until too late, and many come here to these forums asking for dire help because they cannot afford seeing a vet! Much of this stems from the food the cats have been eating, unfortunately. Have you done enough research to know what foods your cat should be eating and why? If not, this would be a good time to read up on feline nutrition. Catinfo.org is one highly recommended site, written by a veterinarian who adores cats with a passion and owns several herself. You'll definitely learn a TON about cats and tips on keeping them healthy! 

When you mention you're out 8-9 hours, it doesn't bother me so much...cats will do fine for up to 12 hours if you're out working/commuting. They're usually asleep all day, hardly any worry for being lonely.  But the 2-3 nights? Is that day and nights? Or are you working a few nights during the week? If you're just out for the evening, I wouldn't worry about it. Cats just need a regular routine schedule. Maintain regular feeding times, play times, and grooming/brusing/petting sessions and I'm sure they'll be fine.

For your play aggression problems, I'd look into wand/fishing pole toys like "da bird" or one with the mouse attachment. Never play with your hands; it'll only develop into being a very bad habit. Lasers are also great with some cats, the key here is to get your cat to absolute exaustion, usually after 20 minutes of hardcore play. He/she should be panting on their side and not able to chase anymore. Then feed their last meal/snack of the day. This trick usually drains all the excess energy levels and feeding will satiate their appetite and get them back to grooming and sleep time. High energy play will also raise a cat's confidence levels, and is a great way to bond to your animal further! 

Big stressors to cats are moving and getting a new cat, so if your schedule is mostly unpredictable, it can make the situation worse when you do move and or add a cat to your household too soon. Adult cats do not take to change easily and high stress like moving and a new addition often causes medical or behavioral issues to the felines. Have you read up on cat-to-cat introductions? There are some good tips from the "article" section on this website, for example. Just realize the older the cat, the more time it can take. And you do need to go slow and at the cat's pace, not anyone elses! Use the search feature here and read up on threads relating to cat intros and even moving to a new house/environment, too. All of these things takes hard work and effort on your part to make the transitions easier for your pet(s) and everyone else in the house.

When I adopted my two kittens late last year, I decided any pet in my home was going to be a lifetime commitment on my part. Unless I was dying on my deathbed due to a medical emergency, there is no way I'm giving my two up, even moreso now after developing such a special bond to them both. I did all the necessary research on their health, nutrition, behavior, and all the cat's needs before I got them so I knew full well what to do. I'm at a point in my life where if I'm faced with a significant other who doesn't love animals or felines at least, it's just not going to work. I'd highly suggest talking to your partner before you go out to adopt another...maybe there can be some sort of compromise? Otherwise I fear it may cause some kind of conflict in your relationship and cause a drift between you both. I'd just hate it if anyone resents my cats

... Personally, I wouldn't look at someone any further if they told me they don't like animals or are interested in getting close to my cats...my two are a big part of my life, and I wouldn't be able to simply "rehome" them for someone else's convenience.

I hope your situation works out in your favor, however, and you earnestly look into everything before indulging into your "urge". Believe me, I know all too well what that feeling is like, but I know I absolutely cannot afford more than two right now. Good luck on your future decision, know that I do respect whatever conclusion you come to. Well wishes to you all! 

 

 

[loribeth]

Thanks EmandJee for that extensive response ...you made many good points & gave me much to think about ..a few of which I had not considered.  I have been reading a lot here & feel I have good basic knowledge of nutrition ... and I am very observant so hopefully will recognize any future health issues before they become severe.  I truly appreciate the time you took in your response, thanks so much.

 

[p3 and the king]

EmanJee gave wonderful advice and I would like to add that people expect kitties to get along right off the bat.  Cats as a rule do NOT like change.  A new cat is a big change and there will be adjustment.  And there will be growling, hissing, swatting and sometimes screaming.  This can go on for awhile, even if you do everything right and introduce them right.  It can take a couple a months.  The rule is to wait a month to 6 weeks before complaining to people they hate each other.  It is very rare that 2 cats hit it off and are best buds from day one. It won't be a piece of cake.  People make the mistake of thinking cats are much like dogs and accept things instantly.  No.  It couldn't be further from the truth.  This is why cats seem to notice even the most minute details or little changes around the house or you.  

You also have to consider Malachy's personality.  Is he an alpha or is he a submissive and sensitive, is he laid back?  A best fit for him would be a cat most close to his personality match.  Two alpha's however would not be good together.  It would be a battle zone.  Because neither one would want to back down.  Other than that, get a kitty close to him in personality.

However, the fact that you've only had him for 3 months may work in your favor.  He's still adjusting.  It can also backfire.  I say if he seems fine being an only kitty, it may be OK for him being alone during the times you are not there.  But if you want to get another kitty, the best time to do so is the ages of kitten-2 or 3 yrs old.  They are more open at this stage of life.  Beyond that, they have a harder time statistics show.

 

[loribeth]

  Is he an alpha or is he a submissive and sensitive, is he laid back?  A best fit for him would be a cat most close to his personality match.  Two alpha's however would not be good together.  It would be a battle zone.  Because neither one would want to back down.  Other than that, get a kitty close to him in personality.

If he's an only kitty, how would I really know if he is alpha, or otherwise?  He is pretty energetic, but then he can be real mellow too. I have recently tried the hissing trick when he gets too play aggressive & he responds immediately to that ...so this perhaps indicates he is submissive? The shelter I got him from had him in a cage with another cat - they were brought in together as 'strays' ...they described my cat at reserved, so maybe in the presence of this other cat, he was.  He certainly wasn't from the moment I got him home.

I just feel bad when I leave for long periods of time ...and I have plenty of love to give. But he doesn't seem stressed over being alone ...and if I am away overnight, I have someone come in & spend sometime with him (I was away for 3 nights in a row last month & he did fine ...and will be again next month)  He plays well on his own - and of course I play with him too.  But often in the evenings when I'm reading or watching TV he will be batting his toys, racing around, carrying his toys & rolling around with them ...he doesn't seem to need much stimulation from outside sources. He does like to tussle though ...and that ends up involving hands (or feet) which is not smart on my part. That's where a kitty friend would be nice ...maybe a bigger 'kicker' style toy would help.  I wonder now, if I should change this dynamic at all ...I won't be rushing into it, there really is a lot to consider

 

[p3 and the king]

 
If he's an only kitty, how would I really know if he is alpha, or otherwise?  He is pretty energetic, but then he can be real mellow too. I have recently tried the hissing trick when he gets too play aggressive & he responds immediately to that ...so this perhaps indicates he is submissive? The shelter I got him from had him in a cage with another cat - they were brought in together as 'strays' ...they described my cat at reserved, so maybe in the presence of this other cat, he was.  He certainly wasn't from the moment I got him home.

I just feel bad when I leave for long periods of time ...and I have plenty of love to give. But he doesn't seem stressed over being alone ...and if I am away overnight, I have someone come in & spend sometime with him (I was away for 3 nights in a row last month & he did fine ...and will be again next month)  He plays well on his own - and of course I play with him too.  But often in the evenings when I'm reading or watching TV he will be batting his toys, racing around, carrying his toys & rolling around with them ...he doesn't seem to need much stimulation from outside sources. He does like to tussle though ...and that ends up involving hands (or feet) which is not smart on my part. That's where a kitty friend would be nice ...maybe a bigger 'kicker' style toy would help.  I wonder now, if I should change this dynamic at all ...I won't be rushing into it, there really is a lot to consider

Well, you don't count.  We're bigger than they are, so of course he submits to you.  Does he strut around like king of the castle.  A good way to tell an alpha cat is that they do not cover their poo in the litter box, even when an only kitty.

People often use the excuse that they don't want their kitty alone all day to get another then are surprised it doesn't turn out like they hoped right away.  Cats, in nature, are fairly solitary animals.  Only when house cats is their really a "pride" mentality.  True, there are "feral colonies" but mostly those ferals are not buds by any means.  They are there because there is someone or something feeding them and beneficial and in abundance so they don't have to fight for it.

What I'm saying is, people use this excuse because they really just want another cat.  That's fine.  But, just take into account all the above advise first, please.  It could be wonderful and turn out great.  Probably so.  But, it mostly likely will not be instantaneous.  It'll take work and time and they'll have to get to know each other and accept each other.

 

[loribeth]

hmmm ...he often does not cover his poop, or maybe just barely ...I think  I'm not running right out for another cat any time soon.  Definitely going to put careful thought into it  ...this has been very helpful - than kyou P3 & Emand!