They Get Along 80% Of The Time.

[SweetDemonCat]

Hi all!

I have a lovely, playful 4 year old female (Lilith) and an adorable monster of a 7 month old male kitten (Dobby), both are fixed. Lilith has always done well with other cats and when I adopted her she was part of a bonded pair. Unfortunately her friend had to be put down in the end of July due to health issues. A month later my friend found an 8 week old Dobby half dead in a parking lot and convinced me to adopt him once she had nursed him back to health.

Roughly 80-90% of the time Dobby and Lilith get along great. They play together, they cuddle together, they groom each other, they window watch together, it's adorable. The other 10-20% of the time Dobby is driving Lilith crazy. It's not so bad on the weekends because I try my best to keep Dobby occupied and tired when I'm home, but when I have been away all day he's a little ball of energy who wants nothing more than to play. Usually with his bff Lilith who is calmly going about her day. Lilith doesn't always want to play, she's 4, she's more dignified than all that and she doesn't appreciate her tail being treated like a toy. The end result is Lilith growling and hissing and trying to get Dobby to piss off, and Dobby not taking the hint. No one has gotten hurt, it's just a lot of sound and fury on Lilith's part. Sometimes it turns into normal play, sometimes Lilith bolts for safety. It doesn't seem to be stressing Lilith out, but I feel bad she has to deal with "the Dobmonster" .

So here is my question, am I better off just letting Lilith deal with it as she sees fit? Or should I scold Dobby when he ambushes her? What can I do to help make Lilith's life a little easier? I play with Dobby as much as I can (he fetches better than any dog I've had) and they both have plenty of vertical space. When I notice he's about to pounce I typically try and distract him with a toy so Lilith can dash for one of the hidey holes I have set up for her. However, I can't watch them 24/7 and I don't want the situation to escalate.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

My suggestion is to let her deal with it. I know that sounds calloused, but let's face it, she speaks Cattish very well, and is fully capable of telling little Dobby where to get off. Since they get along so well most of the time, I'm confident that the worst that will happen is that Lilith will pin Dobby down, put her teeth on his neck and let him know she's had it up to her whiskers, which is exactly what his mama would do in her place. A hiss, a cuff, a swipe, a "reprimand" bite...those are all the tools of a mama cat, and kittens get it. It is their language.

Now, when you are awake, do distract him when possible just to give her a break, but don't make yourself crazy over it. They are really doing quite well together, and Lilith is doing an excellent job of teaching Dobby to "cat."