The Wound That Never Heals

[Crazy8catlady]

6 years ago my Gizmo passed. He was 21 years old with stage 4 breast cancer. The night before he passed I thought I had more time with him. I left. At 7am the next day my dad called me and said Gizmo was up walking down the hallway trying to make it to my room. He didn't get very far. He collapsed just before he got there and with a final meow he was gone. I regret not being there. I regret leaving. I regret so many things about that day. I should have been there. I should have been holding him. I hope he knows I loved him more than anything.

He is buried outside my window between two pink crepe myrtles. It was his favorite window. I wanted him to meet my son. But my son was born 2 months too late. I still to this day think about him ever day. I miss him and his potato chip ear (he had surgery on a hemotoma). We had so many great memories. He was my first friend. I shared everything with him. He is missed so dearly.

 

[Artscats]

Rest in Peace Gizmo. You gave 21 years of love to your best friend. And she loved you every minute for it. But you know that. You always knew that. That's why you returned so much love. As Cat Daddy Jackson Galaxy said "Cats will meet you half way". For them to love you they have to feel the love you are giving them. And for 21 years you two shared each others love. A job well done - by both of you. Animals are life's greatest teachers. No one else can teach us unconditional love like they can. And isn't that why we're all here? All the major religions throughout time have taught us that. It's the only reason we are here in this world. And Professor Gizmo taught you well. Now it's his turn to rest and see you share that love throughout your world. Make him proud. Peace

 

[di and bob]

Gizmo was not alone, he HAD your love in his heart, and did for 21 years. Of course he knew he was loved, but even love cannot stop what is natural at the end of life. For him to die at home, near the people and the things he loved the best, is a wonderful gift for his soul and a tribute to your wonderful care and love that kept him going for so many years. Be thankful, for his time with you, not sad because he left. He chose to give his love to you, the greatest gift a cat can bestow, and felt your love within him just as surely as you still feel his love today. He is at peace for living a long, happy life. Do not dwell on the end, there is ALWAYS regret and for things we have done or should have done. But there is no way to change the past, just how we live now in the present. So do not weigh down his memory with sadness, with regret. He would never want that for the one he loved above all else. Just as you would never want that for him if you were the first to go.
Thank him for sharing your life's journey for 21 years, for his lifetime. Make his life much more important than his death, because that is how true love is. Carrying that love forward into the future and allowing his legacy to live on through sharing that love with others. Love will bloom and grow if showered with joy and sunshine. It withers and droops under the darkness of tears and grief.
He is safe, he is at peace. He will always be near, connected to your soul with the bond of love you forged link by link. He sends his love and comfort, and rejoices with your joys. He also feels your sadness, so send that away and seek the happiness you need to make this world, and his, a joyful place. It is what we all should seek in the name of love..... Take care......RIP dear Gizmo. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[solomonar]

Tears here.

Cats have an inner representation of the Creatures places, in their brain, not only a map of things and humans in their environment.

Therefore, Gizmo knew you were with him, no matter where you physically were at the time of returning to his home-cloud.

I also strongly believe that your child will get to know from your stories much better than from seeing him.

As Artscats said: old Gizmo did a good job growing you.

I will eat a piece of canned fish in his memory. Be strong and keep going!

 

[les26]

He knew he was loved whether you were there or not, don't worry about that. 21 years is an incredible long life, even though you wanted more, but that is really terrific! It is human nature to think back many years and think of things we should have done, but we cannot go back and change anything but it sounds like he wouldn't have wanted much to be changed, sounds like he had all that he wanted, all he needed, and is just fine now, patiently waiting until the day many years down the road where you will scoop him up and kiss his face again, and it will be wonderful.....

God Bless......

 

[1 bruce 1]

21 years of love does not disappear, ever. His passing when you were away does not erase 21 amazing years, and it does not remove your love for him or his love for you. Simply put, love does not die.
I've seen it with pets AND people who are in their final days. When loved ones are around, they hold on. They don't "want" to leave anymore than we want them to.
One of our friends was staying close to a dying family member. For hours they hung out next to the persons bed, and eventually the stress and fatigue wore them out. They walked into the bathroom and threw up. 5 minutes later, they went back to find the person had passed on. I think they did this because they knew it would be harder on that family member to actually witness their passing.
It's so hard. But we can't be with them 24 hours a day. It would make us crazy with stress. Have the regret, accept it, and let it go. Don't let it consume you.
BTW, the little potato chip ear is indeed adorable. What a gorgeous little cat.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Gizmo, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

What a wonderful thing, to share a love like that for 21 years. And never fear, he KNEW in that last moment that your love was with him. Just as his was, and is, with you. Love does not die. Love only changes form and continues on, still Love. Gizmo is with you now, and will be forever. Love abides.