I can't call anyone because my voice is choking on tears,
I have no friend to run away to because i never made any around here,
Who am i supposed to turn to appart from TCS?
I dont expect anyone to reply.. or condolences.. i have to write it down somewhere and let people read it before i make my self go crazy.
Two years ago, i started chatting to a boy, i thought he was all cute and decided to meet him, things took off from there but i wasnt expecting what he really was.
The first six months were the worst, he had kept on seeing his "ex" but in fact he was only cheating on her with me.
They finally broke off and i thought he would grow up. He had met other girls but constantly lied to me.
The first year of our relationship he had cheated on me with 7 other women all one night stands. (i did not know the others)
We still had our good times, but..
I dont know why i kept on forgiving him each time he has hurt me, but that is not to happen anymore.
He has done many good things, such as teaching me about life, and helping me move out of a bad situation at home, and making me snap out of a dream world.
Two years ago he asked me to stop wearing eyeliner, and lipgloss because it annoyed him.. so i did.. he also asked me to stop wearing certain clothes because they were revealing.. i didnt mind because i was changing clothes tastes anyway.
He has never hurt me physically, but mentally i am now a wreck.
If i didnt do what he said he would make me feel bad for those few minutes
He would go onto my msn account and send a mass message saying rude words.. i guess this is why half of my list doesnt even come online anymore.
He has put me so far down that I'm even considering to move away far away to build my self up again. But i know i cant do it alone.
I wish my mother would regain her self and quit being an alcoholic so she could be there for me.
The point is, that i feel like ive wasted half of these two years.
I scream at him why did he stay with me for so long. Why all this that i didnt deserve?
The reason for this breakup is because he has found someone else online.
He has known her for 3 weeks, she is asking him to get rid of me.. but he promises he would never do that. He is angry that she said this.
He wants to take care of me, get me a job and be stable financially.
He said that i am a very special person and that he likes me alot, but there was never that "love spark" But now he has found it with a bulgarian woman.
I told him its okay he can have her. I will be able to get back up my self with out his help.
she lives in bulgaria, and she wants to start a new life with ben in another country not in germany or bulgaria.. somewhere like australia but that is my home.
He isnt sure whether he should take the chance to meet her or stay with me.
He knows he will lose something very important but i told him i dont need to stay with someone who doesnt love me. And i will not tolerate to be cheated on again.
I feel like i am shattered into a million pieces and its going to be hard to fix again.
He told me that every man cheats, and that every woman cheats and i told him, that its not so. If you truly love someone and keep your relationship satisfied then why would you get bored?
I knew when i put the rings on in sicily it would never last. I just didnt expect it so soon.
It has been an hour that we arent wearing the ring, i feel really weird. But i know its going to be done.
I have no idea what im going to do now. He wants to live with me untill we both get our heads clear. He doesnt want to lose our friendship.
But i dont know whether i can handle this.
Sorry this is long and i cant spell nor make my sentences flow.
But i hope someone understands what i mean.
I have no friend to run away to because i never made any around here,
Who am i supposed to turn to appart from TCS?
I dont expect anyone to reply.. or condolences.. i have to write it down somewhere and let people read it before i make my self go crazy.
Two years ago, i started chatting to a boy, i thought he was all cute and decided to meet him, things took off from there but i wasnt expecting what he really was.
The first six months were the worst, he had kept on seeing his "ex" but in fact he was only cheating on her with me.
They finally broke off and i thought he would grow up. He had met other girls but constantly lied to me.
The first year of our relationship he had cheated on me with 7 other women all one night stands. (i did not know the others)
We still had our good times, but..
I dont know why i kept on forgiving him each time he has hurt me, but that is not to happen anymore.
He has done many good things, such as teaching me about life, and helping me move out of a bad situation at home, and making me snap out of a dream world.
Two years ago he asked me to stop wearing eyeliner, and lipgloss because it annoyed him.. so i did.. he also asked me to stop wearing certain clothes because they were revealing.. i didnt mind because i was changing clothes tastes anyway.
He has never hurt me physically, but mentally i am now a wreck.
If i didnt do what he said he would make me feel bad for those few minutes
He would go onto my msn account and send a mass message saying rude words.. i guess this is why half of my list doesnt even come online anymore.
He has put me so far down that I'm even considering to move away far away to build my self up again. But i know i cant do it alone.
I wish my mother would regain her self and quit being an alcoholic so she could be there for me.
The point is, that i feel like ive wasted half of these two years.
I scream at him why did he stay with me for so long. Why all this that i didnt deserve?
The reason for this breakup is because he has found someone else online.
He has known her for 3 weeks, she is asking him to get rid of me.. but he promises he would never do that. He is angry that she said this.
He wants to take care of me, get me a job and be stable financially.
He said that i am a very special person and that he likes me alot, but there was never that "love spark" But now he has found it with a bulgarian woman.
I told him its okay he can have her. I will be able to get back up my self with out his help.
she lives in bulgaria, and she wants to start a new life with ben in another country not in germany or bulgaria.. somewhere like australia but that is my home.
He isnt sure whether he should take the chance to meet her or stay with me.
He knows he will lose something very important but i told him i dont need to stay with someone who doesnt love me. And i will not tolerate to be cheated on again.
I feel like i am shattered into a million pieces and its going to be hard to fix again.
He told me that every man cheats, and that every woman cheats and i told him, that its not so. If you truly love someone and keep your relationship satisfied then why would you get bored?
I knew when i put the rings on in sicily it would never last. I just didnt expect it so soon.
It has been an hour that we arent wearing the ring, i feel really weird. But i know its going to be done.
I have no idea what im going to do now. He wants to live with me untill we both get our heads clear. He doesnt want to lose our friendship.
But i dont know whether i can handle this.
Sorry this is long and i cant spell nor make my sentences flow.
But i hope someone understands what i mean.