- Joined
- Sep 29, 2005
- Messages
- 108
- Purraise
- 1
sunday morning, she wasn't breathing right. but then a few minutes later, she was. we thought she was just congested and trying to purr at the same time.
later that day, she didn't want to be held. she just laid down where she was and started breathing through her mouth. still purring, though.
i didn't want to wait until monday morning to take her to the vet. we rushed her to the er vet. they did blood work, took x-rays and did ultrasounds.
dh & i waited.
the vet came out and said, "come with me. i want you to see the x-rays."
she was filled with fluid in her chest cavity, around her heart and in her abdomen.
the first thing the vet said was, "we have a few options. first, we can put her to sleep, but you know that already. second..."
and i started sobbing. and sobbing. and nothing could make it stop.
i squeaked out, "no more options. just put her to sleep. i don't want her suffering. just put her to sleep."
papers to fill out. forms to initial. payment to be made.
and then they let us have a few minutes with her before she would cross the rainbow bridge.
she was so small. five pounds. wrapped in a blanket to keep her warm. we stroked her nose. dh rubbed her under her chin (only he could do that the right way. mommy never could master that). we told her we loved her. i kissed her up and down her back, the way i always did. told her she was mommy's good girl, and her tail quivered...i knew she understood me. she was my good mabel baby. again, her tail quivered.
the vet came and took her out of the room to catheterize her front paw.
when she came back in, she asked if i wanted to hold her. i didn't. i didn't want to hold her. i didn't want to be there at all. but i held her. and daddy held her head. and soon, there wasn't any more pink liquid in the syringe.
i asked how long it would take.
and the vet said, "she's already gone."
oh, my god. so quick. and i hope so painless for my baby.
i hope she knows i'm sobbing as i type this. and i hope she knows it was the last thing we wanted to do. and i hope she knows that she'll always be my mabel baby.
and the house is so empty.
and there's no mabel, waiting for me when i come home, doing her 'pet me' dance at the top of the stairs.
and there's no mabel, dancing around my feet as i make her breakfast.
and there's no mabel, sitting in the bay window, watching the cars go by.
but i know she's over the rainbow bridge, and i hope she's healthy and young and pain free.
i miss her.
later that day, she didn't want to be held. she just laid down where she was and started breathing through her mouth. still purring, though.
i didn't want to wait until monday morning to take her to the vet. we rushed her to the er vet. they did blood work, took x-rays and did ultrasounds.
dh & i waited.
the vet came out and said, "come with me. i want you to see the x-rays."
she was filled with fluid in her chest cavity, around her heart and in her abdomen.
the first thing the vet said was, "we have a few options. first, we can put her to sleep, but you know that already. second..."
and i started sobbing. and sobbing. and nothing could make it stop.
i squeaked out, "no more options. just put her to sleep. i don't want her suffering. just put her to sleep."
papers to fill out. forms to initial. payment to be made.
and then they let us have a few minutes with her before she would cross the rainbow bridge.
she was so small. five pounds. wrapped in a blanket to keep her warm. we stroked her nose. dh rubbed her under her chin (only he could do that the right way. mommy never could master that). we told her we loved her. i kissed her up and down her back, the way i always did. told her she was mommy's good girl, and her tail quivered...i knew she understood me. she was my good mabel baby. again, her tail quivered.
the vet came and took her out of the room to catheterize her front paw.
when she came back in, she asked if i wanted to hold her. i didn't. i didn't want to hold her. i didn't want to be there at all. but i held her. and daddy held her head. and soon, there wasn't any more pink liquid in the syringe.
i asked how long it would take.
and the vet said, "she's already gone."
oh, my god. so quick. and i hope so painless for my baby.
i hope she knows i'm sobbing as i type this. and i hope she knows it was the last thing we wanted to do. and i hope she knows that she'll always be my mabel baby.
and the house is so empty.
and there's no mabel, waiting for me when i come home, doing her 'pet me' dance at the top of the stairs.
and there's no mabel, dancing around my feet as i make her breakfast.
and there's no mabel, sitting in the bay window, watching the cars go by.
but i know she's over the rainbow bridge, and i hope she's healthy and young and pain free.
i miss her.