The Bully And The Baby

[ScarDex]

Hi all!
About 2 months ago my husband and I adopted a brother and sister, 10 weeks old. They were great together. Now all of a sudden our boy, who is significantly larger than our girl, is bullying her terribly. She is a shy, timid girl to begin with and he is very rambunctious. He beats her up, she screams cries and hisses. She is even more timid and jumpy now. And is starting to not eat well. Her body language is so tense all the time. Any thoughts on what to do? Both are spayed/neutered. We have multiple litter boxes. Feed them separate. We’re at a loss right now.

 

[FelisCatus]

Hi, do you have any videos of their interactions?

Have you tried a pheromone diffuser that is formulated for a multi-cat home?

Has she been sick recently or had any vet visits after the spay?

 

[ScarDex]

I do not have any videos because I try to break them up immediately.
She was spray before we got her and they have been to the vet twice to get an initial check up and vaccines. Both times vet said they are perfect. The bad fighting has started recently within the last two weeks or so.

I will be buying the pheromones this weekend to test that out and see how it works.

 

[DreamerRose]

I've got a bully and a babe, too. The Feliway will help a lot. I only break my two up when Lily starts reacting like she's really upset because most of the time, they are just playing. But Mingo can get very nasty, especially when he's hungry. Watch your bully and see if there is a particular trigger that you can avoid.

 

[danteshuman]

Is it possible he is attacking her because of re-directed aggression because of new cats/foxes/dogs/raccoons/possums invading your cat's territory outside?

 

[ScarDex]

I've got a bully and a babe, too. The Feliway will help a lot. I only break my two up when Lily starts reacting like she's really upset because most of the time, they are just playing. But Mingo can get very nasty, especially when he's hungry. Watch your bully and see if there is a particular trigger that you can avoid.

— I’m glad I’m not the only one it’s so difficult. I mostly break them up when it gets really bad. She’s not really interested in play with him I think because he does get so nasty. I’m really hoping the Feliway will help. It seems to happen sporadically but they are on a tight feeding schedule so I don’t think he’s hungry. Will try and see if I can pin point some triggers! Thank you so much.

 

[ScarDex]

Is it possible he is attacking her because of re-directed aggression because of new cats/foxes/dogs/raccoons/possums invading your cat's territory outside?

— it’s always possible but I don’t believe so. We live in a quiet neighborhood and have a fenced in backyard. They’re too small to really be at the windows right now.

 

[di and bob]

Females naturally get prissy and don't want to play anymore as they get older. He needs redirected to something else. Throw a treat towards him if you see him stalking. Get two kickeroos at Amazon and keep one in a bag with catnip, throw it towards him or in between him when he is stalking. Exchange them often to keep them fresh. They are irresistible and get rid of a lot of pent up aggression. Screaming, tussling and hair flying are all pretty much natural, only intervene when the little girl gets really upset. Tell him NO loudly and if you have to, pin him to the ground for a few seconds by the skin on the back of his neck. That is what mama cats do for kittens that get too rough. If there is no blood and no deep bites it is normal.

 

[ScarDex]

Females naturally get prissy and don't want to play anymore as they get older. He needs redirected to something else. Throw a treat towards him if you see him stalking. Get two kickeroos at Amazon and keep one in a bag with catnip, throw it towards him or in between him when he is stalking. Exchange them often to keep them fresh. They are irresistible and get rid of a lot of pent up aggression. Screaming, tussling and hair flying are all pretty much natural, only intervene when the little girl gets really upset. Tell him NO loudly and if you have to, pin him to the ground for a few seconds by the skin on the back of his neck. That is what mama cats do for kittens that get too rough. If there is no blood and no deep bites it is normal.

— will get some kickaroos! Anything to help. She’s just a shy girl and he is not. They’re only 4 months old. I do tell him no but I haven’t tried the scruff yet. Will work with that! We’ve had blood one time during a fight but none since. I partially think he doesn’t realize how much larger he is than her and how rough he is being but she wants no interested in playing with him either.

 

[FeebysOwner]

And, if pinning him down after firmly telling him "no" doesn't seem to work, you can instead tell him "no" and pick him up and put him down in another room - sort of a like a time out. No other interaction, and then just ignore him for a bit.

Also, if the Feliway doesn't work, there are other calming products you can try. One of them is Bach Rescue Remedy, which are drops you can rub into a cat's ear. Some people use them to soothe/calm cats that don't like vet trips. You can search for 'calming products for cats' and find other options as well.

 

[danteshuman]

Perhaps he needs ti do his hunting outside? Can you trainhim to take a daily harness walk? My bully well he was a punk his entire life. The only thing that helped him to stop bugging his brother was outside hunting. His extra energy had to go somewhere.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Perhaps he needs ti do his hunting outside? Can you trainhim to take a daily harness walk? My bully well he was a punk his entire life. The only thing that helped him to stop bugging his brother was outside hunting. His extra energy had to go somewhere.

That should certainly help burn off some energy!! If you are not up to the idea of harnessing and walking him, you could consider a catio in your backyard and put him out there for a while each day.

 

[FelisCatus]

Did you end up buying a Feliway pheromone diffuser kit? Make sure it was the multi-cat one.

Keep in mind when you do it does take a few hours/days/weeks before you notice a change. All cats are different.

 

[ScarDex]

And, if pinning him down after firmly telling him "no" doesn't seem to work, you can instead tell him "no" and pick him up and put him down in another room - sort of a like a time out. No other interaction, and then just ignore him for a bit.

Also, if the Feliway doesn't work, there are other calming products you can try. One of them is Bach Rescue Remedy, which are drops you can rub into a cat's ear. Some people use them to soothe/calm cats that don't like vet trips. You can search for 'calming products for cats' and find other options as well.

We do have some other calming remedies at home that we try but I have been looking into others as well! Thanks for the recommendation

 

[ScarDex]

Perhaps he needs ti do his hunting outside? Can you trainhim to take a daily harness walk? My bully well he was a punk his entire life. The only thing that helped him to stop bugging his brother was outside hunting. His extra energy had to go somewhere.

We could try that. He doesn’t like collars but maybe the harness he would do better! Thanks for the tip!

 

[ScarDex]

Did you end up buying a Feliway pheromone diffuser kit? Make sure it was the multi-cat one.

Keep in mind when you do it does take a few hours/days/weeks before you notice a change. All cats are different.

My husband bought the spray today. We aren’t going to do the diffusers because I’ve read tons of reviews and had personal friends tell me they are fire hazards

 

[FelisCatus]

My husband bought the spray today. We aren’t going to do the diffusers because I’ve read tons of reviews and had personal friends tell me they are fire hazards

Yeah I’ve heard that too, but then again I unplug them when no one is at home.

Let us know how the spray goes.

 

[Kflowers]

He's right not to like collars. One good lunge - as when something frightens him could do permanent damage to his throat. Harnesses are the better way to go, one that doesn't cross his throat. But be prepared, he may take off running, pulling against his harness and leash. Dogs, other cats, and coyotes may give chase. Loud noises - cars, trucks, small or larger boys, things you can't prepare for may happen. If I were you, and I've harness walked a cat twice, I'd take a smaller cat carrier with me in case you need to box him and quickly remove him from a situation.

 

[danteshuman]

I like the kitty holster cat harness. My cats seem to not mind the vest as much as the traditional harnesses. I'm working on getting my kitten used to a harness inside then I will try right outside the door; working my way up to walks. I will try bringing his carrier with m, when he first goes on a walk, just in case.

Good luck with your kitty walks.