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RECIPE – “Best Rum Cake Ever”
(JOKE Recipe–this recipe has been checked for typos…there are none.)
Ingredients:
1 or 2 quarts rum
1 tsp. baking powder (not gun)
4 C flour
1 tsp. favorite essence
1 C butter
1 tsp. baking soda (unflavored)
1 C sugar
lemon juice
2 large eggs
brown sugar
1 C dried fruit & nuts (no bolts)
Directions:
- Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn’t it? Now go ahead.
- Select a mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc., Check the rum again; it must be just right.
- To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat this step.
- Then with an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter into a large fluffy bowl.
- Slowly add 1 cup thugar and beat well.
- Meanwhile, make sure the rum is still of the highest quality. Try another cup.
- Open 2nd qt. if necessary.
- Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of our, and 1 cup of fried druit and beat until high.
- If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Sample the rum again, testing for tonscisticity.
- Next, sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn’t matter). Sample the rum again.
- Sift 1/2 pt. lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
- Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.
- Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees.
- Now pour the whole mess into the oven and ake.
- Check the rum again and bo to ged.
~ Unknown
(as modified by Auntie)