Looks like I have messed it up for my cats and it's been only going downhill for the past month
I will try to describe our situation best I can. It may get long, sorry for that.
As I wrote in my thread introducing our little family to the board, one of my 2 cats, Toto, passed away in April, at the age of 13. His life long bbf cat girl Sissi (about same age) and me were sitting in a heavy silence and misery for one week straight.
Then I went to MDAS and brought home Teddy, a 2 y.o. neutered male cat, announced as stray.
He is definitely not a feral cat, I believe he once had a home. Teddy was shy and scared for the first couple of days maybe, then bonded to me and to the home in no time. He has been nothing but joy and love, so happy in his new home, and so excellent with the litter box, eating, everything. Except with sharing his new home with the resident senior Lady Sissi.
I have rushed it, I admit. It was going so well... Sissi was initially very friendly and curious, so I let her come into Teddy's room after a couple days. The cats sniffed each other, both curious, no hissing, so I thought "wow, this is amazing", and I let Teddy out, end of introduction.
In the beginning they were doing fine together, though she was not so happy for Teddy coming too close and hissed if he tried to play, but no fights. I was searching all over the places on the internet, and most said "Give it time". So I waited and did nothing, just babysitting cats and supervising for a couple of months.
Things have been gradually getting worse: first Teddy managed to get Sissi permanently out of my bedroom, just by staring at her (it is mostly psychological between these 2, they have never had a real fight). She was trying to stay, I was trying to make her stay, but she was too afraid of Teddy's intimidating look and left the 2nd floor for good (my bedroom, guestroom, hallway and laundry room).
Then the past month Teddy started to take over the living room where we all spend most of the time. Sissi started spending days and nights on a dining chair under the table, then jumping from there up on a sideboard and up on a cabinet. I placed a basket on the cabinet so she would have a safe retreat when needed. Then she stopped playing with us, and left her spot on the cabinet only for meals, toilet, or a short nap on a screened patio.
Now Teddy has gotten her out of the patio too... and she is also afraid to use any of the litter boxes placed around - no matter how many boxes I place and how much I turn the house into one big toilet.
Teddy on his side is not relaxed anymore either, because he has to check and supervise the territory and making sure she is not to see, or he will stare back on the cabinet. So he is cruising between his tower in the living room, and the porch all the time.
Fortunately neither of the cats have had any accidents outside the box, I believe it is due to many Feliway diffusers going on constantly throughout the house since Teddy's arrival.
But she is scared of him. Not scared as the tail like a toilet brush, but scared and giving up on all of the space.
Yesterday she had to go to the litter box, but was too afraid. She was cruising around one in the hallway downstairs, coming closer, getting in and out, till I sat down on a bench next to and guarded her. She is barely walking on the floor anymore, except meal times - she has been living up on the cabinet for a month now, sneaking to a litter box at night when he is sleeping in bed with me and having time of his life.
That was the final alarm for me and a realization that what is going on, is by far no good.
Teddy is now back upstairs in his initial room, and I am thinking: now what?
I have red about proper introduction hundreds of times, but can not go by the book for the following reasons:
- there is no way she will eat by the door on the 2nd floor. Her eating place has been the kitchen for almost 14 years. I have tried, she is not even interested in going upstairs anymore.
- they have been eating side by side in the kitchen for the past 3 1/2 months with no problems. They do not have problems eating together or smelling each other, she can even eat from his bowl and vice versa. They already associate meal times as good time together - the only good time together, it is all the other time that the territory terror occurs.
- I have been weak and impatient, feeling sorry for Teddy. I have tried to let him stay in his room a few times, with big plans on counter conditioning, but then couldn't take him sitting there alone and let him out again... this is something I can work on and stop wiggling back and forth. The thing is also, because of my lack of persistence, Teddy perceives each time in his room now as a punishment and rejection, he gets sad and just wants out all the time.
So what do I do from here, I have no idea
I will try to describe our situation best I can. It may get long, sorry for that.
As I wrote in my thread introducing our little family to the board, one of my 2 cats, Toto, passed away in April, at the age of 13. His life long bbf cat girl Sissi (about same age) and me were sitting in a heavy silence and misery for one week straight.
Then I went to MDAS and brought home Teddy, a 2 y.o. neutered male cat, announced as stray.
He is definitely not a feral cat, I believe he once had a home. Teddy was shy and scared for the first couple of days maybe, then bonded to me and to the home in no time. He has been nothing but joy and love, so happy in his new home, and so excellent with the litter box, eating, everything. Except with sharing his new home with the resident senior Lady Sissi.
I have rushed it, I admit. It was going so well... Sissi was initially very friendly and curious, so I let her come into Teddy's room after a couple days. The cats sniffed each other, both curious, no hissing, so I thought "wow, this is amazing", and I let Teddy out, end of introduction.
In the beginning they were doing fine together, though she was not so happy for Teddy coming too close and hissed if he tried to play, but no fights. I was searching all over the places on the internet, and most said "Give it time". So I waited and did nothing, just babysitting cats and supervising for a couple of months.
Things have been gradually getting worse: first Teddy managed to get Sissi permanently out of my bedroom, just by staring at her (it is mostly psychological between these 2, they have never had a real fight). She was trying to stay, I was trying to make her stay, but she was too afraid of Teddy's intimidating look and left the 2nd floor for good (my bedroom, guestroom, hallway and laundry room).
Then the past month Teddy started to take over the living room where we all spend most of the time. Sissi started spending days and nights on a dining chair under the table, then jumping from there up on a sideboard and up on a cabinet. I placed a basket on the cabinet so she would have a safe retreat when needed. Then she stopped playing with us, and left her spot on the cabinet only for meals, toilet, or a short nap on a screened patio.
Now Teddy has gotten her out of the patio too... and she is also afraid to use any of the litter boxes placed around - no matter how many boxes I place and how much I turn the house into one big toilet.
Teddy on his side is not relaxed anymore either, because he has to check and supervise the territory and making sure she is not to see, or he will stare back on the cabinet. So he is cruising between his tower in the living room, and the porch all the time.
Fortunately neither of the cats have had any accidents outside the box, I believe it is due to many Feliway diffusers going on constantly throughout the house since Teddy's arrival.
But she is scared of him. Not scared as the tail like a toilet brush, but scared and giving up on all of the space.
Yesterday she had to go to the litter box, but was too afraid. She was cruising around one in the hallway downstairs, coming closer, getting in and out, till I sat down on a bench next to and guarded her. She is barely walking on the floor anymore, except meal times - she has been living up on the cabinet for a month now, sneaking to a litter box at night when he is sleeping in bed with me and having time of his life.
That was the final alarm for me and a realization that what is going on, is by far no good.
Teddy is now back upstairs in his initial room, and I am thinking: now what?
I have red about proper introduction hundreds of times, but can not go by the book for the following reasons:
- there is no way she will eat by the door on the 2nd floor. Her eating place has been the kitchen for almost 14 years. I have tried, she is not even interested in going upstairs anymore.
- they have been eating side by side in the kitchen for the past 3 1/2 months with no problems. They do not have problems eating together or smelling each other, she can even eat from his bowl and vice versa. They already associate meal times as good time together - the only good time together, it is all the other time that the territory terror occurs.
- I have been weak and impatient, feeling sorry for Teddy. I have tried to let him stay in his room a few times, with big plans on counter conditioning, but then couldn't take him sitting there alone and let him out again... this is something I can work on and stop wiggling back and forth. The thing is also, because of my lack of persistence, Teddy perceives each time in his room now as a punishment and rejection, he gets sad and just wants out all the time.
So what do I do from here, I have no idea