Terrified kitten

[enendawson]

My husband and I adopted a 12 week kitten about a month ago from our local Petsmart (to be a companion to our nearly year old calico).  She is from a shelter and was turned in by a family whose cat had kittens and they ended up with too many kittens.  I did a phone interview to adopt her, and the woman who runs the shelter informed me that her brothers and sisters and her were not socialized at all.  Through "forced" holding, she said the kittens came around.  Suzi (the name we gave her) was the only kitten left to be adopted, and I felt so sorry for her.

I wasn't too concerned at first about how scared she was of us.  She hisses at us and generally runs away, but she doesn't bite or scratch us (she only scratches accidentally trying to jump down if we try to hold her, which I understand).  She is completely in love with our other kitten, and our other kitten is completely fine with Suzi laying with her, playing with her, and following her around.  We're very glad for that, since we wanted another kitten to be a companion for the older one.

But now, it's been a month, and Suzi is almost just as frightened of us.  Every now and then, if Laufeia (the other kitten) is around or if she is eating, she will let us pet her.  Most of the time, she is still running away and hissing.  She hides a lot (we put a bell collar on her to at least hear where she is because she disappeared in the house one day), but she is getting better about roaming the whole house.

I can't say 100% what happened to Suzi, but in our area, we've heard a lot of news about animal abuse in groomers, vets, shelters.  Two groomers and a vet office were shut down in just the last few months.  We fear that Suzi may have been mistreated.  We've tried giving her special treats, holding her, and giving her space.  We are still too scary for her.  She meows for our other kitten more than food or our attention. 

Does anyone have any advice how we can work to gain Suzi's trust better?  I don't like the idea of forcing her to be held, but I have a couple of times, and she sits pretty well for a little, meowing to be let go.  I don't think that's the right approach at all, even if the shelter says the other kittens benefited from that.  Laufeia loves everyone, even strangers.  So this experience is night and day.  I want her to be as comfortable as Laufeia is with us.  I certainly wouldn't want to live in the house of frightening giants...

 

[yayi]

I disagree with the shelter. Perhaps it worked for them considering all the animals they have to care for and the need to find them homes which may necessitate desperate measures like "forced" holdings. 

Since you have given Suzi her forever home, you now need to be patient. Let Suzi call the shots. Pet her when she wants to be. Don't wait for her to meow to let go. 

There is also the chance that being so close to Laufeia, Suzi might pick up some of her friend's easy going attitude, who knows? 

 

[katluver4life]

Do you have a small room you can confine her in? Usually when bringing in a new kitten or cat to your home, they should be confined for a time so they can get acclimated to you and the new environment. The room should have everything she needs, food, water, toys, and litter box. You can then spend time with her, letting her slowly get used to you. Sit on the floor, read to her, speak softly, play soft classical music, offer her treats and play, letting her set the pace. When feeding her, gently pet her, she will learn petting is good cause food is good. She needs to have this time with you and any other member of the house. This is the quickest way to get her to realize you are not to be feared. Do not force her to be held. Pick her up, give her a quick kiss or pet, and put her right down again.

 

[otto]

Let her progress in her own time. Don't force her to be held or to have contact with you, that only increases her feeling that humans are to be avoided. Let her enjoy her big sister and get used to it all. A month is a very short time for a cat to adjust. I realize kittens usually don't need much time, but this young girl is a special case. I'm glad she is with you where she will be allowed to get used to things at her own pace. Please keep us posted.

 

[enendawson]

We didn't have any room to confine her to, but when we first brought her home, we set up a kennel meant for large dogs for her.  Unfortunately, it was hard to keep her alone.  We have two roommates (but we're moving on our own soon).  We had put a box in it for her to hide when she wanted though.  I think that's how Laufeia got to be so good with her.  They would look and sniff and paw at each other.  We haven't put her back in the kennel for awhile. 

There was a little progress today, both with my husband and me.  I sat on the floor near Laufeia's favorite chair, and Suzi jumped up to lay with her, so I started petting Laufeia.  Suzi didn't run away, and she let me pet her after a little.  And when my husband came home from work, she was laying in the chair alone, even let him walk up to her and pet her.  She didn't even hiss!

I may try picking her up for just small intervals too.  Thanks for the advice!  Hope she still lets us pet in a few hours.

 

[catspaw66]

Don't try picking her up just yet. Some cats do not like to be picked up. Julie will sit in my arms and purr, but if I pick Sugar up, she complains and then struggles to get free. Let Suzi get used to you at her own pace.  If she wants to be picked up, she will start giving you little clues, like stretching up your leg and pawing at your hand.

 

[di and bob]

I think you and her are doing fine. Be patient and calm, she'll come around. I think it will take more like a year for her to completely calm down, but it will happen! Good luck!

 

[enendawson]

Just wanted to give a little update.  Laufeia, Suzi, my husband, and I have been living in our own apartment for almost a month now.  The girls adjusted like champs.  And their daddy, Mr. I-Don't-Like-Cats is spoiling them.

Suzi is really liking my husband, but I guess that's just because she sees Laufeia jump on him all day.  She tries to jump in his lap while Laufeia is on his chest, but Laufeia smacks her down.  She doesn't share her man.  Just recently, I started giving Suzi a tiny crumb of cheese when I cut a piece.  It doesn't earn me much love - just a big, ol fluff crawling over my books and lap, and her big sister wondering where her own bit is. Suzi has started coming out of hiding more often, but she still doesn't like to be held.  If I give her a treat, she'll sit for a little.  I guess she may never like to be held.  She's even more vocal in our new place.  And bold.  I get a good bit of whining from Suzi if I don't feed them before 8 am.  And if they're not fed by 8, I've gotten a run-by foot smacking. 

I would have liked to have a cat as upfront and affectionate as Laufeia, but I have no regrets adopting Suzi.  She's just her own type of cat.  And her own type of goofy self.