teenage kitten, strife at my house

[lauren_miller]

I've posted about Lilly before and unfortunately things have gotten much worse.. She's always been a biter since she was 8 weeks old from day one coming home from the shelter. It's not improving at all. I don't know what to do! My husband is getting really fed up with her and I need to make her understand that biting is not acceptable but I don't know how to get that point across. Clapping hands and telling her no doesn't work, water doesn't work, ignoring her doesn't work. I've been trying to fix her for 6 months and I need some suggestions. It's causing some major blow ups between my husband and me, lots of strife. You can't really touch her at all without getting bitten and I don't know what to do.

I've been trying to clicker train her but I haven't gotten very far with that. She just seems so angry all the time with the airplane ears. I am trying to stay positive and think that this is just teenager behavior, but I'm scared she will be like this forever.

 

[sk_pacer]

What has worked for kittens I have had was yelling OWWWW when they bite and it seems to work. Enough repetition and a soft owwww stops the nonsense and even the 'bad and evil' baby has learned not to bite when I say ow and isn't 6 months yet and is in the middle of teething. The thing is, they want to play and kittens play with claws and teeth, so yelp ow at the bite and take the hand away.......and it has to be both of you...the training has to be consistant from the whole household.

 

[c1atsite]

Is she biting the other cats as well?

 

[GoldyCat]

I have one biter. The only thing that worked for her was to say "OW!" very loudly, then say "NO!" or "No bites!" and tap her lightly on the nose, then hold her mouth shut for a few seconds. It took a little while, but she hasn't bitten me (much) for the last 2+ years. The only time she bites now is when her food dish is completely empty, just a little nip to remind me. And no, I do not immediately fill her dish--that would be rewarding her for biting. She has to wait until the scheduled time.

Whatever you decide to do, it has to be consistent. Both of you do the same thing every time, no exceptions.

 

[lauren_miller]

Originally Posted by sk_pacer

What has worked for kittens I have had was yelling OWWWW when they bite and it seems to work. Enough repetition and a soft owwww stops the nonsense and even the 'bad and evil' baby has learned not to bite when I say ow and isn't 6 months yet and is in the middle of teething. The thing is, they want to play and kittens play with claws and teeth, so yelp ow at the bite and take the hand away.......and it has to be both of you...the training has to be consistant from the whole household.

I'm pretty sure she's not playing. She gets a very angry look in her eyes, her eyes dilate and her ears go down like airplane wings. She's 8 months old now and this has been going on since we got her at 2 months. We tried yelpiing "ow" it didn't work.

Also, she is trying to dominate us.. She will flop down in front of us and block our path, when we try to move her or step over her she attacks our feet. She will jump up and grab pant legs and hold on.

Originally Posted by c1atsite

Is she biting the other cats as well?

Yes, she's always done that. She used to attack my other female but they've settled down and get a long a lot better. She will bite my big male to get his sleeping spot and won't stop till he moves. She did that from day two coming home. Very dominant little thing!

Originally Posted by GoldyCat

I have one biter. The only thing that worked for her was to say "OW!" very loudly, then say "NO!" or "No bites!" and tap her lightly on the nose, then hold her mouth shut for a few seconds. It took a little while, but she hasn't bitten me (much) for the last 2+ years. The only time she bites now is when her food dish is completely empty, just a little nip to remind me. And no, I do not immediately fill her dish--that would be rewarding her for biting. She has to wait until the scheduled time.

Whatever you decide to do, it has to be consistent. Both of you do the same thing every time, no exceptions.

I tried that too, tapping her on the nose just made her even more angry.

The other problem is being consistent. I am home most of the time right now and I am consistently using "ow" but when my husband comes home from work he goes to pet her gets pissed because she bites him and then he gets mad at me because I'm not training her. I would say she bites him a lot harder than me. I keep telling him to be patient she's a teenager but he's very pissed about the whole situation and blames me because I wanted her and she's "bad".

 

[Willowy]

Forget about the "dominance" junk. That isn't something that motivates cats (and has been de-bunked in dogs as well), and it isn't useful in helping you to deal with the behavior. And probably just makes you angrier! It's easier to be angry at pets if we think they're out to dominate us rather than just following their animal instincts. But they aren't. Dominance is purely a human idea.

So think of it this way: she is a naughty teenager. Partially she doesn't know how to behave properly, and partially she's testing the limits to see what she can get away with. If she bites, make a high-pitched noise and say "no biting" (or whatever cue you want to use). I would NOT use physical aversives on a cat who is so easily put over threshold. If she bites after you say no biting, choose another cue (oops! or too bad! are some I've heard) and put her in the bathroom (or crate or other small area that isn't easily damaged) for a few minutes. She is a reactive kitty, and the less you give her to react to, the better. Always remain calm in her presence, don't yell or swipe at her, this will just make it worse.

 

[lauren_miller]

Originally Posted by Willowy

Forget about the "dominance" junk. That isn't something that motivates cats (and has been de-bunked in dogs as well), and it isn't useful in helping you to deal with the behavior. And probably just makes you angrier! It's easier to be angry at pets if we think they're out to dominate us rather than just following their animal instincts. But they aren't. Dominance is purely a human idea.

So think of it this way: she is a naughty teenager. Partially she doesn't know how to behave properly, and partially she's testing the limits to see what she can get away with. If she bites, make a high-pitched noise and say "no biting" (or whatever cue you want to use). I would NOT use physical aversives on a cat who is so easily put over threshold. If she bites after you say no biting, choose another cue (oops! or too bad! are some I've heard) and put her in the bathroom (or crate or other small area that isn't easily damaged) for a few minutes. She is a reactive kitty, and the less you give her to react to, the better. Always remain calm in her presence, don't yell or swipe at her, this will just make it worse.

Thanks Willowy! I am going to show your post to my husband. She is a very reactive kitty and I think we've been going about the corrections completely wrong.. I've been trying to keep the naughty teenager in mind and I've been telling my husband that he needs to change his mindset about her. I think she's picking up on his negative feelings towards her and it's making it much worse. My MIL came to visit for several days and has a very positive attitude toward animals and Lilly did very well with her. She didn't get bitten, which started me thinking that I needed to post and ask for help.

 

[lauren_miller]

Just a little update, I've been doing the timeouts (or removal technique) for the past 4 days. I'm not sure if she understands why she is being isolated, but I am determined to keep at it. I've been firmly scruffing her when she bites and telling her no biting, then placing her in her timeout area. I have done this successfully the past 4 days each time she bites and without losing my temper or getting mad. She's actually been a little bit better. She doesn't like timeout at all I'm just not sure if she's putting two and two together.

I'm not picking her up by the scruff, just grasping her and telling her no then picking her up the normal way and off to timeout. Timouts last around 5-10 minutes depending on how pissed she is. The more upset she is the longer I give her to cool off. So far she's been in timeout 2-3 times per day since day one. Usually after she comes out she stalks off to the bedroom for a nap. When she comes out she has airplane ears and generally gives me the grumpy look.

Edited to add ~ My husband is fully on board with the training and is a much happier man now that I've come up with a plan for him to follow. We are also teaching her to stay out of the kitchen when we are cooking. We say "uh oh" and body block her till she's out of the kitchen, once out she gets a treat. That's been going really well.