Teaching other to be kind to your cat

[Lucy&Petra]

Our older son just moved back home for the summer. He normally lives at school. We've gotten three cats while he's been away. We used to be a no pets family, and over the past year I decided to adopt 3 cats, because they give me so much happiness and I wanted to be able to give my love to some innocent creatures.

One thing that surprised me to see yesterday, was that our son (21 years old) did things on purpose to agitate one of the cats. She's a princess and loves to be treated very gently. He was grabbing her tail repeatedly. He was kind of shoving his arm into her face. She eventually lashed out and tried to bite him.

I explained that that kind of behaviour is unkind, and we want to make sure the animals all have comfortable, calm lives, where they can rely on all the humans in their family to treat them with only kindness.

He basically said to stop calling him an animal abuser and told me that I've taken the care of the cats too far. I should be OK with his behaviour.

How do I basically explain to him that cats, like people, have emotions and feelings and also have the right to live without being agitated? My husband tried to talk to him as well, but my son just got really upset and kept telling us he isn't abusing her so we should back off.

Any tips? He just doesn't seem to get it. I'm worried it will not stop and I'll have to be the bad guy and tell him he can't live at home, if he can't be kind. Obviously, I'd like to avoid that.

Thanks!

 

[catapault]

Your house, your rules. Is he allowed to play loud music at 3:00 a.m.? Of course not. So if he doesn't want to listen to an explantion of why this is not acceptable behavior just tell him it is behavior that is not allowed. Period. Cannot do these things.

At 21 years old I would think he is beyond it but could he be somewhat jealous - consciously or unconsciously - of how the cats are treated?

 

[Lucy&Petra]

Thanks catapault. I basically just wanted reassurance that it's OK to ask folks to treat your animal only with kindness.

 

[Furballsmom]

I am wondering/hoping if you can get him to sit down with an open mind long enough to watch some of the Jackson Galaxy videos. In other words, sometimes hearing things from an outside source can bring home the message.

 

[BoaztheAdventureCat]

Thanks catapault. I basically just wanted reassurance that it's OK to ask folks to treat your animal only with kindness.

Absolutely! It's YOUR house and the cats are in YOUR jurisdiction. You have the right to put your foot down on what's allowed and what isn't.

 

[di and bob]

I agree, you are not his friend, you ARE THE PARENT. He is living in your house with YOUR rules. What he is doing is teasing an animal to make them lash out and THAT IS ABUSE! What scares me, and you may not want to hear it, what will he do if a cat hurts him during his teasing? He may seriously hurt the cat or even kill it. this type of behavior is very serious and needs to be monitored. I would not leave him alone with them. Do not ignore it!!!!!

 

[Tik cat's mum]

I have to agree with C catapault on this. My youngest is 20 and follows the house rules. Sometimes you just have to be firm. At the age our boy's are at they know it's not acceptable to tease the cat's. I have 3 older kid's that don't live at home and when they come to visit they know the rules.

 

[IndyJones]

An adult must know that all life is to be respected and that it is not okay to hurt or tease animals.

Have you tried the "how would you like it if I pulled your hair etc." approach? Not saying you should actually hit your son or pull his hair just use a stern "angry parent" voice.

 

[Nebaug]

An adult must know that all life is to be respected and that it is not okay to hurt or tease animals.

Have you tried the "how would you like it if I pulled your hair etc." approach? Not saying you should actually hit your son or pull his hair just use a stern "angry parent" voice.

This is crazy. This is not first time I heard about adults (he is an adult) having to be explained things that were explained when there were 3 years old. Probably is me, as I age I’m becoming less tolerant to certain things. I understand that he may not have ever had contact with animals growing up but being explained once should be sufficient. Am I nuts?
l don’t want to be harsh but I keep imagining kitties being completely overwhelmed by aggression that they have never known.