Tale Of A Son Who Dominates Mother

Catowneragain · Dec 1, 2018

This is not a new situation as the male is already 6-7 years old. They are both fixed. I rescued a mama and the one remaining son from the street. Well he grew up to be 3 pound+ heavier and bigger than mama. He was a terror as a juvenile and over the years, she is not comfortable being around him at all. He still chases her around the house and IF he can, will pin her down and bite her neck in dominance. They do go in and outside and that is how it has been tolerable. Mama sleeps in the garage - her choice. I can't leave them alone in the house because it is not fair to her. She had a bite on her tail but I have no way of knowing if he did that. Sometimes he just wants to go up and greet her but she is not trusting of him. I have to move into a small apartment and keep them inside. I just don't know how I can stop him. I have heard build the confidence of the smaller one but she is older and so much smaller. She is such a sweet kitty. Last time I saw him jump on her I picked him up and put him in a room to try to get the idea not to do that but I still work so I can't really repeat that enough. He basically thinks he owns the house. Yet he can be so sweet when he wants food or the lap. Any ideas?

FeebysOwner · Dec 1, 2018

Hi. He wants to be the dominant cat, and so he is demonstrating those behaviors. It doesn't help - even though I know you said Mama prefers to be in the garage - that she has now been relegated to that confined area. Was it always that way? Or, is she doing it out of a way to get away from her son - which by the way, she probably does not recognize as such.

Sorry, but the 'tolerable' part about them going outside has been for you - not them.

You need to find space to separate them in the new apartment, and then use the routine protocols for re-introducing cats to each other. Search this site for articles on how to reintroduce cats. See what you can glean from them.

Mamanyt1953 · Dec 1, 2018

Just one, and it can often work wonders. But it does take effort, and daily effort, on your part. Get a good wand toy. I have Da Bird, but there are a lot of them out there. Play with your boy several times a day. Play HARD. Wear him out. Get him to the point that he just...lies there. I'd try at least three times a day. This does a couple of things. First, it drains off a lot of energy that he is currently draining on Mama. Second, it gives him an appropriate target for his attacks.

Now, also play with Mama, but seperately from Son. Be sure she gets a chance to "catch" her prey on a regular basis. The act of successfully completing a "hunt, catch, kill" session will, indeed, build her confidence and make her appear less of a "prey" to her son.

Try to arrange your house so that there are fewer places where Mama can be trapped. Make sure she has "outs" available. If you don't currently have three litter boxes, add boxes, and spread them widely so that Son can't guard ALL of them at once, and Mama can do her business without fear.

This is going to take time, but it can be done, even with the problem being long-standing.

di and bob · Dec 2, 2018

I have almost the exact same problem, son that is a bully. I got a cat 'kickeroo' on Amazon, and everytime I see him stalking someone I throw it towards him to distract him, works every time. He does stop when I yell, but occasionally needs to be put in a closed room for a 5 minute time out. but after 4 years of this i can tell you, it is just his personality, really. He was very sickly as a kitten and almost died, so was protected and babied when little. We created a little bully! There is a LOT of screeching, hair flying and chasing, but really as long as there are no deep bites, or blood drawn, everything is normal behavior. Females are especially prone to screeching and trying to install manners, that is what they do. Keep them inside now, separate if absolutely necessary, and watch for wounds. (your female may have got that wound from too many places outside, which is way too dangerous for any cat). otherwise, just scold him loudly when he attacks,and keep throwing that kickeroo! It actually might get a little better when you move, they will both be scared and unsettled, a good time to form a new bond!