- Joined
- Apr 30, 2016
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I don't think I can write this out again, because I posted it in another cat forum and was in tears whilst doing it. So I will just copy/paste it from over there. I'm just wondering if I did the right thing?.....or if I was just ignorantly foolish and lucky throughout her life!?!?
.......
Hi,
I am really struggling with a decision I had to make to put my sweet Tabitha down last Monday. She was a little over 19 years old, and I got her at 4 months...could have been weeks, I don't remember. She, in fact, chose me. I walked through the whole animal shelter quad, and looked at every one. I got to the very last cubicle, and her description read, "Tabby Calico; very skittish". She came right up the window and looked at me and called me with those eyes. She was mine! I was never really able to provide the needed care/maintenance that most do for their cats, I struggle with income. She went to the vet maybe 7 or8 times in her life, if that. She was indoor only, so I didn't see the need for most vaccines or flea control(STUPID, I know). Well, I guess she just recently turned 19, because I got her in October of '04. 3 months ago, she lost her sight due to detached retinas from high blood pressure/hypertension. It came back, thank God, due to her BP meds. But I could tell her life might be nearing it's final stages soon...but I thought I'd have at least another year with her. In her last month or more, she had been biting and scratching A LOT, way more than I have ever seen her do. Stupid me didn't pay much attention to it since I wasn't getting bitten by fleas. On her last day of life, she wouldn't move when I pushed/coaxed her. She just laid by the front door screen(so that she could get better oxygen it seems obvious to me now). I knew something was wrong so I called her vet and they said bring her right in. They said she was very anemic, very low blood pressure, and she didn't have a good gait at all. The vet told me she could giver her a flea injection(not verbatim, I just forget exactly what it was), and giver her fluids under her skin. But she said she might perk back up, only to crash again the next day. I was broke, I had no clue what I had to do? When they were giving her oxygen, Tabitha was alert and I was sure she was getting better. But when the oxygen was taken away, she crashed within a few minutes. I didn't want to let her go! It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, this being my first pet, other than family pets when I was young. I sat there crying uncontrollably, not knowing what to do. She was 19, she lived a great life. I didn't want her to go! The vet said she had clients, and to make a decision when I could. So I did. I let her go. The vet came in after letting me be with her for about 15 minutes alone. Gave her the sedative to put her to sleep before the euthanasia. I watched her fall asleep for the last time while kissing her beautiful face. I took her to the pet cemetary to have her cremated. But while waiting the next few days to get her ashes, I had an infestation of fleas in my place now. OH MY GOD!! How many of those things were on her??? The vet told me she had anemia due to fleas most likely, because she saw a lot of flea dirt on her. So it's obvious now that THIS is what brought her to her end! But could I have had the vet give her the flea shot(?) and fluids, and had another year or a few more months at least with her?? I feel so guilty! If I had the money, I could have avoided this altogether because she would have hade ALL the things that normal cat owners give to their cats, and these fleas would not have been a problem. Yes, I had her for 19 years....but those must have been a very lucky 19 due to my lack of knowledge and ignorance of how to take care of a cat! This is haunting me now, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself. I loved her so much.
Sorry, once I started writing this, everything just came to the surface again.
.......
Hi,
I am really struggling with a decision I had to make to put my sweet Tabitha down last Monday. She was a little over 19 years old, and I got her at 4 months...could have been weeks, I don't remember. She, in fact, chose me. I walked through the whole animal shelter quad, and looked at every one. I got to the very last cubicle, and her description read, "Tabby Calico; very skittish". She came right up the window and looked at me and called me with those eyes. She was mine! I was never really able to provide the needed care/maintenance that most do for their cats, I struggle with income. She went to the vet maybe 7 or8 times in her life, if that. She was indoor only, so I didn't see the need for most vaccines or flea control(STUPID, I know). Well, I guess she just recently turned 19, because I got her in October of '04. 3 months ago, she lost her sight due to detached retinas from high blood pressure/hypertension. It came back, thank God, due to her BP meds. But I could tell her life might be nearing it's final stages soon...but I thought I'd have at least another year with her. In her last month or more, she had been biting and scratching A LOT, way more than I have ever seen her do. Stupid me didn't pay much attention to it since I wasn't getting bitten by fleas. On her last day of life, she wouldn't move when I pushed/coaxed her. She just laid by the front door screen(so that she could get better oxygen it seems obvious to me now). I knew something was wrong so I called her vet and they said bring her right in. They said she was very anemic, very low blood pressure, and she didn't have a good gait at all. The vet told me she could giver her a flea injection(not verbatim, I just forget exactly what it was), and giver her fluids under her skin. But she said she might perk back up, only to crash again the next day. I was broke, I had no clue what I had to do? When they were giving her oxygen, Tabitha was alert and I was sure she was getting better. But when the oxygen was taken away, she crashed within a few minutes. I didn't want to let her go! It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, this being my first pet, other than family pets when I was young. I sat there crying uncontrollably, not knowing what to do. She was 19, she lived a great life. I didn't want her to go! The vet said she had clients, and to make a decision when I could. So I did. I let her go. The vet came in after letting me be with her for about 15 minutes alone. Gave her the sedative to put her to sleep before the euthanasia. I watched her fall asleep for the last time while kissing her beautiful face. I took her to the pet cemetary to have her cremated. But while waiting the next few days to get her ashes, I had an infestation of fleas in my place now. OH MY GOD!! How many of those things were on her??? The vet told me she had anemia due to fleas most likely, because she saw a lot of flea dirt on her. So it's obvious now that THIS is what brought her to her end! But could I have had the vet give her the flea shot(?) and fluids, and had another year or a few more months at least with her?? I feel so guilty! If I had the money, I could have avoided this altogether because she would have hade ALL the things that normal cat owners give to their cats, and these fleas would not have been a problem. Yes, I had her for 19 years....but those must have been a very lucky 19 due to my lack of knowledge and ignorance of how to take care of a cat! This is haunting me now, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself. I loved her so much.
Sorry, once I started writing this, everything just came to the surface again.