Swollen Belly?

[PushPurrCatPaws]

joyfulrose - I don't want to scare you but I am actually very worried and scared now for your kitty. It scares me that she is so weak and losing her balance, possibly unable to poop for at least a few days (hard to tell with the other cats in the house, so maybe she has pooped a little?), but also that she laid in her litter box, exhausted, after peeing most recently. And she's a grand old lady at 17 years old. I'm really worried, and my heart goes out to you, hearing of your fear and pain and your crying -- I know you don't want to lose her! Sending you hugs!

My husband puts his head in his hands a lot because I am often too honest, but I can only go by my own experiences and you will have to search in your heart and your own knowledge of your kitty, and with what vets have tried to help you with, to know if it might apply to you in this case.

I only know that my last kitty had pancreatitis during her last year (alongside 4 years of diabetes), and during that last year, I regretted not getting at least an xray a few months before she had to be put to sleep. Her symptoms at the time could have been attributed to diabetes and pancreatitis, so I didn't act (one of those regrets: not getting an xray or yet another ultrasound). Pancreatitis, which our cat had in spades, is a progressive disease and there is no cure, only supportive care -- so we just kept thinking we could get her through this most recent bout. But it turns out that we found out too late that she also had a GI cancer growing -- and they grow quickly. Her stomach swelled, and she also had fluid and infections, and we just didn't get an xray or ultrasound done 3 months prior to putting her to sleep because we felt we had "just had one done" a few months before. We were fortunately not in your place of not being able to afford a test, we just passed the chance by for one point in time.

Things can change so quickly though, in elderly cats, and by the time things were really bad, we took her to ER and they saw the mass of cancer in an xray, and part of the fluids and swelling were caused by sepsis -- sepsis and infection that the antibiotic we had tried to use earlier wasn't effective against. She also was not pooping, and too exhausted and weak to pee much in her last days. We had to put her to sleep the day following that nighttime ER visit. I didn't sleep all night, I was so devastated. I don't know where this puts you, as I do think it is true what the Banfield vet said -- that is, I understand that vet wanting to do blood work and ultrasound before even deciding more on the best course. But I do think your kitty is very, very ill at this point, I am so sorry. I AM NOT A VET and I am only conveying the similarities of our situations that I am feeling across this precarious medium of the internet, but I feel very worried about your kitty! You can definitely dismiss all that I am saying, I could be wrong -- and maybe I shouldn't say any of this, I am so sorry. I just wish I could give you a hug, though I don't know you. At some point, the wonderful and beautiful and rugged and quirky souls and bodies that are our dearest kitties just cannot surpass the health issues of old age. My thoughts and prayers and tears are with you, and your kitty.

 

[joyfulrose]

Last night I put my beloved cat Rosie to sleep. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I am filled with regret and guilt. I don't know if I made the right decision, I have never had to put a cat or any animal down before. I feel like I could have tried harder and done more. I feel like she thinks I gave up on her. I wanted to do more and try harder. My heart is aching... I loved her so so I much. I can't imagine my life without her. I could not sleep or eat last night. I felt like I had made the wrong decision.

The night before yesterday I took her to the Emergency Vet clinic because I worried she had a very serious uti because she continued to have trouble urinating and passing bowel movements. I worried if this was left untreated it might kill her So I rushed her to the ER vet.

They took her into the back straight away and examined her and took her vitals (none of this was in front of me, idk I guess that is policy for Emergency clinics?)

I was put in a waiting room and told the doctor would be in to speak with me shortly. When the doctor came into the room she just had this look on her face and I knew she had bad news. She told me I have a very sick cat and that my cat is suffering and it's probably best to euthanize. She said my kitty had fluid in her belly and was very weak and that she could not help her.

I showed her all the previous blood tests I had done and told her how my cat had trouble urinating and passing bowel movements. She said she thinks my cat might have cancer or Fip. She said whatever it is it's bad and she can't help her. She told me if she gave her fluids she might die and she said if she drained the fluid in her belly she also might die. She said that fluid was actually saving her life because she was basically skin and bones and if they drained it she might not make it. She recommended euthanasia to end her suffering then left the room so we could think about it

My heart sunk and I broke down in tears I couldn't believe what she just told me, no one has ever told me before she may have cancer (I saw 4 or 5 vets) they did suspect fip because of the belly swelling. But I just kept thinking that she didn't look ready to go yet- she was eating and drinking and still very alert and acted pretty normal other than the litter box issues and weakness.

I told them I wanted to spend one more night with her before I made my decision. They said that was fine but if I wanted to proceed with putting her to sleep I would have 24hrs to do so.

I took her home and she seemed a little bit better. When I went to sleep she came and slept really close to me and just kept staring at me the entire time. I kept waking up in my sleep and getting scared I would lose her over night but she was still next to me and still breathing. I was so thankful she was still with me.

The next morning when I woke up(yesterday morning) She looked so good, bright eyed and like her normal old self again. I was so happy and I thought that maybe this is all some sort of infection taking it's toll on her.

Later that afternoon she went into her litter box to use it and she urinated a normal amount. Right after urinating, she just sat down in her litter box unable to move. I panicked and got so worried because I thought she was getting better. I felt like she had trouble passing a bowel so I gave her some petromalt in hopes that it would help her.

A couple hours later I saw her urinating on my bed-she had never in her life done this before I know it can be a sign of a UTI though, so I called up the ER clinic and told them she was urinating on the bed and that maybe she just had a uti and needed antibiotics. They told me the doctor who saw her yesterday was not there today and there was a different doctor but that i had to bring her in before he can prescribe any antibiotics.

Something strange happened about an hour before I took her to the ER vet. She started refusing her food but drank some water.. I decided maybe i should try to syringe feed her because she started to look very weak. I tried to lift her up on the table where i would sit her and syringe feed her. As I lifted her i heard her try to swallow but it sounded like she couldn't swallow properly and then she became really limp and almost fell from my hands. I started to scream and cry because I thought she was gonna die right then and there. I immediately took her to my bed and laid her down and tried to give her some water or food. She seemed a little better now. She drank some water and then went to lay in her cat bed. I tried to give her some wet food to see if she would eat anything before we left to the ER vet. And she did... she ate a good amount so I was really happy she still somewhat had her appetite.

I put her in the carrier and headed straight to the ER vet. When we got there I explained to them how she was urinating on my bed today and maybe she had a uti and needed anitbiotics. They again ( like the night before) took her to the back and examined her while I waited in a different room for the doctor to come speak to me.

When the doctor came in he looked at me and said "I don't know what you want me to tell you, your kitty is dying" he explained to me that the doctor from the night before already told me this and that he had read all her notes. They suspect she has something really bad (cancer or fip) He told me there is nothing he can do that will save my cat.

I kept telling him she started urinating on the bed today, if it could be possible she has a uti or something. He told me that was the least of her problems and that my cat is suffering. He told me she was unable to stand and she was so weak when he was examining her. Then he said very rudely, if you wanna run tests and do bloodwork fine, but that he still would not be able to help her even after doing that.

He then left the room and let us (my mom was with me) talk about it and decide what we want to do. I couldn't stop crying and i felt my heart break once more. I just couldn't believe what they were telling me. She looked fine earlier today.

The tech then came in with how much each procedure would cost to do and to get sub-q fluids,blood work and xrays it would cost nearly $600. (i did not have that kind of money but I wanted to try everything i could) I told the tech I was worried about the sub-q fluids because a previous vet told me if they give her too much she could go into shock and die. She then asked me if anyone has ever told me my cat could have pancreatitis and I told her yes the last 2 blood tests did show she had pancreatitis but I was always told that test was not accurate and one of the vets i saw told me if my kitty doesn't vomit she doesn't think it is pancreatitis. She told me they don't always vomit with pancreatitis tho. She then went in the back and I heard her speaking with the doctor. She told him what I said about the SUB-Q fluids and I heard him tell her "No that cat is severely dehydrated she needs fluids" I was not saying not to give her fluids, I just wanted them to be sure not to give too much because of my cats anemia and fluid in the belly.

The tech came back in the room and said we can do blood work and xrays and see if there is something that can be done. Some way we could help her - but if she was at the end stages of whatever disease this was that there might not be much we could do other than make her comfortable. I worried about all the testing she would have to go through because she was so weak and unable to stand.

Me and my mom talked about it and cried about it and my mom said she feels maybe its best we put her to sleep. I didn't want to accept that is what I should do, I told her I wanted to try and do the testing- that maybe we could help her. I wasn't ready to lose her yet. We didn't have the money for any of the tests though and they kept making it seem like I was a horrible person for wanting to try because all I would be doing was making her suffer.

I felt like the doctor kept pressuring me and that it was best to euthanize because no matter what the results were they could not help her. That she was dying and nothing could be done. The doc came in one more time after getting us to agree to the euthanasia and told us this is the right decision and the wisest thing we could do because my cat is suffering and he highly suspects she has either cancer or fip (It's hard for me to accept that because I never had any tests done to confirm any of this- all they could see was the fluid in her belly)

They had us sign some paperwork that said we agreed to the euthanasia and they brought my kitty it for me to sit with her a little bit before they proceeded.

When i saw her she looked so sad and weak and she couldn't stand.. she had sunken eyes but she kept looking at me and meowing in the saddest voice i ever heard. My heart broke into a billion pieces. I felt like she knew what was coming and that she didn't want me to do this and I felt like she thought i was giving up on her and not fighting for her. I cried to my mom and told her I don't think this is the right thing to do. She kept assuring me it was right, all the doctors told us there was nothing that can be done. But i felt in my heart i should have done more and tried harder and fought harder. Right before the doctor came in I got her to eat a piece of her favorite treats. I gave her a million kisses and hugs and my heart continued to ache. It all happened so fast, I had no sense of reality, I didn't feel any of this was real and actually happening. In a moment she was gone forever and i would never see her again. I cried so much and my heart was hurting so bad.
They gave us all the paperwork for her vitals and everything and we were on our way out. I would never see my sweet baby again. This was so hard for me.. She was not just a cat to me, she was my baby... my everything. The sweetest kindest most loving cat and now she was gone and it was all my fault

On the car ride back home i felt so much guilt and regret it was eating me up inside. I told my mom we could have tried harder, i wanted to fight for her. She just kept assuring me this was the right thing to do because I did not want to see my cat suffer. I agreed that I didn't want to see her suffer, but i couldn't shake this feeling that it wasn't her time yet. She didn't seem ready to go. She was still eating and drinking- though she looked sick and weak... i felt like she wasn't ready to leave me yet and I wasn't ready for her to leave either.

Everyone tried to convince me this was the best thing to do for her. But i spent the entire not crying and hurting. Thinking of all the things i should have done or could have done. More regret building up inside of me. I kept thinking if she were to go I should have waited for when she had been ready because through all of her issues she continued to fight even at the very last second.

I woke up this morning and all i could think about what her symptoms seemed more like symptoms of dehydration rather than symptoms of a cat dying. I wish I would have at least tried the SUB-Q fluids, maybe it would have helped. Every vet told me she looked very dehydrated and we never tried the fluids because we worried about the anemia and fluid in her belly, I wish i would have tried. Maybe that would have saved her.. maybe she would still be here with me now if i had done that. I felt like i had let her down. How could i have done that to her, I love her so much... I just can't help but think that vet pressured us into putting her to sleep. He gave us no hope whatsoever.

The worst part of it is I will never know exactly what this was. Some said pancreatitis, some said Fip or Cancer. But i will never have any real proof that is what she had... and I just can't help but feel some how all of this is my fault. I must have done something wrong. She was fine 2 weeks ago it all just happened so fast.

I looked over her vitals and comments from the vet last night when he had examined her just before putting her to sleep. And I felt even more regret and kept thinking all of her symptoms seemed to be symptoms of dehydration...

these were the vitals and comments taken:

Temp: 99.7 F
Pulse rate:180 bpm
Resp rate: 30/min
Capillary refill time <2.0sec

Notes:
Eyes clear, no nasal discharge, no murmurs or arrhythmias, her lungs were clear, no fluid in the lungs, no wheezing or crackles

Fluid in the belly, extremely weak, ataxic, cachexic, very depressed
Normal cranial nerves, normal reflexes and normal motor. no neurological deficits.

No discharge, swelling or evidence of hematuria
No peripheral lymphadenopathy noted

Dull hair and coat, extremely dehydrated BCS= 4/9

Treatment: Strongly suspected cancer or FIP with fluid in the abdomen and cachexic condition

I just keep wondering, would the sub-q fluids have saved her? I should have at least tried. I wanted to, I really wanted to with my entire heart- but the vet said several times there's nothing he can do that will save her.

I am devastated and I don't know how I will ever move past this.

RIP my beautiful angel Rosie. I love you and miss you so soo much

 

[LoserAndTheCat]

Last night I put my beloved cat Rosie to sleep. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I am filled with regret and guilt. I don't know if I made the right decision, I have never had to put a cat or any animal down before. I feel like I could have tried harder and done more. I feel like she thinks I gave up on her. I wanted to do more and try harder. My heart is aching... I loved her so so I much. I can't imagine my life without her. I could not sleep or eat last night. I felt like I had made the wrong decision.

The night before yesterday I took her to the Emergency Vet clinic because I worried she had a very serious uti because she continued to have trouble urinating and passing bowel movements. I worried if this was left untreated it might kill her So I rushed her to the ER vet.

They took her into the back straight away and examined her and took her vitals (none of this was in front of me, idk I guess that is policy for Emergency clinics?)

I was put in a waiting room and told the doctor would be in to speak with me shortly. When the doctor came into the room she just had this look on her face and I knew she had bad news. She told me I have a very sick cat and that my cat is suffering and it's probably best to euthanize. She said my kitty had fluid in her belly and was very weak and that she could not help her.

I showed her all the previous blood tests I had done and told her how my cat had trouble urinating and passing bowel movements. She said she thinks my cat might have cancer or Fip. She said whatever it is it's bad and she can't help her. She told me if she gave her fluids she might die and she said if she drained the fluid in her belly she also might die. She said that fluid was actually saving her life because she was basically skin and bones and if they drained it she might not make it. She recommended euthanasia to end her suffering then left the room so we could think about it

My heart sunk and I broke down in tears I couldn't believe what she just told me, no one has ever told me before she may have cancer (I saw 4 or 5 vets) they did suspect fip because of the belly swelling. But I just kept thinking that she didn't look ready to go yet- she was eating and drinking and still very alert and acted pretty normal other than the litter box issues and weakness.

I told them I wanted to spend one more night with her before I made my decision. They said that was fine but if I wanted to proceed with putting her to sleep I would have 24hrs to do so.

I took her home and she seemed a little bit better. When I went to sleep she came and slept really close to me and just kept staring at me the entire time. I kept waking up in my sleep and getting scared I would lose her over night but she was still next to me and still breathing. I was so thankful she was still with me.

The next morning when I woke up(yesterday morning) She looked so good, bright eyed and like her normal old self again. I was so happy and I thought that maybe this is all some sort of infection taking it's toll on her.

Later that afternoon she went into her litter box to use it and she urinated a normal amount. Right after urinating, she just sat down in her litter box unable to move. I panicked and got so worried because I thought she was getting better. I felt like she had trouble passing a bowel so I gave her some petromalt in hopes that it would help her.

A couple hours later I saw her urinating on my bed-she had never in her life done this before I know it can be a sign of a UTI though, so I called up the ER clinic and told them she was urinating on the bed and that maybe she just had a uti and needed antibiotics. They told me the doctor who saw her yesterday was not there today and there was a different doctor but that i had to bring her in before he can prescribe any antibiotics.

Something strange happened about an hour before I took her to the ER vet. She started refusing her food but drank some water.. I decided maybe i should try to syringe feed her because she started to look very weak. I tried to lift her up on the table where i would sit her and syringe feed her. As I lifted her i heard her try to swallow but it sounded like she couldn't swallow properly and then she became really limp and almost fell from my hands. I started to scream and cry because I thought she was gonna die right then and there. I immediately took her to my bed and laid her down and tried to give her some water or food. She seemed a little better now. She drank some water and then went to lay in her cat bed. I tried to give her some wet food to see if she would eat anything before we left to the ER vet. And she did... she ate a good amount so I was really happy she still somewhat had her appetite.

I put her in the carrier and headed straight to the ER vet. When we got there I explained to them how she was urinating on my bed today and maybe she had a uti and needed anitbiotics. They again ( like the night before) took her to the back and examined her while I waited in a different room for the doctor to come speak to me.

When the doctor came in he looked at me and said "I don't know what you want me to tell you, your kitty is dying" he explained to me that the doctor from the night before already told me this and that he had read all her notes. They suspect she has something really bad (cancer or fip) He told me there is nothing he can do that will save my cat.

I kept telling him she started urinating on the bed today, if it could be possible she has a uti or something. He told me that was the least of her problems and that my cat is suffering. He told me she was unable to stand and she was so weak when he was examining her. Then he said very rudely, if you wanna run tests and do bloodwork fine, but that he still would not be able to help her even after doing that.

He then left the room and let us (my mom was with me) talk about it and decide what we want to do. I couldn't stop crying and i felt my heart break once more. I just couldn't believe what they were telling me. She looked fine earlier today.

The tech then came in with how much each procedure would cost to do and to get sub-q fluids,blood work and xrays it would cost nearly $600. (i did not have that kind of money but I wanted to try everything i could) I told the tech I was worried about the sub-q fluids because a previous vet told me if they give her too much she could go into shock and die. She then asked me if anyone has ever told me my cat could have pancreatitis and I told her yes the last 2 blood tests did show she had pancreatitis but I was always told that test was not accurate and one of the vets i saw told me if my kitty doesn't vomit she doesn't think it is pancreatitis. She told me they don't always vomit with pancreatitis tho. She then went in the back and I heard her speaking with the doctor. She told him what I said about the SUB-Q fluids and I heard him tell her " No that cat is severely dehydrated she needs fluids) I was not saying not to give her fluids, I just wanted them to be sure not to give too much because of my cats anemia and fluid in the belly.

The tech came back in the room and said we can do blood work and xrays and see if there is something that can be done. Some way we could help her - but if she was at the end stages of whatever disease this was that there might not be much we could do other than make her comfortable. I worried about all the testing she would have to go through because she was so weak and unable to stand.

Me and my mom talk about it and cried about it and my mom said she feels maybe its best we put her to sleep. I didn't want to accept that is what I should do, I told her I wanted to try and do the testing- that maybe we could help her. I wasn't ready to lose her yet. We didn't have the money for any of the tests though and they kept making it seem like I was a horrible person for wanting to try because all I would be doing was making her suffer.

I felt like the doctor kept pressuring me and that it was best to euthanize because no matter what the results were they could not help her. That she was dying and nothing could be done. The doc came in one more time after getting us to agree to the euthanasia and told us this is the right decision and the wisest thing we could do because my cat is suffering and he highly suspects she has either cancer or fip ( it's had for me to accept that because I never has any tests done to confirm any of this- all they could see was the fluid in her belly)

They had us sign some paperwork that said we agreed to the euthanasia and they brought my kitty it for me to sit with her a little bit before they proceeded.

When i saw her she looked so sad and weak and she couldn't stand.. she had sunken eyes but she kept looking at me and meowing in the saddest voice i ever heard. My heart broke into a billion pieces. I felt like she knew what was coming and that she didn't want me to do this and I felt like she thought i was giving up on her and not fighting for her. I cried to my mom and told her I don't think this is the right thing to do. She kept assuring me it was right, all the doctors told us there was nothing that can be done. But i felt in my heart i should have done more and tried harder and fought harder. Right before the doctor came in I got her to eat a piece of her favorite treats. I gave her a million kisses and hugs and my heart continued to ache. It all happened so fast, I had no sense of reality, I didn't feel any of this was real and actually happening. In a moment she was gone forever and i would never see her again. I cried so much and my heart was hurting so bad.
They gave us all the paperwork for her vitals and everything and we were on our way out. I would never see my sweet baby again. This was so hard for me.. She was not just a cat to me, she was my baby... my everything. The sweetest kindest most loving cat and now she was gone and it was all my fault

On the car ride back home i felt so much guilt and regret it was eating me up inside. I told my mom we could have tried harder, i wanted to fight for her. She just kept assuring me this was the right thing to do because I did not want to see my cat suffer. I agreed that I didn't want to see her suffer, but i couldnt shake this feeling that it wasnt her time yet. She didn't seem ready to go. She was still eating and drinking- though she looked sick and weak... i felt like she wasn't ready to leave me yet and I wasn't ready for her to leave either.

Everyone tried to convince me this was the best thing to do for her. But i spent the entire not crying nd hurting. Thinking of all the things i should have done or could have done. More regret building up inside of me. I kept thinking if she were to go I should have waited for when she had been ready because through all of her issues she continued to fight even at the very last second.

I woke up this morning and all i could think about what her symptoms seemed more like symptoms of dehydration rather than symptoms of a cat dying. I wish I would have atleast tried the SUB-Q fluids, maybe it would have helped. Every vet told me she looked very dehydrated and we never tried the fluid because we worried about the anemia and fluid in her belly, I wish i would have tried. Maybe that would have saved her.. maybe she would still be here with me now if i had done that. I felt like i had let her down. How could i have done that to her, I love her so much... I just can't help but think that vet pressured us into putting her to sleep. He gave us no hope whatsoever.

The worst part of it is, I will never know exactly what this was. Some said pancreatitis, some said Fip or Cancer. But i will never have any real proof that is what she had... and I just can't help but feel some how all of this is my fault. I must have done something wrong. She was fine 2 weeks ago it all just happened so fast.

I looked over her vitals and comments from the vet last night when he had examined her just before putting her to sleep. And I felt even more regret and kept thinking all of her symptoms seemed to be symptoms of dehydration...

these were the vitals and comments taken:

Temp: 99.7 F
Pulse rate:180 bpm
Resp rate: 30/min
Capillary refill time <2.0sec

Notes:
Eyes clear, no nasal discharge, no murmurs or arrhythmias, her lungs were clear, no fluid in the lungs, no wheezing or crackles

Fluid in the belly, extremely weak, ataxic, cachexic, very depressed
Normal cranial nerves, normal reflexes and normal motor. no neurological deficits.

No discharge, swelling or evidence of hematuria
No peripheral lymphadenopathy noted

Dull hair and coat, extremely dehydrated BCS= 4/9

Treatment: Strongly suspected cancer or FIP with fluid in the abdomen and cachexic condition

I just keep wondering, would the sub-q fluids have saved her? I should have atleast tried. I wanted to, I really wanted to with my entire heart- but the vet said several times theres nothing he can do that will save her.

I am devastated and I don't know how I will ever move past this.

RIP my beautiful angel Rosie. I love you and miss you so soo much

I think your cat knew you loved her, and she knew you were sad. I think she knew she was dying because cats are so intelligent, they know those things. I think her meows were her response to you, like a child telling their parents that it's okay to be sad, but it's their time. She loved you, she trusted you, and I'm sure that having you until her very last moments made her the happiest kitty in the world. I understand your pain, and let me tell you that whatever you need to do to deal with this loss is normal, and that when you start feeling happy again, you should absolutely not feel guilty about it, even though you will. All my best

 

[tarasgirl06]

Last night I put my beloved cat Rosie to sleep. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I am filled with regret and guilt. I don't know if I made the right decision, I have never had to put a cat or any animal down before. I feel like I could have tried harder and done more. I feel like she thinks I gave up on her. I wanted to do more and try harder. My heart is aching... I loved her so so I much. I can't imagine my life without her. I could not sleep or eat last night. I felt like I had made the wrong decision.

The night before yesterday I took her to the Emergency Vet clinic because I worried she had a very serious uti because she continued to have trouble urinating and passing bowel movements. I worried if this was left untreated it might kill her So I rushed her to the ER vet.

They took her into the back straight away and examined her and took her vitals (none of this was in front of me, idk I guess that is policy for Emergency clinics?)

I was put in a waiting room and told the doctor would be in to speak with me shortly. When the doctor came into the room she just had this look on her face and I knew she had bad news. She told me I have a very sick cat and that my cat is suffering and it's probably best to euthanize. She said my kitty had fluid in her belly and was very weak and that she could not help her.

I showed her all the previous blood tests I had done and told her how my cat had trouble urinating and passing bowel movements. She said she thinks my cat might have cancer or Fip. She said whatever it is it's bad and she can't help her. She told me if she gave her fluids she might die and she said if she drained the fluid in her belly she also might die. She said that fluid was actually saving her life because she was basically skin and bones and if they drained it she might not make it. She recommended euthanasia to end her suffering then left the room so we could think about it

My heart sunk and I broke down in tears I couldn't believe what she just told me, no one has ever told me before she may have cancer (I saw 4 or 5 vets) they did suspect fip because of the belly swelling. But I just kept thinking that she didn't look ready to go yet- she was eating and drinking and still very alert and acted pretty normal other than the litter box issues and weakness.

I told them I wanted to spend one more night with her before I made my decision. They said that was fine but if I wanted to proceed with putting her to sleep I would have 24hrs to do so.

I took her home and she seemed a little bit better. When I went to sleep she came and slept really close to me and just kept staring at me the entire time. I kept waking up in my sleep and getting scared I would lose her over night but she was still next to me and still breathing. I was so thankful she was still with me.

The next morning when I woke up(yesterday morning) She looked so good, bright eyed and like her normal old self again. I was so happy and I thought that maybe this is all some sort of infection taking it's toll on her.

Later that afternoon she went into her litter box to use it and she urinated a normal amount. Right after urinating, she just sat down in her litter box unable to move. I panicked and got so worried because I thought she was getting better. I felt like she had trouble passing a bowel so I gave her some petromalt in hopes that it would help her.

A couple hours later I saw her urinating on my bed-she had never in her life done this before I know it can be a sign of a UTI though, so I called up the ER clinic and told them she was urinating on the bed and that maybe she just had a uti and needed antibiotics. They told me the doctor who saw her yesterday was not there today and there was a different doctor but that i had to bring her in before he can prescribe any antibiotics.

Something strange happened about an hour before I took her to the ER vet. She started refusing her food but drank some water.. I decided maybe i should try to syringe feed her because she started to look very weak. I tried to lift her up on the table where i would sit her and syringe feed her. As I lifted her i heard her try to swallow but it sounded like she couldn't swallow properly and then she became really limp and almost fell from my hands. I started to scream and cry because I thought she was gonna die right then and there. I immediately took her to my bed and laid her down and tried to give her some water or food. She seemed a little better now. She drank some water and then went to lay in her cat bed. I tried to give her some wet food to see if she would eat anything before we left to the ER vet. And she did... she ate a good amount so I was really happy she still somewhat had her appetite.

I put her in the carrier and headed straight to the ER vet. When we got there I explained to them how she was urinating on my bed today and maybe she had a uti and needed anitbiotics. They again ( like the night before) took her to the back and examined her while I waited in a different room for the doctor to come speak to me.

When the doctor came in he looked at me and said "I don't know what you want me to tell you, your kitty is dying" he explained to me that the doctor from the night before already told me this and that he had read all her notes. They suspect she has something really bad (cancer or fip) He told me there is nothing he can do that will save my cat.

I kept telling him she started urinating on the bed today, if it could be possible she has a uti or something. He told me that was the least of her problems and that my cat is suffering. He told me she was unable to stand and she was so weak when he was examining her. Then he said very rudely, if you wanna run tests and do bloodwork fine, but that he still would not be able to help her even after doing that.

He then left the room and let us (my mom was with me) talk about it and decide what we want to do. I couldn't stop crying and i felt my heart break once more. I just couldn't believe what they were telling me. She looked fine earlier today.

The tech then came in with how much each procedure would cost to do and to get sub-q fluids,blood work and xrays it would cost nearly $600. (i did not have that kind of money but I wanted to try everything i could) I told the tech I was worried about the sub-q fluids because a previous vet told me if they give her too much she could go into shock and die. She then asked me if anyone has ever told me my cat could have pancreatitis and I told her yes the last 2 blood tests did show she had pancreatitis but I was always told that test was not accurate and one of the vets i saw told me if my kitty doesn't vomit she doesn't think it is pancreatitis. She told me they don't always vomit with pancreatitis tho. She then went in the back and I heard her speaking with the doctor. She told him what I said about the SUB-Q fluids and I heard him tell her " No that cat is severely dehydrated she needs fluids) I was not saying not to give her fluids, I just wanted them to be sure not to give too much because of my cats anemia and fluid in the belly.

The tech came back in the room and said we can do blood work and xrays and see if there is something that can be done. Some way we could help her - but if she was at the end stages of whatever disease this was that there might not be much we could do other than make her comfortable. I worried about all the testing she would have to go through because she was so weak and unable to stand.

Me and my mom talk about it and cried about it and my mom said she feels maybe its best we put her to sleep. I didn't want to accept that is what I should do, I told her I wanted to try and do the testing- that maybe we could help her. I wasn't ready to lose her yet. We didn't have the money for any of the tests though and they kept making it seem like I was a horrible person for wanting to try because all I would be doing was making her suffer.

I felt like the doctor kept pressuring me and that it was best to euthanize because no matter what the results were they could not help her. That she was dying and nothing could be done. The doc came in one more time after getting us to agree to the euthanasia and told us this is the right decision and the wisest thing we could do because my cat is suffering and he highly suspects she has either cancer or fip ( it's had for me to accept that because I never has any tests done to confirm any of this- all they could see was the fluid in her belly)

They had us sign some paperwork that said we agreed to the euthanasia and they brought my kitty it for me to sit with her a little bit before they proceeded.

When i saw her she looked so sad and weak and she couldn't stand.. she had sunken eyes but she kept looking at me and meowing in the saddest voice i ever heard. My heart broke into a billion pieces. I felt like she knew what was coming and that she didn't want me to do this and I felt like she thought i was giving up on her and not fighting for her. I cried to my mom and told her I don't think this is the right thing to do. She kept assuring me it was right, all the doctors told us there was nothing that can be done. But i felt in my heart i should have done more and tried harder and fought harder. Right before the doctor came in I got her to eat a piece of her favorite treats. I gave her a million kisses and hugs and my heart continued to ache. It all happened so fast, I had no sense of reality, I didn't feel any of this was real and actually happening. In a moment she was gone forever and i would never see her again. I cried so much and my heart was hurting so bad.
They gave us all the paperwork for her vitals and everything and we were on our way out. I would never see my sweet baby again. This was so hard for me.. She was not just a cat to me, she was my baby... my everything. The sweetest kindest most loving cat and now she was gone and it was all my fault

On the car ride back home i felt so much guilt and regret it was eating me up inside. I told my mom we could have tried harder, i wanted to fight for her. She just kept assuring me this was the right thing to do because I did not want to see my cat suffer. I agreed that I didn't want to see her suffer, but i couldnt shake this feeling that it wasnt her time yet. She didn't seem ready to go. She was still eating and drinking- though she looked sick and weak... i felt like she wasn't ready to leave me yet and I wasn't ready for her to leave either.

Everyone tried to convince me this was the best thing to do for her. But i spent the entire not crying nd hurting. Thinking of all the things i should have done or could have done. More regret building up inside of me. I kept thinking if she were to go I should have waited for when she had been ready because through all of her issues she continued to fight even at the very last second.

I woke up this morning and all i could think about what her symptoms seemed more like symptoms of dehydration rather than symptoms of a cat dying. I wish I would have atleast tried the SUB-Q fluids, maybe it would have helped. Every vet told me she looked very dehydrated and we never tried the fluid because we worried about the anemia and fluid in her belly, I wish i would have tried. Maybe that would have saved her.. maybe she would still be here with me now if i had done that. I felt like i had let her down. How could i have done that to her, I love her so much... I just can't help but think that vet pressured us into putting her to sleep. He gave us no hope whatsoever.

The worst part of it is, I will never know exactly what this was. Some said pancreatitis, some said Fip or Cancer. But i will never have any real proof that is what she had... and I just can't help but feel some how all of this is my fault. I must have done something wrong. She was fine 2 weeks ago it all just happened so fast.

I looked over her vitals and comments from the vet last night when he had examined her just before putting her to sleep. And I felt even more regret and kept thinking all of her symptoms seemed to be symptoms of dehydration...

these were the vitals and comments taken:

Temp: 99.7 F
Pulse rate:180 bpm
Resp rate: 30/min
Capillary refill time <2.0sec

Notes:
Eyes clear, no nasal discharge, no murmurs or arrhythmias, her lungs were clear, no fluid in the lungs, no wheezing or crackles

Fluid in the belly, extremely weak, ataxic, cachexic, very depressed
Normal cranial nerves, normal reflexes and normal motor. no neurological deficits.

No discharge, swelling or evidence of hematuria
No peripheral lymphadenopathy noted

Dull hair and coat, extremely dehydrated BCS= 4/9

Treatment: Strongly suspected cancer or FIP with fluid in the abdomen and cachexic condition

I just keep wondering, would the sub-q fluids have saved her? I should have atleast tried. I wanted to, I really wanted to with my entire heart- but the vet said several times theres nothing he can do that will save her.

I am devastated and I don't know how I will ever move past this.

RIP my beautiful angel Rosie. I love you and miss you so soo much

joyfulrose I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Rosie was a beautiful girl and I know she loved you very much. I hope you share my beliefs that she is watching over you now and that you will be reunited in due time. She is in a place of absolute Love, Comfort, and Joy. All of the suffering is forgotten. She would never want you to feel "guilty" -- she knows you are sad because you do not see her and touch her now, but the soul is immortal! and she is in the Care of the One Whose Love is without measure.
The rudeness the doctor showed is indefensible. Of course I cannot know what was in his mind or in his heart, but very often, vets, doctors and others who deal with pain and suffering are deeply affected by it, and it comes out very awkwardly as terseness when in reality, THEY are feeling very badly for their patient and maybe the patient's family, and when they know they are confronted with a patient who is about to leave this world and who is in pain, they feel frustrated and helpless.
I have faced the loss of many, many beloved ones, feline, human, and other, and I believe I know many of the feelings you are probably going through. This is a normal part of grieving. You must go through it. It is unendurable, but you must endure it.
You absolutely did right by Rosie. Don't ever doubt that. From what you have written, she was absolutely ready, and asking you to help her to ascend and be free from her earthly form, which was absolutely failing her. Her SPIRIT will never die. "Be still, and know." May you be blessed.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I am so sorry. RIP little Rosie. There is really nothing that I can say that others have not already said. But, I will say she was a little trooper - probably more for you than for herself. She hung in there for you because she knew that is what you wanted. But, you stopped her from having more pain and suffering by what you did than if you had let it go on longer.

No one knows for sure - EVER - if they have done the right thing. But, the one thing they do know - just as you do - that you had a bond with her that even death cannot erase. She was - and you are - a sweetheart.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Sure agree, FeebysOwner . I call that putting her above yourself. I have had to do this before, and of course, it is never easy. It is wrenching, no matter HOW a loved one leaves us, and we probably will always have some residual feelings of, "Did I do enough? Did I do too much? I should have done/not done ____." But as long as we do what we do out of LOVE for our beloveds, they know and in time, you will be comforted by cherished memories of them. I make photo albums of my loved ones, and when I am able, I plant a plant in tribute to them -- a living memorial. Sometimes I have also been able to make a memorial donation to a favorite cat charity such as Alley Cat Allies or an animal sanctuary such as Best Friends Animal Society in the loved one's name. This "pays it forward" to someone else in need. And in time, it is my policy to adopt another cat, NEVER as a "replacement" because that is not possible! but to give another sweet and deserving cat the love, good care, and safety I can provide, that every cat deserves, in the name of my beloved one who I am sure watches over us with approval.

 

[joyfulrose]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's just so hard, I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. This kitty was so special to me, my first kitty. I had her since the first day of high school. 17 beautiful years together.. I just can't believe she is gone. The worst feeling ever and hardest thing I have ever had to do. I don't know if I will ever stop questioning whether or not this was the right decision and how I could have done more and tried harder. I miss my baby Rosie sooo much. I keep seeing her in all her favorite parts of the house and on my bed next to my pillow where she slept next to me every single day since the first day i got her. I hope she knew how much i loved her.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

joyfulrose , I am so very sorry for your loss. You have been through such a terrible, terrible time, this week most of all, my heart goes out to you. There is no excuse for any vet, especially an ER vet, to be rude or abrupt with anyone going through what you and Rosie were going through, and with it being your first time having to go through the horrible situation of deciding about putting your dearest cat to sleep.

I can only tell you that from what you had been writing about Rosie here at TheCatSite, that it sounded so very similar to the time when I had to put my last kitty to sleep. She was so very sick and weak, a lot like your Rosie, but we knew for sure we were already dealing with a diabetic cat with pancreatitis. The ER vet sprung the news on us about her advanced cancer-- we found out too late to doing anything about that. It is possible that is what your Rosie was going through, maybe some type of cancer. I understand you cannot be sure because of your circumstances. But I did realize then that my cat was already dying and I had to face that. It is such a shock: the world spins faster than you can see or believe or trust and, above it all, you want to save your cat, you want to scream, you want to do more, try more, try anything, you want to take time to think it through to the last possibility of hope. It's terrible. Then she's gone, there in your arms, and you can't believe it.

Cats are such survivors, they have such a survivor instinct, they are an amazing animal. Because of that, they hide their pains and diseases so well, often we may not even realize how advanced in sickness they might be, nor do we have time and circumstances to always figure it out fully. When a cat reaches 17 years old like your Rosie, things can really snowball health-wise, and snowball so fast that you just can't understand or believe it's happening.

I like to think of a cat's strength and health and soul as the white sand in an hourglass. At the beginning of their life, there is more sand (more strength and health and vibrancy) at the top of the hourglass... the sand trickles very slowly down, with the help of gravity, and cats are able to be healthier almost without any effort. But as time passes and the cat ages, more sand drops down to the bottom, less sand at the top with more "air pockets" helping gravity out, too. When they reach an elderly state, there is very little sand and health and strength at the top of the cat's hourglass... the sand trickles faster, downwards, inevitably. Sometimes a whole slew of health issues zoom together and combine, and within weeks, an elderly cat that has made it that far in their great, long life, just cannot fight that so-called downward pull of gravity on their strength and health, the sand in their hourglass. The internal organs interact on such a mutual and delicate balance, when one organ really goes awry, it can result in a cascade effect for other organs, especially in older kitties. Sometimes there is a big rush and a quick lost of strength and health, and in what seems like no time at all, they are at death's door. It's possible that kidney failure could have been part of your cat's issues at the end, plus --with the fluid and swelling-- maybe a fast growing cancer? I am not a vet and I have no idea for sure about Rosie. But you unfortunately may never know for certain now what Rosie's complete health issues were. From my own experiences, I am not sure there was much you could have done for Rosie this week -- and though the vets tried to convey that to you and did so pretty poorly, they have experienced enough as vets to know some very dire signs for Rosie, even without immediate ultrasounds or blood work or xrays, even if you were able to provide for those for her. I think she was very ill this week.

I am so glad she slept so near to you Wednesday night. That is a precious thing, and she was a beautiful kitty, who shared so many great years with you, her photos are beautiful too. My heart is breaking for you so much! I am so sorry for your loss of your Rosie. I am not sure why I write so much, but my own current kitty's middle name is "Rose" and I guess I feel a small kinship in that.

((hugs))

 

[epona]

It is heartbreaking to read this, let alone go through it.

You did absolutely everything possible. You investigated every angle, you didn't just get a 2nd opinion, you got a 3rd and 4th by the sound of it.

It seems your cat was very ill - you did everything you could for her, but sometimes nothing can be done.

Please grieve without guilt, because you have nothing to feel bad about in the way you provided for her - you did absolutely everything possible, and were the best possible caretaker for her that anyone could be.

(If there is fluid gathering in the abdomen, that is the cause of dehydration, not the result of it - whatever caused that to happen is more serious - cancer, FIP, heart failure etc - the dehydration looks to be a symptom or happening as a result of the issue that caused her to get so ill, not the main thing behind it).

I can see from your posts how much care you gave - please do not ever think that you did anything wrong, I know it can be difficult to come to terms with, but you did everything possible and cared for your little girl to the last.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Society pushes "quick fixes" at us from every angle, and some people believe that there is one for every situation. Unfortunately, in real life, this is not the case. Every one of us has a finite time in this existence, on this earth. My beliefs, shared by many, are that this is but a small part of what is an eternal life. May you be comforted in time with cherished memories and also with this knowledge.
I was born into a family "with cat" -- he was 3 when I was born -- and he was my best friend for about 15 years. We did everything together. He slept at the foot of the bed every night. We loved each other dearly. He grew old and frail, and he left us. But I know he watches over me and that we will be together again in due time, never to part. I hope you can know this about Rosie, too, in time.

 

[Kflowers]

Rosie knows that you love her. You gave her the first great gift of a lifetime with you and your family. Then you gave her the hardest gift to give, you freed her from pain and suffering when there was no hope of her getting better.

Yes, you might have re-hydrated her, eased some of her other symptoms, but it would not have cured her. Rosie had reached the point where despite her love for you, her body just couldn't go on. It was time for her to escape the bonds of her physical body.

In any relationship, one must always go before the other. The one who goes remains with the other always. The one who stays bears the greater burden, for this one suffers the grief of loss. Every minute you feel your grief remember that by carrying it, you are sparing Rosie from experiencing it. This is the third gift you have given her.

In the quiet times you will feel her presence around you. Not as you did her psychical presence but in a different and just as real way. It may take awhile before you can release the need for her psychical presence and sense her still being with you but it will happen.

The bond of love can not be broken by time, nor by the simple change of form. Rosie loves you still, she is still with you. She always will be. Time will ease the pain, but not change the love.

 

[joyfulrose]

Thank you all so much. Your words are very beautiful and comforting. It still hurts so much today as it did the first day. I miss her every second of every day. It's still really hard to believe that she is gone. My heart still aches... I don't know if i will ever feel better... She was my everything, I loved her dearly, with everything in me. I was not ready for her to leave me yet. I keep replaying what the vet had told me that night- how he said he could not help her. I don't understand why he could not have at least tried. He refused to run tests and x-rays because he was so sure that no matter what she could not be saved. I hope he was right in what he felt. I hope we made the right decision. I hope she felt all of the love in my heart for her. I will never ever forget her.. My sweet baby Rosie.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Thank you all so much. Your words are very beautiful and comforting. It still hurts so much today as it did the first day. I miss her every second of every day. It's still really hard to believe that she is gone. My heart still aches... I don't know if i will ever feel better... She was my everything, I loved her dearly, with everything in me. I was not ready for her to leave me yet. I keep replaying what the vet had told me that night- how he said he could not help her. I don't understand why he could not have at least tried. He refused to run tests and x-rays because he was so sure that no matter what she could not be saved. I hope he was right in what he felt. I hope we made the right decision. I hope she felt all of the love in my heart for her. I will never ever forget her.. My sweet baby Rosie.

joyfulrose , I have (temporarily) lost many, many loved ones, and my loss of them still causes me a lot of sadness. It always will, until we are reunited. I am not sad for them, as they have risen above the pain of this world and are in a far, far better place! but I am sad for myself, because I miss their physical presence. Each person/being is different where loss and grief are concerned. There is no "right" or "wrong" in that. Your loss is very, very recent, so of course you are going to be in a lot of pain. This is quite normal, and you must endure it. No words or anything else can change that. In time, cherished memories will be of some comfort, I pray.
And yes, the doctor was correct, I believe. He was trying to save you not only pain, but also money, which is a fact of life we all must consider. The results would only have reinforced his diagnosis, at considerable cost to you. You made the compassionate and caring decision for HER, putting her above you, which I believe was the most loving thing to do. She knows that, and I believe, based on what you've written, that she was certainly asking for your help in this. You put her above yourself. That is truly loving.