this is not cat related, although i'd like to think that in the long run, my cats will thank me for being around for them, healthy, and for a really long time to forcefully cuddle with them and steal love from them when they're trying to sleep.
I'm trying to quit smoking. COLD TURKEY. I've tried the nicotine patches in the past, and in addition to me finding a loop hole where i would smoke as many cigs as possible before i put on the patch for the day, they gave me HORRIBLE nightmares for the 2 months i did attempt to use them.
its been a rough 1 week. It all started last week when i got the flu from a co worker, who's murder i'm plotting because by getting me sick, he also inadvertently got my boyfriend sick. but that's for another thread.
I don't smoke when i get sick because
a) it doesn't feel good.
b) smoking prolongs the duration of time spend being sick
c) i want to get better asap so i can smoke and enjoy it (go figure)
I was literally bed ridden for 2 days. had to take time off from work. i went into work Friday of last week. Still not feeling like smoking, but i had 1 cig left in my pack, figured i might as well kill it.
how sick and twisted is my thinking, I couldn't physically grasp whether or not i was feeling better, because apparently that's too difficult. So i thought to myself, "let me have this cigarette, if it doesn't hurt my throat and doesn't taste bad, i'm probably getting better"
i shouldn't have smoked. it tasted awful and hurt my throat and sent me into a coughing fit where i wouldn't stop coughing until i threw up, ended up leaving work early to start my sick weekend early.
the remainder of the weekend i did not smoke, even though by sunday i was feeling better. my boyfriend was even shocked. "why are you so crabby? when was the last time you smoked?" how easily that rolled off of his tongue. as if that is the only reason why i could be crabby, and ironically me having a cig was his cure all to not dealing my attitude. he's a non smoker.
I decided then i won't buy another pack. and i told him i was quitting, and that he better get used to the crabbiness. It then hit him that i haven't smoked for a few days. and he was so happy and proud of me. he offered me words of encouragement and told me he would deal with whatever i threw at him, as long as i quit and he would support me all the way.
i had been a smoker for 10 years. started very young at the age of 15, thinking it was a "phase" and that in a couple of years i could stop, if i wanted. i fooled myself into thinking i was only a social smoker, when in reality i was buying 1 pack a day or 1 pack every other day...especially since i started my new job over the summer...
i have this crippling fear of buses. like, i used to have full blown anxiety attacks if i ever had to get on a bus, or a van, or an RV, or a truck (i had to when i moved and i threw up after getting off). it's something that has been with me since i was a kid. but low and behold, the job i work at now, requires me to take a bus to get there. its either, take 1 train, and 1 bus, and the bus drops me 1 block away from my job, or, i take 3 trains, and walk 20-30 mins to the office...
in order to prime myself before getting on a bus, or waiting for my imminent death (the bus), i smoked 2-3 cigs just to calm myself down, and then another 1-2 cigs after getting off the bus. it had become a very disgusting ritual. and soon, i was no longer anxious about the bus, but, i was anxious if i had to wait for the bus, and i had no cigs to smoke. i kind of went into addict mode. like i was a hardcore drug addict, feigning for some crack, and my brain couldn't think of anything else.
i've been cigarette free for like i said, 1 week. yesterday was especially hard for me, as i am no longer sick. and have to take the bus, and my body is going into mini anxiety attacks because i can't smoke before getting on the bus, or getting off the bus. and when i'm on the bus, i'm especially more skittish than usual. i feel like at any moment we're all going to crash and die. not to mention my appetite has kicked in. full swing. and all i ever want to eat anymore are donuts -____- there goes my hard work for trying to lose 30 lbs over the past 1 year lol.
i'm sorry this has become as long as it did. I just wanted to share. maybe someone else out there is going through the same thing i am, with quitting smoking, or has in the past. some words of encouragement would be nice. apparently my amazing glowing skin is not enough for me to stay away from the cancer sticks and i still think about giving in and buying a pack; i've noticed that since i've stopped smoking, and even though it has only been 1 week, my skin glows. its amazing. i don't feel the need to wear makeup anymore, although i refuse to leave the house without any mascara. oh and my hair smells amazing all day
i love this site so much. it has helped me so much when it came to my kitties. i'm hoping a little support will help me to kick this habit.
Thanks for reading/listening
I'm trying to quit smoking. COLD TURKEY. I've tried the nicotine patches in the past, and in addition to me finding a loop hole where i would smoke as many cigs as possible before i put on the patch for the day, they gave me HORRIBLE nightmares for the 2 months i did attempt to use them.
its been a rough 1 week. It all started last week when i got the flu from a co worker, who's murder i'm plotting because by getting me sick, he also inadvertently got my boyfriend sick. but that's for another thread.
I don't smoke when i get sick because
a) it doesn't feel good.
b) smoking prolongs the duration of time spend being sick
c) i want to get better asap so i can smoke and enjoy it (go figure)
I was literally bed ridden for 2 days. had to take time off from work. i went into work Friday of last week. Still not feeling like smoking, but i had 1 cig left in my pack, figured i might as well kill it.
how sick and twisted is my thinking, I couldn't physically grasp whether or not i was feeling better, because apparently that's too difficult. So i thought to myself, "let me have this cigarette, if it doesn't hurt my throat and doesn't taste bad, i'm probably getting better"
i shouldn't have smoked. it tasted awful and hurt my throat and sent me into a coughing fit where i wouldn't stop coughing until i threw up, ended up leaving work early to start my sick weekend early.
the remainder of the weekend i did not smoke, even though by sunday i was feeling better. my boyfriend was even shocked. "why are you so crabby? when was the last time you smoked?" how easily that rolled off of his tongue. as if that is the only reason why i could be crabby, and ironically me having a cig was his cure all to not dealing my attitude. he's a non smoker.
I decided then i won't buy another pack. and i told him i was quitting, and that he better get used to the crabbiness. It then hit him that i haven't smoked for a few days. and he was so happy and proud of me. he offered me words of encouragement and told me he would deal with whatever i threw at him, as long as i quit and he would support me all the way.
i had been a smoker for 10 years. started very young at the age of 15, thinking it was a "phase" and that in a couple of years i could stop, if i wanted. i fooled myself into thinking i was only a social smoker, when in reality i was buying 1 pack a day or 1 pack every other day...especially since i started my new job over the summer...
i have this crippling fear of buses. like, i used to have full blown anxiety attacks if i ever had to get on a bus, or a van, or an RV, or a truck (i had to when i moved and i threw up after getting off). it's something that has been with me since i was a kid. but low and behold, the job i work at now, requires me to take a bus to get there. its either, take 1 train, and 1 bus, and the bus drops me 1 block away from my job, or, i take 3 trains, and walk 20-30 mins to the office...
in order to prime myself before getting on a bus, or waiting for my imminent death (the bus), i smoked 2-3 cigs just to calm myself down, and then another 1-2 cigs after getting off the bus. it had become a very disgusting ritual. and soon, i was no longer anxious about the bus, but, i was anxious if i had to wait for the bus, and i had no cigs to smoke. i kind of went into addict mode. like i was a hardcore drug addict, feigning for some crack, and my brain couldn't think of anything else.
i've been cigarette free for like i said, 1 week. yesterday was especially hard for me, as i am no longer sick. and have to take the bus, and my body is going into mini anxiety attacks because i can't smoke before getting on the bus, or getting off the bus. and when i'm on the bus, i'm especially more skittish than usual. i feel like at any moment we're all going to crash and die. not to mention my appetite has kicked in. full swing. and all i ever want to eat anymore are donuts -____- there goes my hard work for trying to lose 30 lbs over the past 1 year lol.
i'm sorry this has become as long as it did. I just wanted to share. maybe someone else out there is going through the same thing i am, with quitting smoking, or has in the past. some words of encouragement would be nice. apparently my amazing glowing skin is not enough for me to stay away from the cancer sticks and i still think about giving in and buying a pack; i've noticed that since i've stopped smoking, and even though it has only been 1 week, my skin glows. its amazing. i don't feel the need to wear makeup anymore, although i refuse to leave the house without any mascara. oh and my hair smells amazing all day
i love this site so much. it has helped me so much when it came to my kitties. i'm hoping a little support will help me to kick this habit.
Thanks for reading/listening