I adopted Charlie six months ago. He was about one year old and had come from an animal hoarding situation. As I understand it, his basic needs were met but he didn't get much human socialization. I have two other cats and they all get along very well with lots of mutual grooming and play fighting. Charlie has warmed up to me a bit. Oddly, he is most affectionate when I am lying in bed: he'll come around for petting and head-scratches and purrs loudly. At all other times, he runs away if I try to pet him. Has anyone else encountered this kind of behavior? Why is bedtime the only time he is willing to be petted? Are there other things I can do to help him relax?
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Super Shy, Undersocialized Kitty
- Thread starter suzan30
- Start Date
Yes, Willow has been with me nearly seven years now and still only really allows petting when we are both lying in bed. I think they are more relaxed then because we aren’t looming over them and they know we aren’t going to pick them up.
During the day Willow will run if I get too close to her but every once and a while will allow me a second or two of petting her. I think it is not only poor socialization but the trauma of being captured and caged that makes them fearful.
You can try luring your guy over to you during the day by holding out spoonfuls of some yummy wet treat. I know of individuals who have been successful using food to not only get the cat used to being close but also being picked up. It didn’t work for Willow because she is highly suspicious of any food offering, including her meals, and needs to hide for a while before she will eat it.
During the day Willow will run if I get too close to her but every once and a while will allow me a second or two of petting her. I think it is not only poor socialization but the trauma of being captured and caged that makes them fearful.
You can try luring your guy over to you during the day by holding out spoonfuls of some yummy wet treat. I know of individuals who have been successful using food to not only get the cat used to being close but also being picked up. It didn’t work for Willow because she is highly suspicious of any food offering, including her meals, and needs to hide for a while before she will eat it.
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Juniper is also a sneaky middle-of-the-night cuddler. When we first got her, she didn't like sudden movements or noises, and wouldn't come over to us to be petted, or let us approach her at all, although she would play with us and spend time in the same room.
With time, she eventually deigned to be petted a little bit when she was in places where she felt safe-- her cat tree, while she was hiding in the closet, etc. Then she worked up jumping onto the couch where we were sitting just to say hello, then immediately jumping off and running away. She did the same while we were sleeping in the middle of the night-- a quick kamikaze leap into bed, one quick pet, and she was off to the living room. Gradually, she's worked up to staying longer, and has even recently taken to curling up next to me, purring and sometimes snoozing. She will occasionally sit on the couch with us now, too, but clearly she felt safer initially only approaching us while we were asleep. And now she'll come greet us when we get home for a brief pet, and even wait outside the bathroom door for attention. So we're really getting somewhere. This is about 4 months after we got her, and we know very little about her history, except that she was abandoned and then spent some time in a shelter.
So, based on my experience with Juniper, I agree with Susanm9006-- I think they find us humans less threatening and less likely to make threatening noises or movements when we're sleeping, so it's a good testing ground.
Juniper didn't really respond well to food offerings either, and seemed to prefer playtime as a way to getting used to us. It's also involved lots and lots of patience with our friendly gestures being rebuffed-- we just keep trying and let her decide. I've always had the sense with her that there's a friendly little soul just dying to feel safe enough for snuggles, so maybe Charlie is the same, and just needs some time and encouragement. It sounds like you're already doing a great job with him. He's lucky to have you after being in such a difficult situation!
With time, she eventually deigned to be petted a little bit when she was in places where she felt safe-- her cat tree, while she was hiding in the closet, etc. Then she worked up jumping onto the couch where we were sitting just to say hello, then immediately jumping off and running away. She did the same while we were sleeping in the middle of the night-- a quick kamikaze leap into bed, one quick pet, and she was off to the living room. Gradually, she's worked up to staying longer, and has even recently taken to curling up next to me, purring and sometimes snoozing. She will occasionally sit on the couch with us now, too, but clearly she felt safer initially only approaching us while we were asleep. And now she'll come greet us when we get home for a brief pet, and even wait outside the bathroom door for attention. So we're really getting somewhere. This is about 4 months after we got her, and we know very little about her history, except that she was abandoned and then spent some time in a shelter.
So, based on my experience with Juniper, I agree with Susanm9006-- I think they find us humans less threatening and less likely to make threatening noises or movements when we're sleeping, so it's a good testing ground.
Juniper didn't really respond well to food offerings either, and seemed to prefer playtime as a way to getting used to us. It's also involved lots and lots of patience with our friendly gestures being rebuffed-- we just keep trying and let her decide. I've always had the sense with her that there's a friendly little soul just dying to feel safe enough for snuggles, so maybe Charlie is the same, and just needs some time and encouragement. It sounds like you're already doing a great job with him. He's lucky to have you after being in such a difficult situation!
Hi!You've received some great input already, and patience and time seem to be a general consensus. I don't know if there's anything beyond that in this article but thought I'd post it for you just in case.
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats
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