As many of you know, I answer phones as part of my job. Some of the questions I get are amazing! I really wish I could be a smartypants and answer them with what I think, but I would probably get fired.
You don't have to work answering or talking on phones to be part of this "game". I'm sure we've all gotten the stupid questions on the phone, whether or not it's from someone you know. Kinda like Bill Engvall's "here's your sign", this is what I want to say on the phone, but don't:
Me: I'm sorry, R is out at a meeting, would you like his voice mail?
Idiot: Are you sure he's gone? I just got an email from him.
*What I want to say*: Nope, I'm lying. He's right here. I just wanted to see if you REALLY wanted to talk to him first.
*****
Idiot: How long will they be on the phone/in a meeting?
*What I want to say*: According to the coffee grounds in his mug, I believe he should be 23 minutes and 17 seconds.
*****
Idiot calling back after being on hold for 30 seconds and not being immediately connected to their party: I was holding for S and I got disconnected.
*What I want to say*: Yeah, that would be because you hung up. That will happen every single time...
So tell me your stupid phone calls and what great comebacks you want to use, but probably shouldn't.
You don't have to work answering or talking on phones to be part of this "game". I'm sure we've all gotten the stupid questions on the phone, whether or not it's from someone you know. Kinda like Bill Engvall's "here's your sign", this is what I want to say on the phone, but don't:
Me: I'm sorry, R is out at a meeting, would you like his voice mail?
Idiot: Are you sure he's gone? I just got an email from him.
*What I want to say*: Nope, I'm lying. He's right here. I just wanted to see if you REALLY wanted to talk to him first.
*****
Idiot: How long will they be on the phone/in a meeting?
*What I want to say*: According to the coffee grounds in his mug, I believe he should be 23 minutes and 17 seconds.
*****
Idiot calling back after being on hold for 30 seconds and not being immediately connected to their party: I was holding for S and I got disconnected.
*What I want to say*: Yeah, that would be because you hung up. That will happen every single time...
So tell me your stupid phone calls and what great comebacks you want to use, but probably shouldn't.