Still feeling raw after losing my boy

[KK300]

We lost our Sammy two years ago. He developed liver problems in 2020, and we did absolutely everything we could to help him, we never thought that we would fail to cure him.

He was such an intelligent and funny little guy. I miss him so much, he was my best friend.

I am haunted by his last moments. We were lucky (because of Covid) that we could be with him at the end, but I just can't get past the feeling that I should have done better for him. I have nightmares about his passing (although it was peaceful, I never envisaged it happening in that way), I just keep re-living those moments, and I can't move past that, I find it so upsetting.

I miss him so much.

 

[FeebysOwner]

There will always be regrets, no matter what. Always. We will always think we could have done more than we did - and, so often that is not the case in reality. We do what we can, and we hope.

Take some solace in the fact that Sammy went peacefully and remember all the good memories that you have of him, and the times you shared with him, even those throughout his illness.

There is no truer statement than the old chiche - "Pets leave paw prints on our hearts". But they don't leave them there to make us suffer when they are gone, they leave them there as a reminder of how much they were loved - and, that they loved back - and for us to remember all the times that were enjoyed together.

When you are ready, share some stories here about Sammy, and pics if you have them. It can help to heal some, but it is also an everlasting tribute to Sammy and the love you shared that will always be here for you to look at and reminiscence when you need that reminder of something that can never be taken away - Sammy and you. He is no longer with you, but he will stay in your heart and would want to be rejoiced for what he gave to you and what you gave to him.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentIe, Sammy, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

We do not "get over" the Ioss of a beIoved animaI companion, our famiIy member, we "get through" it, but the Ioss is forever. Not as raw and tearing as at first, but it is there. I stiII cry occasionaIIy for Kim, the dog who was my "sister" growing up, and I Iost her aImost 50 years ago. But sIowIy, the painfuI memories are overshadowed by the sweet ones. They do not Ieave, but they are not in the front of our minds so often.

The deep Iove you have for Sammy comes through in every word of your post. And I promise you, Sammy Iived, breathed, and had his being wrapped in that Iove, from the moment he came into your Iife to the moment he Ieft. When you knew his battIe was over, you walked him to the Gate between This Adventure and his Next Great Adventure, and sent him on his way with your love beside him. Now, from That Place Where All Things Are Known, he blesses you, he knows all you wanted for him, and he sends his love, translated and purified into Love, back to walk with you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

 

[di and bob]

two years is usually the starting point of healing. your reaching out may be the start.
As said above there is no time limit on grieving. i will see my beloved Chrissy getting killed for the rest of my life. and that was ten years ago. but time helps soften the sharp points of grief, and you find ways to cope. there comes a point when you do realize there is no way to ever change the past, no matter how much you want to. you realize your precious little one would never want you to be in such pain. so you try to go forward into life and live it as you would have wanted for them to go on if you were the first to go. more love DOES fill that empty spot, it will always leave a scar but definitely helps. i have a special place i put all my hurt. i realize it will never go away, but it doesnt have to run your life. DO NOT LET IT. it accomplishes nothing and ruins other lives too. start with baby steps and find something you can force yourself to enjoy again. the hurt will emerge again and again, but you can begin to dictate when. that is the first step in managing it. i know how much this hurts, please take comfort in the good memories, there are so many more of them. ill pray for your sweet boy and for you, you have to believe there is a power out there that can help.....

 

[Mia6]

i am so sorry.

 

[Mighty Orange]

I'm with you, KK. It takes time and still you will have moments of painful memories.

 

[marshmallow2013]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. I lost my beloved boy, Mittens last October. I still can’t accept that he is gone forever. Mornings are really difficult so is bedtime.

 

[KK300]

Thank you all so much. Your supportive messages mean so much. I feel like I should be accepting it by now, but I'm not.

I miss Sammy so much, he was my little friend, he was always with me. I still can't believe he's gone, he was such a huge part of my life. I miss him every day, he was such a special little guy. It breaks my heart that he is not here to wrap himself around my head at night.

I just miss him so much